bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №30295
 20.05.2010
by Diesel:
"Respond to the novel:
Sometimes in my youth I added on the course 512 DDR then the tea of the mother splashed :)"

The Ancient Man Learned How to Get Fire


[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №30294
 20.05.2010
Archer: Look, the bulghotters stopped sitting in contacts?? to
xxx: So I gave them your words that you will take them if they don’t stop.
Archer:...o_o
Archer: Not you @#bu, Serge... The Soap!! to
Isn’t that the same thing?

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №30293
 20.05.2010
I remembered.
7-10 years ago, at the time of sites on folk.ru, I stumbled on someone’s personal page. A notable feature of it was the weather informant. And everything would be nothing, but it was a photo of a regular street thermometer, which lies on the window outside.
He read every morning his thermometer, cut it in size, and inserted it on the site.
I checked a few days - the informant worked correctly)))))

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №30292
 20.05.2010
and Mourik:
I told my parents that I was going to get a motorcycle right in the summer. so the father again began to beat in hysteria, and the mother said "everything that is between the legs, the vehicle is not"...

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №30291
 20.05.2010
It’s like being eaten by a Swedish ambassador in Papua. Yes, they eat, but that’s the tradition. Again, they regretted and even allowed to eat the ambassador of Papua in Sweden.

[ + 83 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №30290
 20.05.2010
I make a presentation on study
Stereotypes about Britain. I started looking for a picture of Philios Fogg from the cartoon Around the World in 80 Days
What is the presentation???? to
I was immersed in childhood))) when I reviewed the cassette with the recording several times)))

Plus everyone who remembers Phillios Fogg, Pasparto, Fix, Billinda Maine, and Lord Maine.
Sorry for the inaccuracies if there are.)

Do you have a plan, Mr. Fix?? to
Yes, I have a plan, Mr. Fix!

[ + 173 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №30289
 20.05.2010
Today we have a teacher at the lecture. He brought a vessel with liquid nitrogen for a pair. He licked them various objects, and then broke them with a hammer. He then wore a rubber glove and dropped his thumb into nitrogen. At the same time, he said that the pain is not felt at all and it is almost safe. He kept his finger in the nitrogen for 30 seconds and raised his hand. He touched his finger and said with a happy face that he was frozen.
He put his hand on the table and swallowed his finger!! There were pink pieces on all sides. The girls whispered, and the guys sat with this face of O_o. It turned out that he blinded his finger from plasticine and put it in a gloves in advance:))))))))

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №30288
 20.05.2010
The Race:

I went somehow to a friend with a beer, drank, talked, naturally squeezed, went to the toilet. I go in and see the picture - a roll of toilet paper (soft, pink) stands on the shelf (alternatively), another roll is harder and unpainted (but the USSR), a slicked tube sheet of small slick paper (zero), the same sheet of a large slick (seven probably)... became scary.
__________________

Ten years ago, I went to the bathroom. On the wall four pockets for toilet paper, above each inscription. In the two ordinary toilet paper, above them is written "For boys" and "For girls", in the third - a sliced newspaper ("For old-fashioned people") and in the latter - a slice ("For lovers of sharp sensations").

[ + 76 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №30287
 20.05.2010
comments on the topic at the Kyrgyz Forum that Rosa Otunbayev was appointed interim president of Kyrgyzstan until the end of 2011:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

yyy: well yes, why, they are the results of the morning poll on the forum of pasmarelli, where the majority of votes "for" and decided that so will come.

zzz: Putin probably sits and thinks "and how could it have been that way too? o_0"

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №30286
 20.05.2010
Pictures of mentally ill people. The first comment killed:
I painted like that in school.

[ + 72 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №30285
 20.05.2010
Why are you so messy on the floor?
Yyy: Hm... because I’m having a disorderly sex life.

