Last week I stayed in one of the Palm Beach hotels and I was very lonely. I thought, and why not call one of those guys who are advertised in phone books with the signature “Escorts and Sensual Massage.”

I scrolled through a couple of pages and found a gentle Tony. He had huge muscles wherever they should be, thick curly hair, long powerful legs, a blinding smile and six cubicles of press. I think you presented a picture. And I thought, “Damn, I’ll call him!”

“Hello Mom, how can I help you?”

His voice was so sexy!

In order not to give myself a chance to get upset and throw the phone, I immediately "go to attack":

and hello! I’ve heard you’re doing a great massage, so I want to invite you to my room for one session. No, but I have to be honest with you. I am alone in this city and I want to make love. right now! Bring with you toys, rubber, leather, knots – everything you love...Bind me, field with chocolate syrup and crème, whatever you want, baby. How do you?

He said:

“Oh my God... it sounds fantastic, but to make a call on the outer line, you need to press the 9 button.

It was like this in our village. I was 15 years old, my father sent me to the loft, to bring a toolbox from there, in a minute I go down in horror and say that there is a pebble size of a 12-liter hole. At what the father says that it is a frog, takes a stick, and with the words "I will drive them away", he puts on a coat and climbs up. After a while, he descends down, the shells are in place, the father has one shell twice as much as the other, and the back of the neck is shattered. I think I managed easily.

Review of the product in the intimate toy store:

Too long delivery. The ass for which it was ordered.

A good husband is the guardian angel of a woman.

