I’m listening to BBC Radio One and now it’s a football championship. The leaders often discuss past matches, I try to listen to what they say, but football doesn’t interest me much. But something unexpected happened yesterday.
On the other day the English team won the match and the commentator shouted from joy "Yes!Yes!Yes!Yes!", as if he was being cut and raped at the same time. The recording hit the internet and for the last couple of days it is a Namber van joke in England. The leaders picked up the wave. At first they followed the record of the commentator’s screams, and now every couple of hours they turn on this record and parody it. And let’s not go about an elegant British accent, which can turn an ordinary word into a vague cacophony.
I always knew about the strange sense of humor of the English people. But!
Imagine a situation: British radio, subtle humor, good songs, direct inclusion from parliament, discussions of the latest news. And periodically with this all of intellectuality and high morality comes out terrible screams "Jaz! by Yuz! by Yuz! It is good!"

Teleportation is the new meaning of the word: Give money and we will disappear.

Domestic animals play a major role in the formation of good domestic compatibility.
A work colleague was irritated by the husband's socks scattered all over the house.
asked, persuaded, and then began to get angry all according to the classic scheme.

Then the cat intervened, she carefully covered her puppies in the pot several times with her husband's socks.

About "return to the past to fix everything". I like the movie "The Butterfly Effect". Who did not watch - there the main character learned to return to some moments of his life and do everything differently (in the end his life changed). And every time it turned out to be silly - then without hands will remain, then in jail will sit, then a friend in a psychic will be cared for, and a girlfriend will become a prostitute. A good film that answers the question "what would it be if it were done differently".

Maybe it’s a matter of different family traditions. Since childhood, the husband has used to keeping the peelings in the broth so that they do not cling to the shell, and the wife - that they do not hold, so that they do not scatter. Tradition is almost a conditional reflex, which is very difficult to survive, and when it is frankly harmful - it works on the machine. I heard the story of a couple where each other’s nerves were crushed, as the spouse A (I don’t remember which one on the floor) pressed the toothpaste in the middle, and the second wanted (for some reason in principle) to be carefully pressed out and bended from the tail.

Watt? even modern robots can change their behavior depending on external information and conditions, and here the man - the king understands nature and the intellectual peak of the hologram can not change their behavior and reactions for even a temporarily loved person?

///

Well, you have compared the top of an engineering genius and something glued out of shit and sticks by the tick method. In evolution, no fig was on the list of tasks to teach people to change their behavior on external requests.
Do you want me to tell you how to do it? All women gather (only in general all) and abruptly stop giving to all men who refuse to change their habits. Even if such a man is a beauty, athlete and millionaire. And they start giving to those who agree. Even if they are fat, scary or poor. and Voila. Several generations and natural selection, receiving a new criterion, will bring the population to the desired form.
Or now you choose the most brutal male and complain that he is not as caring and gentle as those little boys, with whom it was so convenient to be friends. by pf. It’s your choice, you take the consequences and don’t grieve.

Hillary vs. Trump
“You can’t trust a great country like the United States, a man like Trump,” Clinton said.
“It’s quite strange to hear this from a woman whose husband didn’t trust her even as little as his own member,” Trump said.

/// but not in a normal restaurant pelmeni in the form of soup is not served
Although you may not earn a normal sauce or cream.

Oh yeah yes! Eating in peelmen restaurants is a clear sign of a successful and wealthy person!

Let someone tell these meteorologists that from 27 degrees to 31 degrees and backwards it is not a series of warming / cooling, but fluctuations from "hot" to "pipets, what a heat".

Z is. Ladies and gentlemen, who now have +38, please do not worry, I do not claim that it is good for health and nothing special.

It rained. But then he could not withstand and ran away.

Definitely, the most amazing team I have ever seen in the history of the European Football Championships is the Danish national team at the CHE-92.
To start, it is probably worth it with the fact that they came to the first place purely by chance.
Yugoslavia, which won the selection, disintegrated, and three days before the start of UEFA, finally realized that a team like the national team of Yugoslavia simply no longer exists.
A wise decision was made - to close the hole formed by someone, and the role of "although who" was best suited to the team, which took the second place, after the south, in that selection group - the Danish.
The summer. The vacation. Danish footballers traveled to the beaches.
The captain of the national team, Olsen, who, it seems, at the time was slightly over 40, recalled later that he decided for himself that he would go to Sweden for the championship ("I can't tolerate the heat, I hate the beaches, a little running in the cold seemed to me a good idea"). He called the “collectors.” Many vacation plans have not changed.
The only superstar from Denmark, Mikael Laudrup, the ornament of Barcelona, for example, decided to continue rest.
It is characteristic that no one in Denmark has turned his tongue to "run" on him for something, a fool, not a patriot.
I didn’t go, okay. Not one he did not go, since the five players of the base also did not do anything.
Although some of the prominent in Europe guys still decided in the off-season a little "stricken." Like the goalkeeper of M.U. Schmeichel. Or Bavaria midfielder Poulsen, a guy very gambling and factory.
I really don’t know what bets were there on the victory of the Danish at the English bookmakers, but, as I think, they were hardly more likely than, for example, on the victory of the national team of Mongolia...
In fact - the oldest team in the history of the European Championships, acting in the second composition, collected (picked?) From bar to pine on all the beaches of the world.
They came and immediately went to play.
Drived in the first game in a draw with the always overrated favorites - the English, who were very pleased that instead of the most powerful on the continent at the time of the national team of Yugoslavia they got unknown Danes (the English sympathized - loss of points in the match with untrained and unmotivated outsiders).
They were delighted with the weak opponent of the hosts - the Swedes. The Swedes were strong then. “It’s strange that it’s only 0:1,” the press wrote.
They played the delighted French who had already seen themselves in the semi-finals ("It happened, don't pay attention" - as if apologizing, Poulsen explained to journalists).
However, they had to play at least one more game. "I was terribly angry at Schmeichel - I complained to journalists Poulsen - I could have missed more, and the guys would already go to rest, and here again the delay with the vacation."
The Dutch fans were happy because it was obvious that the game with the outsider was a true pass to the final.
But Schmeichel and his comrades again deceived those who went on vacation - the Danes defeated the absolute favourite of the penalty tournament.
The victory was celebrated by the whole of Germany. Because it was clear that in the final they simply have no opponent, and the game itself turns into an empty formality - you just have to go out on the field, and these unconditional Danish old girls swallow themselves.
But the Danish old women for some reason did not get off, quite decently played in this match (winning 2:0) and became the most unexpected champion of Europe in the history of the tournaments.
The coach of the national team of Denmark then said that this victory breaks the entire concept of training teams and the role of the coach. In fact – no tactics (“it just didn’t have time to develop”), physical training (“all lost shape during the holidays, nobody recovered”), playfulness (“when could we play? Many only saw each other on the field, not seeing each other for a few years." He said he apologized to colleagues at the workshop for the fact that now their fees will go down sharply, since it has now been experimentally proven that training is not necessary at all.
Well, the point was put by the same insatiable Poulsen: “What, training? “Let those who can’t play train.”

Realizing that the construction of high-quality roads in Russia is in principle impossible, the government decided to introduce teleportation by 2035.

Russians are increasingly looking in Yandex how to sell their organs.
This means that the Russians began to live better, and they had excess organs for sale.
(c) the

Address of the Central Office of the Russian Post:
- We have a logistics center here (pointing to the first floor) that loads something from somewhere and unclear where

<komar> > Having seen the fly moving through the window with discreet cracks, I realized that reality is lying.

A small store in a residential house. The cash from the morning is zero, but there are 2-3 thousand small notes, carefully left from the evening for delivery. What sanctions? How should the inspectors know when the screenshot was taken? And in the middle of the day, the owner came, took half of the box and wholesale for a little?
/////////////////////////////////

Accounting of received and issued funds.
Do you want to tell me about your work?
Understand, finally, that for any action with money there must be a paper.
Then the owner will tell you that he did not take anything and you will have to.

Federal Law of 22.05.2003 No. 54-FZ of 08.03.2015) "About application of check-cash equipment in the implementation of cash payments and (or) payments using payment cards"

I live with a girl. If I don’t do something (I don’t fix the same socket) she is constantly threatening to call a specialist to do everything. It scares me, and I fix everything right away. Probably once looked at a German porn-type - the sanitary will come. :)
And a joke for breakfast. Wife-husband: the rosette is sparkling, fix it. Am I an electrician? The door corrected. Am I a carpenter? And one night my husband comes and everything is fixed. He asks his wife – she says she invited the neighbor, he did everything. How was calculated? And he said, either sing, or let’s fuck. And you? Am I a singer?

Lubelia: It is a strange feeling.
When the dates of hot water shutdown coincide perfectly with the dates of departure / arrival :))

In the topic about the dual meanings of words and their perception by other people:

...it's like in the bus, lady I say, cautiously, you have the swens (the castle on the eyelid) broken up, it's red, let's let the coward, the cowards check...)))

The lady returned from a trip to Dhaka.
<D>: People, what a beautiful Moscow we have! How clean and beautiful she is! How few people we have! How good and not stinking!! What a wonderful electric!! to