Jesus promised to destroy the evil people, Thor promised to deal with the ice giants. And you know what? I don’t see ice giants.

In the apartment over us constantly run children... like a flock of elephants... run in the morning, day, night... I get up, eat, work, go to bed and they all run! If these fucks grow up and don’t become Olympic long-distance champions, I’ll be sorry I didn’t stifle them right away.

Klever: Happiness at work happened)) I sit and sing out loud. Here my colleagues look at me like he is... Well I say: I just love singing. Peter is scared at this point.)

Tomorrow is the end of the world, you know?
Yes, today you have to go out, try drugs and have sex with everyone in a row.
What if he doesn’t exist?
We will have a good day anyway :)

Diploma is like a girl.
First all the blood, the nerves, the strength and the grandmother will dry.
And then you protect him.

CHC
Lack of heart in the soul)

CHC
As if the cookies were removed.

What do you think of a walk in the Batonical Garden?
YYY: Will we collect the buttons?

Xxx: only in Russia could crash on a bustling crossroads in a towing thread (!!!) Between two lightheads

Jalin: On RBC now 2 news in a row:

1st It became known to whom Putin will give up his place!
2nd Tomorrow at 6 a.m. is the second coming of Christ.

Give up so.

May 21 – There are 224 days left of the year.
Have you read "To the end of the world"?and :)

My recently found in my phone contact "Free sex", called and asked my boss "...To pass on that bl*di who owns the phone to stay away from my husband, otherwise the rectal torture list. In the end, the boss has been afraid to say hello to me for a week.

Comment to News
"Scientists will tell Moscow about the evolution of the universe":
The 2030 year.
20 years of education reform. The report is delivered by Fursenko.
There is no education like this anywhere. I have traveled around the globe and I know!! to
Out of the room there was an outraged voice:
It cannot be! The earth is flat, objects heavier than air can not fly, and if anything will take off by the grace of God, it will break up the heavenly firmness!

A cleaner enters the information technology department and asks loudly: - Who can use a computer here? Everyone, without exception, responds in a positive way. The cleaner continues: - Then sit down for them, go to the Internet and look, goats, a site where they learn to use the sorting!

After the crash test of the new "Lada Grand" it was decided to install a catapult on it.

@ibo_voistinu: Some argue that homosexuality is a disease. "Hello, I can't come to work again today, I still feel like a pederast"

Life experience is just a beautiful name for countless misconceptions.

Untouchable Avengers
I travel with my family to Volgograd.
There are a lot of cars, but we still move at the speed of an unlearned pedestrian.
On the left of me is an unpleasant company on the cruiser. It happens, seemingly ordinary funny guys, but it feels like they have some fun, not good - at the expense of others.
From the passenger window for half a meter prompted a loud and funny looking forward, like a dog going to the country. He was talking on the phone and was therefore forced to scream to scream the street... From the open window of the rear door, the feet in black shoes were just turning and airing in the wind. There were five people in the car and all the boys.
I hear, and then I see in my rear mirror, that the motorcycle is approaching. A small table with wheels slightly larger than the office chairs. On the roller tightly pressed to each other, a guy and a girl are sitting, both without helmets, but a girl in short jeans shorts. They cling between me and the "cruiser" and suddenly the girl with one sharp movement removes the shoe with the foot and the moped, accelerating, moves forward, labyrinth between the cars. Meanwhile, the flow stops to zero.
The jeep is signaling in impotent anger, trying to roll out for the meeting, but there is also a iron stream. The "boys" loudly cries out, from the back door pops out a barrel in a white socks, but quickly realizes that walking for a trampoline with a leaving shoe, you can no longer catch up...
All this was unexpected and looked wild, I turned my head and met with the driver of the neighboring "gigol", he smiled widely, showing me to drop the glass.
The Driver:
No good girl, you have to. Five minutes ago, I followed this.
I was in a jeep, and the motorcycle passed by, so they were all elevated.
From the window to the belt to touch the girl’s ass. They did not reach,
They wore something, and then poured them from their feet to their heads with some white shit.
From McDonald’s... The boy had to stop to wipe out.
The eyes.
And then you saw the continuation...

All our traffic joke was glad that the "taburet" is no longer to catch up, because there is only a flying citroen in Phantom...

Beloved, is it true that I have been given to you by God?
I don’t know what sins I have...

If the government continues to restrict oil prices, it will soon be more profitable to drink gasoline and drive vodka.

At work, the woman said:
I bought a toothpaste. I cleaned for three days and only on the fourth I learned that it was a hand cream.
O.O