bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №82192
 30.05.2013
So unwilling to collect! Put it all in some bag, shake, knock, tap in the end to get a ready interruptor.
You are like a car.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №82191
 30.05.2013
We know each other halfway.
YYY... a ninja?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №82190
 30.05.2013
The Soviet/Russian army is a miracle – they appeal to you and the matte: You are a dwarf, comrade [soldat, sergeant, officer, general, marshal]!

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №82189
 30.05.2013
Rekken: In the late 1990s, I was still standing at a tram stop in the famous town of Kursk. A crowd of people, what a blinded aunt stumbles to prepare for the assault of an incoming wagon, but the number for a hundred meters due to illness can not disassemble, therefore turns to some flegmatic guy in a shirt (whether smoked, or simply never winner of the school Olympiads) with the question:
What brand is it coming in?
The guy thirty seconds focused and says:
He knows what a Czechoslovak is.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №82188
 30.05.2013
The nephew went to the interview (entering the kindergarten-gymnasium). He was shown a cat without a tail and asked what was missing. He said meat. They showed me a table without one leg, and said there was not enough tea and cheese.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №82187
 30.05.2013
X: The winning algorithm is very simple – to raise the bet every time so that when winning all past losses + profits are covered and stop at the moment of the first win

Y: I’ve heard about a similar algorithm for roulette. You bet on red. If you lose, you put another cut, twice as much.
But it does not work, sooner or later it will come out so that the bets will rise, and the victory will not have time to come - the money will end.

X: Money and Time are infinite

Y: If you have endless money, you can’t go to the casino.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №82186
 29.05.2013
Sexual vaginism stimulates the body.
An excited organism performs onanism.
Regular onanism strengthens the body.
Strengthened organism draws on voyerism.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №82185
 29.05.2013
If at some point in your life you do not experience nostalgia, then you will have a strong nostalgia for that moment.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №82184
 29.05.2013
Concerning the unification of machines and people:

yyy: Imagine that you’re not just controlling a spacecraft, a huge combat machine, hundreds of meters high, and so on. things, and you are them.
You see in different spectrums of light, you "hear" sounds millions of kilometers away, you have unparalleled armor and firepower. With the power of one thought, you control everything. It’s like Augmetics, only the “bionic organs” are physically larger than humans.
XXX: Sorry of course, but how do you do sex?
yyy: your ship is attached to 10 small ones every hour, in all free gates... ;)
XXX is wow. and easier. Not all gates can be designed for connecting. Not every boat is ready to go. I feel like I have a traditional view of the match.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №82183
 29.05.2013
I am a dumb and fat fool.
Hm, you’re pretty self-critical, but you’re right.
Which is shit!!!!1111 was a vapour!!! Do not hurt me.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №82182
 29.05.2013
The real story. I am with a girlfriend. We buy ice cream. Absolutely without a back-thinking and how should"Give this conical ice cream." And the seller"Are you from a politician?"

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №82181
 29.05.2013
andquot;
After taking a break in speeches, the Russian went to a monastery on Mount Athos. There he worked in a carpenter workshop, driven a tractor and baked bread, not forgetting to report on it on Facebook. A few months later, Emelianenko, who had grown a beard of impressive sizes in the monastery, received a blessing from the elders to beat people again, and announced his return to the sport.
andquot;

and O-Kai
They would not have gone to it, only to get rid of it!! to
:D

[ + 32 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82180
 29.05.2013
The cat loves cooked chicken filet, we often buy him. I and my husband are in the store, asking what we have at home. I answer without any backthought: "Only cat filets". At the edge of my eyes I see a teenager standing next to me, looking at me with horror. I overcame the temptation to laugh at Alpha laughter... Boy, if you read this, we don’t eat cats! How much of that philanthropy...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №82179
 29.05.2013
I have a friend who works at Microsoft. Recently he admitted that he is only buying Apple technology
Well it is right! Those who work in the meat machines - they too, neither sausages nor sausages eat.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №82178
 29.05.2013
The Ministry of Culture has come up with a new bill under which search engines “are obliged to provide priority in search results for links to websites on the Internet that contain legal information”.

You can also force the Moon to rotate faster around its axis, rather than blocking the Moon's display on the territory of Russia.

[ + 36 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82177
 29.05.2013
We are going to fly to Turkey for the first time with my daughter. My mom read somewhere that you need to glue the navel with a patch during the journey, which helps from nausea. For every case, I set up this daughter, say we glue the buds, everyone does it in front of the plane, and so on.
Her husband returns from work and she says to him:
“Daddy, do you know we’re going to stick the buttocks on the plane?
Why Why?
So have to! Whatever it breaks out!
“Nastia, what’s it going to take him out of that!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №82176
 29.05.2013
Why is the girl angry that the boys do a small need for a dishwasher?
2: You can’t get it yourself.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №82175
 29.05.2013
XXX is a blonde.
YYYYYYYYYYYY Like red
xxx: ) she pouches the broth in the thermos so that it does not cool, and puts it in the refrigerator so that it does not spoil.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №82174
 29.05.2013
The motto of the extremists: life must be lived so that before death it is painfully painful!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №82173
 29.05.2013
xxx: I lie a piece of gray-beige, in a small orange flower of marble with the inscriptions "Moscow-80" and "Olympiad-80". Is it vintage or is it old?

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