In our organization works a nice girl, engages in receipts, works with a large number of clients-banks, therefore you need to remember a lot of passwords/logins.
During the maintenance of the computer I find on the desktop a folder "Poroli".
It is exciting, you know...

Someone who works in support.
calls the customer (K) to those support (T)
Q: Hi I am your subscriber I have a problem with the internet, I don't work half the monitor
Q: You probably need to contact the computer/monitor service center.
Q: No, I’m your subscriber, I’m paying you money, and your internet is on the right side of the screen, and it doesn’t work with me and I can’t see what’s there like, fix me my monitor with your internet!
The company's policy does not allow you to send the subscriber out, the operator of those support tries to find out what is with the monitor, but the customer can not explain the fact.
I decided to send a specialist to help find out.
When the specialist arrived at the scene, he barely contained from laughing. It turned out that the shelf from the closet is ripped out on the table, and when the Client tries to lead the mouse to the right side of the monitor, the hand rests on the shelf and does not allow him to move his hand further and he can not get to the right side of the screen with the mouse cursor.

Status of the acquaintance: Chinese knives click on rice.

At 11:30 p.m., I teach my mom to work with Facebook, among my online friends - my uncle, her brother, the second year as a retired.
Look, you’re writing to him "Hello", now he’ll answer.
and AGA. So, how does he write here "how does it work?"
At this time, the voice is given by the grandmother, the mother of both, 84 years old.
Who is she with, Witch? Is he not sleeping yet?

We are always kids for them :)

I am in a terrible anal depression.
Why anal?
That kind of ass around.

I go with a friend in his car. Who misses us.
I - "Help, say thank you!"
he- "the car is new, I still don’t know where here thanks"

Our chiefs refuse to index our wages for 5 years, reasonably answering - " After all, the productivity of your work has not grown, why do you increase your salary?"
Following this logic, it is now absolutely obvious to me that during this time the nutrition of products in Russia has increased at least 2 times, and the capacity of a liter of gasoline - almost three times.

I met a guy here, so he has the most amazing imaginative profession: a manager of condoms and pads at the Red Cross.

and also those around them... how they are there... oh, people... walk fucks happy with life

From Twitter:

4-5 years ago, a woman often called us with the words: "Hello, this is the apartment of Alexeev? O_O

Someone else’s sorrow can still be endured, but here is someone else’s happiness.

A friend of mine, working in Finland. I was driving on my car on the track.
Limit of 70 km/h. Drive past the camera 72 km/h. The camera photographs him. He is in confusion. Photographs from +6 km / h. It turns out. It runs 68 km/h and is being photographed. Well the glue!! It turns out. He runs 40 km/h and is being photographed again. He thinks he has shut down the camera.
After a week came three fines for not attaching a belt)))

What is the difference between the Politburo of the CPC Central Committee and the current leadership of Russia?
The Politburo is dumb marasmatics, and the current leadership is young, energetic leaders.
Drunk marasmatics took the Victory Parade standing for several hours.
Young and energetic, watching the SIDA parade, only the pop-corn in their hands is lacking.

xxx: and I said to the employee that she was healed, although she really cried out simply, and she was offended)
Yyy: Girls are very upset about such comments.
Better to hear the fucking truth.
YYY: and think
YYY: and start doing something
XXX: I am talking about.
Well, the most important thing is that you say it gently and not at all.
But not for everyone...
YYY: Well then she’s bad, I’d definitely think about it.
yyy: although I always start to paranoid before I can say this.)))
YYY: Aaaah, I just started thinking about it myself.
YYY :D
Yyy: So if you can say something ?
XXX is hz. I find it hard to judge
XX: I have never seen you fat.

DiWen: The news that the Lada Granta came from Putin’s hand 5 times is still half a trouble... In this same news on the ramp:

It was previously that the new “Lada Granta” will be equipped with a braking stabilization system, safety pillows, electric beet lifts.

Well, what else can be added to the Russian car... Only beet lifts.

My wife, go to sleep.
T4ka: luck...yet a little bit...in the innet who is wrong! >_<
I want to sleep, I want to sleep!
T4: Everyone is running.
Misha :...
Tu4ka (clicks on the key)

Service message hidden administrator: "Attention, your computer will turn off in 1 minute. Reason: I told you to go to bed quickly!"

There is no connection. Pope says the problem is with us. We can prove nothing. I ordered from Siberia. Three days later the boy arrives.
You don’t have a puppy! There is no modem. I don’t know, I went.
Boy, are you upset? We are Yuri, we are here through the corporation.
I only know Poppy, let me go!
Boy, I’ve struck you myself twice, twice. Call yours and set it to work.

Apparently the promise worked and in half an hour everything worked.

After all, tomorrow at 7.22 I will give a salary... and there is a little bit of advance!

The Heroes 3.
Week of Boyarsky: increase of devils +1000

WOW> shit about pedals remembered.
On a bicycle in childhood you speed up, get up from the saddle on the pedal, so as to push all the weight faster.
WOW> and the foot from the pedal slips, so it hurts about the frame...
WOWA> has since been tormented by the question, what a fool invented what is great for men with a horizontal overlay, and the babs with two slopes.
WOW> should be the opposite!!! to