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XXX: The Blind
How many calories are in an apple and regular white bread?
The best answer:
I don't know how many colours are in an apple, but I'm having my birthday today and I'm sitting at a friend's house drunk. If something is wrong, forgive me.

Meeting of the Aitishnikovs, there is a discussion of special clothes. The head of the ITI says that we buy a red uniform, the question follows - and what fucking red if you come up in blue? In response, he said, there was no one in the start-up blue.

Few people know that a special powder, deadly for humans, is often used as a fire extinguisher. Therefore, you can see in theaters or any other buildings the board "Powder Care". It burned - so the powder in action, go. Do not enter a room where it is written. I don’t know what a fool invented the wording, but now you know.)

It is simply impossible to evaluate the 4th part of the Pirates, when you sit in the hall, a tense moment (the pirates are caught), a bunch of pirates on the shore with nets standing... and at this time, from different ends of the hall, they begin to scream "NOW!", "NOW! "NOW! "NOW! "NOW! "NOW! "NOW! "NOW! "NOW! "NOW! "NOW! "NOW! "NOW! "NOW! "NOW! "NOW! "NOW! "NOW!and "

Two young teachers discuss a senior colleague they once studied with themselves:

RRR: Today in the audience he smoked 8-9 cigarettes
Sss: At our exam, he also drank...out of his suitcase. and the tests we wrote like fools were sitting... and he didn't even check them... the fish was cleaned on them and the assessments were put out by check.
RRR: Now it is much more modest. However, in that year, he asked a student, "I told you how my grandmother took off?" Well, as I recorded, an old acquaintance, met in the transition under C. I went to her, and I have some Japanese condoms for their little pups. She sits red like a beetle. I cry of laughter, getting stuck in the news, group rjet

Linux: Windows is crazy, especially vista!!! to
VistaForever: I agree, it is a complete lie!

The employee (the only girl in the team), looking thoughtfully out the window, deeply thoughtfully says: "In taste and color, all comrades are different."

Damn, Microsoft breaks everything it can, and everything it can’t buy and then breaks!! to

- As in any job, there are its advantages and disadvantages... For example, you will have to do all kinds of unnecessities, soften different clients; there will be fat, scary, even disabled.
Hm, what are the disadvantages?

We are so often thrown away that we are constantly on the takeoff.

The acquaintance once got into the shutdown - gave the client ten thousand dollars, and he "forgot" to sign up for payment and said later that he did not receive any money at the time. The bank accepted the client’s side and demanded that the girl immediately repay the shortage. Such grandmothers she then never dreamed of - a minor single mother with a red diploma. The good administration of the bank went to meet her embarrassing grievances – gave the girl a loan for all this mind-blowing amount, not forgetting to add interest. What is called, hold in your hands and give it to the box office, and the payment then, for ten years. The next day, after the full repayment of the shortage, a guy in love with her approached the girl and handed her another $ 15,000. The black circles under his eyes were even brighter that day. As he explained, the difficult client managed to love a deal, waving the Criminal Code and a couple of pictures. And all this thanks to a new computer software that significantly increases the resolution of the images of the surveillance camera. On one of the blurry frames after the processing, it was clearly visible how the client pulls a pack of dollars from the stand, and on the next, this package was already hanging on the way to his pocket. The girl's happiness could not be described, her reputation in the bank was restored. But the long-term loan she did not think to repay – said it was compensation for moral damage.
The amount left in her hands was soon enough for a small two-bedroom apartment in an old foundation, with raised ceilings - judging by this striking fact, this story happened in the 99th or the 2000s. Years later it became clear that the wonderful computer program was called the little-known word photoshop at the time.

The leadership of the country should be entrusted to proctologists. It will also be done through the ass, but at least professionally.

Sergey: I also searched for symptoms of my illness on the Internet... so I have, it turns out, monthly (

His wife has a diploma in image processing.
The section "handmade way of creating anaglyphs" has been removed due to the "unscientific sound". It was necessary to write "a semi-automatic way to create anaglyphs using image processing tools"
And I thought that the joke about the influence of moonlight on the rails, or the scientific effect of dispersed non-monochromatic radiation in the range of low-intensity wavelengths on carbon marks of steel, is just a joke.

Your chest has fallen.
A small loss.

I recently had my hip biceps at the most inappropriate moment - during sex. I thought it was an orgasm :D

Dialogue by phone:

Hi, you can’t let go.
XHH: Where is my spirit?
See also: Home
Q: Where is my case?
See also: Home
Q: Where are you sleeping?
WOW...

Itil (10:03:20 7/06/2011)
How do you work in a port without a crust? No, I don’t think it’s impossible), but as you were taken, it’s important for everyone to have an employee’s education.

Fess (10:04:34 7/06/2011)
and especially good, experienced, courteous, diligent, demanding, uncompromising, strong, cheerful, smart, beautiful are taken without education

Fess (10:04:53 7/06/2011)
I am still the son of the director.

We sit in the dormitory. The woman asks to turn on the tea. I Include. True, a broken tea - has a certain bzik - is turned on for a minute or two, turns off and turns on again, a little bit of fun, bringing the water to boil. After the first turn off, the girl, surprised, asks:
Has the water already boiled?
No, it is how he works.
The tea is included.
For what?
I cried to a friend:
- Well, you understand that rainfall there all kinds of settlements, fat, in a word, the technology has it. Clean the water, etc.
The girl, knowing I’m a programmer, jokes:
Have you programmed yourself?
And I smile:
by Sam.
A friend speaks to a girl:
Do you go to bookstores?
I have been.
- Books "Programming for Tea Books " seen?
Well...
Well, here is from there)