bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №113419
 15.05.2015
Bk: He is a universal employee.
Bk: He doesn’t understand anything.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №113418
 15.05.2015
by 17258
Abstinence from sushi
_________________________
Some people do not have fun at the cafe, but work or study all day and can't eat anywhere else.

But in general, you are right, I am also affected by these "midias" in a expensive restaurant, although lean food used to mean not so much vegetarian as simple - it was assumed that a person would not spend on excesses and sacrifice more money to the needy. It is not that instead of cheap peelings will start to turn red caviar with greenhouse strawberries, and then passively declare to acquaintances "Oh, I post in such a piece of straw!"

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №113417
 15.05.2015
She wants to wash her white shirt.
I tell her:
- See what else is in the light tank, and put it in the machine too.
If it is black and white, can it be used?
More black or white?

Pause for 5 minutes, then shouts out of the bathroom:
It has 91 white stripes and 88 black stripes, so the light is suitable!

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №113416
 15.05.2015
Okay to you! Excellent color of hair. You can tell everyone you’re a punk.
With this color of hair I can only say: "Multipassport".

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113415
 15.05.2015
Remember the old school. to this:

Somewhere I read that a vacuum cleaner can dry your eyes. I myself like to experiment, well, and decided to check) the eye on the spot only around the finjal)

Don’t even think of putting a teaspoon in the USB. Just don’t have to do it.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №113414
 15.05.2015
Much in life depends on human relationships. ...and so we live. What do you do with people, with yourself, and they with you.
____________
Let us go back to the originals. The chief was deaf, violating the laws, expelled the subordinate in the weekend for a demonstration. What should a subordinate have to do with such a boss? The human? No-no...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113413
 15.05.2015
xxx: Your question, I understand so, provocative and bullying, virtually does not need an answer. But since the topic is mine, I will fully conduct the provocation and answer in detail.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №113412
 15.05.2015
Comments on “16 Bright Refrigerators Will Help Eat With Appetite”
1st The refrigerator should be black and dull, so that you do not want to look into it again. It would be good if he beat the current. Autoblocker for the night. And that every time he closed the door, he would say with a deaf electronic voice: go out of here, fat creature, then do not forget to look in the mirror.
2nd In refrigerators, as well as in humans, the rich inner world is more important than the appearance.
Three and ah. As you look at the prices, all the appetite disappears.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113411
 14.05.2015
Xxx: I had to disappoint him. It’s pretty romantic, but it doesn’t matter, I’m married.
How is he, poor man? Get out of contact?
Xxx: And he started proudly telling how not in time returned husband some chips down the stairs.
Yyy: Well, he doesn’t look like an idiot trying to seduce a girl with a story about how he’s already broken someone’s life and then quit.
A man’s logic!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №113410
 14.05.2015
In the Bible, God told Solomon that he and the children of Israel should worship him alone and not serve other gods. There are many of them there. There must be a hierarchy.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113409
 14.05.2015
The C None:
A Chinese businessman has sent 6,400 workers on holiday to France.
Without any comments.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113408
 14.05.2015
The boss banned drinking at work
YYY: And you do not call him.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №113407
 14.05.2015
I live in Europe and they do everything to make us, the people, think and do what the government wants. No one cares about the real wishes of the people.
What is allowed, we do. Not more, not less.
and...
And they are not allowed to suck on the streets, to smoke at the stops, to turn the mosquito loudly at night, and for the squeezed mosquito in general can be planted. Say the falls? They ignore the real wishes of the people.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №113406
 14.05.2015
To give birth to a child and give it to a babysitter is brilliant. Why give birth to children if you don’t do it? If they are raised by a aunt, and you are only formally a mother?
– – – – –
And now instead of the "nyanya" and the "teti", put the "children's garden" and the "teacher" and wonder why these people give birth to children?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113405
 14.05.2015
here here :

Somewhere I read that a vacuum cleaner can dry your eyes. I myself like to experiment, well, and decided to check) the eye on the spot only around the finjal)

This is very important....

Shit, why did you write this? I had to go to the interview tomorrow!! to

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №113404
 14.05.2015
Not because of the good life our parents left us unattended.
My parents were divorced. My mother raised me alone. There were no grandmothers, no one. When I was 11, my mom went to the guard for the first time. In the Taipei. for a month. There were no phones. On the wardrobe on 9 floors, only 1 phone at the wardrobe for calling emergency services. The first time I was left with a aunt who came to me every day, cooking. But she didn’t heat her mom for money. Then I was left alone. She cooked, washed, cleaned, and taught herself. I had money. My neighbor received my father’s alimony and gave it to me. From the age of 14, I was issued all powers, alimony, my mother's subscription, everything I received, kept, spent. All birthdays and New Year's holidays were home alone, and my mother had a working watch. It was hard. And if then the means of communication were available now, everything would be different.
About the rape. In Tomsk in the summer, an unknown man took the girl straight from the kindergarten. I searched the whole city for a few days. not saved. Most women will not be able to get away from the attacker, even one. And rape frostbite even the elderly. No one is protected. But that doesn’t mean you just have to spit and hope it all goes well.
To educate a child to be independent and to give it to yourself is not the same thing.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113403
 14.05.2015
Aunt, an avid gardener, is negotiating with a friend on the subject of acquisition, pardon, fertilizer for beds. Dialogue between them:
– Sonja, you just tell me honestly, is the nail really good, right, shit?
What was answered at the other end of the tube, I don’t know, I didn’t hear from under the table, where my husband and I went out of the whistle. We will find out in the next day, we will find out.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113402
 14.05.2015
Why are all the quotes funny at night?
I read, I have fun, I give away to my friends. And in the morning I receive a lot of messages with doubts about my adequacy (

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №113401
 14.05.2015
The real case. The employee has written an application for leave, and on which a resolution of the boss is made. When the employee goes on vacation, the boss sees that he is absent.
Where is user_name?
He has been on vacation since yesterday.
Who allowed him?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113400
 14.05.2015
Those problems that in the 90s were solved in ten minutes by calling a friend, today it is necessary to break down for six months with the hiring of lawyers for five-digit amounts without the guarantee of the final result.
------------
It is immediately apparent that a man wants all his problems to be solved for his grandmother. Now the law is against. The state is on the guard of the law – it perceives it as personal hostility. What is this law? Maybe I should pay more?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna