bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №113439
 15.05.2015
On the weekend we rested in the forest. I, twins Katya and Andrei at 6 years old and our grandmother.
Katya has not taken a pilot since May 9, so she liked it.
A couple of years past 55.
Why is this girl in the pilot and the boy is not? A boy who doesn’t want to serve in the army. What is he??? Give me a white ticket?! to
I: :facepalm: :facepalm:
I want to be a builder!
There are building troops too!
Katya is yes. They fight with bricks.

:D :D :D
I still imagine this army that strikes enemies with bricks and pouches concrete. Construction is a force.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №113438
 15.05.2015
I wanted to get in the office to the type 63:0, hang those mice for the tails for the fan. The author did not leave the coordinates. And in vain. Black is not black, such a chance is missed.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №113437
 15.05.2015
xxx: Gnome is made for users
Yyy: It’s not difficult, the developers probably know them all by name.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №113436
 15.05.2015
“Everyone who has listened to Mikhalkov announcing the stations in the Moscow metro will receive a bill at the end of the month.
Those who did not listen to Mikhalkov announcing the stations in the Moscow metro will also receive a bill at the end of the month. Probably those who listened told them.

c) is

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №113435
 15.05.2015
I was in Germany, and so it was tired there - neither to throw the straw, neither to spit on the asphalt, neither to drink beer... boredom! I thought she was joking, Anna didn’t.

Drinking on the street. You need to drink in special facilities, oh.
To throw or spit, if it were my will, like a cat, my nose would tick. Plunged - right away you nose into your food, to drive on the asphalt there and here.
You are used to scratching everywhere, scratches... Spit at home and throw the smoke around the corners.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №113434
 15.05.2015
I listen to the news while driving. The story is about a girl who can reach her eyes with her tongue. I look at the children, the elderly starts trying, the younger repeats. Wow, I don’t think you can hold on!! I also stretch!! to
The man who stood with us on the lightforest looked with such eyes...
Sorry, we are not a foolish family. At least in the medical sense of the word.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №113433
 15.05.2015
The man who invented in the sitting wagon of the train one armpit between two places, apparently should have been born with a butt not divided into half-poppy.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113432
 15.05.2015
Q: How long is it and how long is it for the movie at all?

That’s about black, short XD

M: Shake up, I haven’t read such short reviews before)

Without any spoilers!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113431
 15.05.2015
Cassum: Well, I just didn’t have that teenage period, you know, when I was leaving home. I started around 18 years old when I started leaving the country. and :)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №113430
 15.05.2015
Well, then you can approximately imagine a person’s reaction to this answer:
Do you have the tubes tied? (A question to me from an unfamiliar aunt on a walk - I went with three children)
And with you?
I thought she would sink...

= is

Oh! I have seen! I have seen that scene! ? Here are the ones on)))))) Truth, everything was a little different))) The nasty mom took three completely ugly behavior children out for a walk. I’m not going to go into unfathomable details, but very quickly they survived all who were nearby. I also went from there with my son, because connecting with such ones is more expensive. And just then I heard the old lady going after me, looking at the empty courtyard, jokingly joking:
Do you buy a rubber for you?
My mother was furiously angry:
Buy yourself!
The old woman, astonished, kept quiet

But how different people describe the same story ?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113429
 15.05.2015
XXX: No marketer can resist a man with a list!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №113428
 15.05.2015
The pioneers of stereo recording. Under the photo is the signature: "Alan Blumlein, the first man with two ears".

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113427
 15.05.2015
I’m silent about sex education classes in Germany.

You say it as if it was something bad.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113426
 15.05.2015
Sergey: Memories of you, Ruslan, like me.
I am not Ruslan!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №113425
 15.05.2015
On YouTube comment on the fake about sending the Tyumen zecks to fight in Donbas:

Gusev Alexander: A gang from Amur arrived in Odessa.

Zheka: There were urki shuleraya in the gang.

Alexander Ilyushin: The gang was engaged in dark affairs,

Kalinin Ruslan: The combat actions led.

Kalinin Ruslan: This gang was ruled by a personally evil Putin.
He cannot live without war.
But in the footsteps of the gang from Amur himself
The boys came from SBA.

Kalinin Ruslan: There were five storms in this gang.
Seven Romanians and Romanians.
The gang travelled on rotten armor.
It scared the Ukrainian Crimea.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №113424
 15.05.2015
There are women they do not leave. They run away from them. by night. In some slides.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №113423
 15.05.2015
A 6-year-old girl is watching the parade with her dad on May 9 on the Red Square.
Why are there two flags?
The first is the national flag of our country, Russia.
And the second?
This is the flag of victory. He was placed on the roof of the Reichstag in Berlin in 1945.
Why did they remove? Let him hang.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №113422
 15.05.2015
Now, after the earthquake has lowered Mount Everest by two centimeters, there will be people who will say, “Well, we have conquered another, high Mount Everest.”

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №113421
 15.05.2015
They borrowed shit with their zombie apocalypse. In ancient times, people burned the dead and no zombies were afraid. And now some people are doing it. So it is immediately clear where people will survive. As the ashes, he can't walk and eat his brains or flesh for nothing.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113420
 15.05.2015
More than
— — —
...Periodically ordinary people there win courts both at large corporations and at the state. Is this often happening in Russia?
— — —
periodically, a lawyer, polishing materials, can easily take the case without taking a copy of the client, until he wins the trial. The delayed is divided in percentages, up to 50/50, depending on the complexity. Or without money at all, for the sake of prestige in the resonant business, for the sake of a portfolio. In criminal proceedings, the court may appoint a defendant who does not have his lawyer, generally any passing lawyer, whether he is at least three times Padova. He will work for the state. And to blast the interests of the client, rather than to conspire with the prosecutor behind the back of the defendant.
and in Russia, the consultation of a lawyer, consisting of listening to the situation and answering "I will not take this case", is already paid by the client - "time is spent!"

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna