bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №66155
 26.06.2012
Who will help persuade?
God will help.
Q: Can you help me?
You know how to cheat, sweet-talking devil

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №66154
 26.06.2012
My mother was a teacher in the kindergarten. I do not judge by hot. In addition, there are children who are constantly falling into all sorts of stories. I remember my mom told me: “One boy slid a iron cloth and clamp in the winter. While I was running for the hot water, there were five more".

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №66153
 26.06.2012
Anastasia
I work from 10 to 24.
Andrei
On coffee plantations?

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №66152
 26.06.2012
When you kiss a guy, Mom goes into the room:
Oh Anton, hello to you! And Anna told me so much about you!

I am actually smoke.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №66151
 26.06.2012
I bought fresh strawberries in a package. The packaging says ''Fresh cucumbers' but that’s not the main thing. There goes on: '' Composition: cucumbers'
Cap conquers the market.
Vauu: this is a smoothie, I once the pasta bought Chinese ''inside the package of the pasta, contain a one-use fork. The product is ready to be eaten - adding boiling, pasta to be''

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №66150
 26.06.2012
I am waiting for the girl, she is late. I am bored to watch the company at the next table. Two boys and a maiden. One guy tells them something enthusiastically, the virgin crown thinks, the other guy in the nirvana. The first notices that he is ignored, and the girl is offended like this:
You are not listening to me at all!
I listen, I listen. I listen to you very carefully. And Wadiq is also listening very carefully. Is it true, Vadik? The Vadik? Wa-a-adik to you! (Pushing the second elbow)
Wadiq: Oh yeah! What?! to
She was listening to you so carefully that she didn’t hear me at all.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №66149
 26.06.2012
Under the student:
You have solved the Apple task, this is what you will get now)))

Sounds threatening

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №66148
 26.06.2012
On Habra, discuss the news about a prison sentence for downloading pirated files in Japan:

I jumped, I listened, I went to jail. I listened and went to jail. The Romantic!
yyy: I wonder what the answer to the question will look like: “Why were you locked?”
About Justin Bieber...
TNT is divided!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №66147
 26.06.2012
Why do you not understand me?
Dar^sa: That is why, that is why.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №66146
 26.06.2012
XXX (10:53:33 26/06/2012)
Take me to your content.
XXX (10:53:42 26/06/2012)
I will make you a massage.
YYY (10:54:10 26/06/2012)
You made a lot of mistakes in the third word.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №66145
 26.06.2012
I had a drink with two beautiful lesbians.
Noah, and...
No shit, this is a sad story.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №66144
 26.06.2012
On the forum dedicated to how to inform loved ones about pregnancy:
XXX: I was like this:
XXX: Dad, I am pregnant! to
XXX: Wait, now I will turn the potatoes.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №66143
 26.06.2012
stik-zro: For me, one of the decisive arguments for switching to Linux was that it was possible to twist the volume more than the maximum on a hollow track.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №66142
 26.06.2012
I bought my wife an iPad. In a couple of months we are talking about a new phone. She says, “Now I have an iPad and I don’t need a cell phone with a bunch of features anymore.
iPhone is coming!

[ + 33 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №66141
 26.06.2012
Bloggers posted a video from the registrar, which shows how the DPS car passes the intersection on the red lighting signal. The response to the statement in the GIBDD about the violation struck everyone: according to the police version, "the video recorder used has the "effect of the 30th frame", and therefore it is impossible to determine what light the crew of the DPS travels through the intersection.

[ + 21 - ] [19 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №66140
 26.06.2012
Iceland is known for its penitentiary system being placed 3rd among 182 countries, behind only Belgium and Ireland, by Amnesty International. Thus, the most severe punishment in the country, provided for by the precedent 147.VZ (murder associated with bullying in a cruel form of three or more people) - defeat in the rights lasting 12 years, during which you can not leave the only correctional institution in the country, the village of Torsmann. However, as practice shows, in the history of the penitentiary system of Iceland no one has been more than 7 years, as they were released prematurely on the conditions stipulated by the legislation of the country. It is worth noting that there are no ordinary prisons in the country at all, they are replaced by the correctional commune of Torsmann, and the total number of prisoners does not exceed three dozen people, which account for two hundred people of staff.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №66139
 26.06.2012
Talking to Chat master'em, I understood that bots know how to beautifully confess in love.

BOT: It is great. The life. The flowers. The Spring. The summer. and autumn. The Winter. I love you.
I : What?
What I heard B@I!

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №66138
 26.06.2012
YYY: Well he’s strange at all. When I learned that I had a sting and I was 35 years old, he said, "And I just opened up a 35-year-old today.
XHH: phthalogenic acid, hule))
WOW: He really tried to smooth up the impression with words - but you look much better!
Gentlemen and gentlemen ?

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №66137
 26.06.2012
Gus, the lawyer
Is there a coach with a coach name?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №66136
 26.06.2012
I work in the international medical center as a translator, as usual - French, English. More often it is necessary to translate our "businessmen", who do not speak " in languages" narrowly. I waited a long time for it to happen and I waited!
At the appointment to the French doctor comes such, gold clocks, clothes, all things, sits down.
Doctor: - ç a well? “Good morning, how are you doing?”
Patient: No, I am a chubby.

The curtain.

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