[ + 70 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №30284
 20.05.2010
Time – midnight, dialogue in the ass, with a man in the army (Kier):

Devi: I am going to sleep.
I want to get up at six.
I’d like to do it too, but it’s dressed :)
Can’t you take off the dress?
Kier: Yeah, it is just like this:)))

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №30283
 20.05.2010
Boy: Generally, it will be gentle, so that you won’t even notice anything.
I want to say something 😉
Q: Well, I’ll give you the signs so you don’t get confused)))
D: to raise the signs?)))
P is ah. "Stand up", "Stand up", "Cry and scratch your back"
D: * rofl *
P: and at the end of the "Burning Applause"

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №30282
 20.05.2010
to this:

We decided that we would open NarcDonald’s.In it will be "GashishBurger","Drug free" and "McMac",and "HappyCurry"))
____________________________________________________________
Max is
This is what I smoke!!!! to

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №30281
 20.05.2010
Mashutka: Well, while we wait for rl - insert the letter to get the word: _lyon
Tagged: Member
by Sanyalol: члён
Princess: Member
Knightofdeath: The Clone
Imbalena: O0 suddenly


[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №30280
 20.05.2010
Money, of course, does not smell, but to have it, you need to have a good smell.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №30279
 20.05.2010
The summer. My wife and daughter are on duty service in Moscow. The hour of night.
The call. The Worried Wife:
Wow, what to do? Tanke had a huge butterfly in her ear.
It comes out!
I advise to find a pincet in the cosmetic and act on it. In a few minutes I will receive a thank you SMS. This is prehistory.

From the testimony of eyewitnesses it was possible to establish the following: at midnight, having laid the children, two girlfriends sit on the wing to drink honeymoon to talk about this. At this time, a healing night butterfly crashes into one’s ear on a shaving flight and floats inside, after which it begins futile attempts to get out. Trying to get free, the animal furiously scratches his legs about the drum membrane. It turns out that it is very painful. Also becomes obvious the fact that the female ear is deep enough to accommodate a fairly large insect, and it is not possible to extract it with your fingers.
At the Extraordinary Council, the decision is made not to call Shoigu, but to do so by false means. For example a toothbrush. After several sensitive injections into the butt, the creature decides to leave the sadists through the brain, but the female drum membrane turns out to be strong enough and the attempt to escape fails.
Furthermore, the Council decides to drown the joint leg, and get rid of the body with a strong stream of water. The victim moves into the shower. Washing brings some results in the form of stopping snoring, after which experts conclude the onset of death due to drowning. However, removing the body with water pressure is not possible.
Try to replace water with air. The powerful Delonghi vacuum cleaner comes into operation with a removable container for dust collection. A visual inspection of the container shows the absence of a butterfly in it, a visual inspection of the ear confirms the disappointing conclusions of experts – drowning led to a bloating of the body, which prevented the suction.
The High Council makes a brilliant decision. Since when taking off an airplane, the laying of ears can be eliminated by swallowing, experts come to the conclusion about the connection of ears with the nasopharynx, and therefore between them. In the light of God, a pump is drawn for inflating air balls.
The attention! Under the drum break, the pump is naturally inserted into the ear opposite to the affected. However, the failure of the experiment proves the errors of theoretical calculations.
Finally, the Council decides to abandon the futile struggle, the help of the hall and the 50/50. Called a friend. Next you know.

P.S The extracted insect immediately went up into the air and quietly fled to the nearest lighthouse to complain.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №30278
 20.05.2010
The work of British masters. The Mexican Gulf. Picture of oil.

[ + 55 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №30277
 20.05.2010
The entrance is usual: a home phone, smoking in olive banks, in the elevator.
And here – between the first and second floors, just under the mailboxes – no one brought. very large. and brown. and glossy. The Spiral of Archimedes. On the first day, we spotted, grumbled, sympathized with the neighbors. Neighbors did not need sympathy and on the second day solved the problem unstandardly and aesthetically: they poured a bunch of sugar sand. White currant with yellow spots. Truffle in Russian. Fuck the sugar.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №30276
 20.05.2010
British scientists have discovered that I eat nothing unclear

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