Here I look, everybody whispers over Loza, well, who said that Gagarin was just lying when he flew into space. And what was thrown on him, he was actually lying. I didn’t stand on the four, I didn’t dance, I didn’t sing. True, as you dance, even as you raise your hand, when the body of 600 kilograms weighs from overload. In fact, he was lying. Well, how it was lying, it was about like fighter pilots lying in their chairs, somehow half lying, half sitting. By the way, concerning the fact that Gagarin "did not sing", Loza missed a little. He sang (“The Motherland Hears, the Motherland Knows”), by the script, as Loza sang at concerts. The voice, indeed, is very drizzly, and how it will not be drizzly, if the rocket East on the takeoff 20 rounds of engines revote, pressure on the rocket more than 200 tons of traction, the vibration is such (well then did not repair yet!The head almost does not break.
But this is what Gagarin did nothing, in the sense that he did not highlight the figures of the highest pilot, it is true. So, carved in the notebook several times with a pencil (no more, by the way, and not carved, ball pencil then appeared, their Americans specifically invented for weightlessness). Well, Gagarin was lying, chewing something to check that the head was working in unheavy and after half an hour, and an hour of flight.
It was he who flew for an hour and a half, he didn’t have to find out that the insidious weightlessness after 4 hours on a person is thrown, and the head then doesn’t really feel himself and everything else. Hermann Titov first experienced this on his skin and head, and not least on his stomach. The vineyard and almost all of us, a small part could experience it after a good banquet in the morning, in a hug with the toilet. But in 10 minutes, we will get it all out, drink a salad and life is good again! And Tito only after a day became a little free! And so he blew all the time, and already the bile and the hell knows what! In a day! But this is interesting. Titov had to try the tests to answer and control the ship. Not always the automation works. And Titov, a professional fighter pilot, did it all! But Tereshkova, the sixth Soviet astronaut, failed. And after her trials to control the East of fuel, only a brake manoeuvre remained. And it wasn’t from her street, Tereshkova, she was taken, the parachutist-dispatcher, almost 100 jumps, and in the squad of cosmonauts hard and well prepared, and still with a parachute jumped, and on the stands, and in the plane everything went well. But it turns out that the unconscious aircraft can only be controlled by a professional pilot, who has these skills in the subconscious.
And so it’s still uncomfortable somehow, stretch out your hand, here’s the abyss. After all, this capsule for the red word was called, so, a ball with a diameter slightly greater than a human height. Three astronauts in the scavengers are no longer accommodated, only in the trainings. So, by the way, Volkov, Volunteer and Patsayev were flying, lying for several days in such a ball. When coming out of orbit, however, the valve did not open in time, the air all out of the capsule and whistled. And the astronauts did not have time to reach the tuber of this valve to close again. The Vostok ship entered the atmosphere and automatically landed on a parachute. The lock is opened by the rescuers, and the astronauts lie lying in their chairs. They no longer breathe. Even before they descended into the atmosphere, their blood boiled. Nitrogen, dissolved in the blood, with a sharp drop in pressure begins to turn into bubbles.
Well, Gagarin was lying all the time, doing nothing. But before that, he and another person 20 out of 5 thousand applicants were selected. How they trained, and how they trained. And the heat tortured, and the centrifuge gave more than 10G, and much more. Not all selected passed. One back went with bloody blisters, the vessels crashed, the other in general in the surdochamber burned alive. And how many of these young fighter pilots had to master the new in a short time! This is because if you are lucky, you do not have to do anything, and so at any time you have to be able to replace the automation. This is like the same Leonov (on whom Loza stumbled when he, the people's beloved Loza, called him "the fool") in the flight, and after the flight together with Belyaev had to bread. Leonov went out, you understand, into the open space, and gravity is still there! You lie on your own in a scapegoat, flying over the planet – beauty. But all these space flights were prepared in a terrible race with the Americans. Not everything went as I wanted. It is necessary to go back into the "ship" through the gateway, and it, by the way, is attached to the bulb of the ship, its diameter is slightly more than a meter. The tube is like this, with another luck. In general, Leonov wants his legs, as it should be, to climb into it, and the scapander does not rush! The legs are almost out of the boots, the feet are not straight there. Have you tried at least to remove the winter coat shoes and change the socks? You are funny, and Belyaev in the ship cold then licked. If in 20 minutes Leon is not in the ship, he must, according to the instructions of the gateway, together with his best friend Alesh to shoot and return to Earth alone. And all the shame to worry there. And shoot, as he would do with relief (pistols for astronauts, by the way, in flight was given, mostly just for the case of shooting in case of something). Yes, he swore to the Queen that he would not shoot, and the ship would return in this case. Specifically, this was secretly agreed with him.
Well, fortunately, Leonov headed forward into the gateway, blowing off half the scapander. I was able to turn in it. And what to do, where to press, press, the outer loop to close, the inner to open, until the nitrogen in the blood has boiled. And with the whites right next to bed! Do you think it ended well? As if not! The lock is not hermetically closed, it is urgently needed to land. The automatic orientation button is pressed, but the automation did not work. It is necessary to control everything manually, turn on and off all sorts of small slopes, move the ship forward precisely and turn on the engine to slow down and thus leave the orbit. And Belyaev can’t see anything, the ship is two-seat, the Illuminator Leonov closes. And Leonov sailed out a little (cannot lie down!), and directed the manoeuvre, and Belyaev opened and closed the tumblers. They managed to slow down, the ship did not twist, entered the atmosphere (there is also not everything as it should be), landed. And what do you think, the lounge was opened, and there are bouquets of flowers, the orchestra is meeting? This capsule, unlike an airplane, does not fly to the airport, but to where you are lucky. And here, because of the stumbling with the braking, it did not fall into the huge and flat, as a table, Kazakhstan steppe, but into the snowy taiga in the middle Ural. It is good that the ship did not get stuck in the branches of huge oils, but found itself on the bottom. Luke is opened - batyushks, minus thirty, from clothes - scafandras with clothes of the type "lower underwear", and Leonov also has 4 liters of sweat in the scafandra after exercises in the open space and the gate! The fire was burned (as taught), but around were wolves. They went back into the capsule, pulled a portion of the parachute there, somehow heated. The helicopters arrived quickly, throwing down warm clothes. She stuck on the branches of trees, did not reach the ground. Rescue workers reached the astronauts a day later, taking them 4 km away to the prepared site the next day. There were no losses in the rescue operation, except for the amputation of the frozen fingers of one of the rescuers.
Why am I so detailed. All the cosmonauts, and Gagarin too, had to master the skills of thousands of regular and non-standard situations in a short time of training. And think quickly to be able in unusual cases. And Belyaev and Leonov remained alive because they were heroes not by chance, but by strict selection, and thanks to stubborn training.
Back to Gagarin. As we said before, when the brake engine is automatically turned on, the capsule enters the atmosphere. Not smoothly and quietly, but at a speed of 7 and a half kilometers per second, this is 10 times the speed of an artillery projectile when it flies out of the stem. If Loza recalls class 8 physics, the kinetic energy is counted by the formula em we square by half. All this kinetic energy of the space capsule (although almost 5 tons) when braking about air can only be converted into heat. Brake for one and a half minutes. This is roughly the same as when a ship is simultaneously roasted by a hundred thousand of the most powerful electric plates. If you put them on the ground, you need a space of two football fields. In general, everything burns and turns into plasma. The first returned spacecraft were “smacked” with a layer similar in composition to a fire-resistant brick. The rocky layers of brick lubrication "blown up" and together with these particles took away heat. But the capsule still had time to heat up, and the temperature inside increased by degrees to 60-70, and the walls were not touched. By the way, when entering the atmosphere from the capsule, the unit with the engine and equipment is disconnected. This did not happen in Gagarin East as appropriate, the piropatroons did not work. It was only when the heated steel ribbons burned, that the capsule and the engine unit finally disconnected. Gagarin lay (weighing, by the way, 700 kilograms at the same time), and looked at the flashes behind the curtains of the illuminator. The astronauts were well prepared in theory. He knew that it might be if a heavy engine hit damaged the fragile lubrication of the capsule. We could see the result of this when a piece of ice weighing one or two kilograms struck the American shuttle Columbia when it took off. When descending from orbit, it soon turned into several bolids with fire tails, parallel to the sky. But Gagarin's "East" safely withstood entering the atmosphere and soon hanged on huge parachutes. In the illuminator, the Volga was visible, and in a few seconds Gagarin was no longer in the ship - a catapult shot him out of the capsule and here he is already sitting on the suspension of his own, human parachute. But the emergency intact stock broke away, and most importantly, along with it, the inflatable boat. Fortunately, the wind took him away from the Volga and he landed on the shore. Gagarin took off his helmet and was already walking (not lying or sitting). His mission, he thought, was over, he felt such inhuman fatigue that even his watch felt like a gyri. He removed them and threw them out.
But then almost all the short remaining life Gagarin for his country did, as they say now, the piar. Well, what to do, Russia has always been considered a country of people-eaters, say, they can’t come up with anything themselves, dark and smiling. And allies in the world are always needed, somehow the country fights less, and the people do not die. Well what I explain, now that they are covered from all sides, it’s clearer than ever. And if the flight into space any of the first six, and even the twenty, could perform no worse than Gagarin, then the subsequent mission, like Gagarin could perform no one. We all know his smile, right? He was able to be his and with the miners of Africa, and with the Queen of England. No one of the journalists was fooled, but as a result, all kinds of people climbed to him in pink cushions. He was his own for the Soviets. Because he lived (in the beginning, of course), like most. He was, of course, very stupid, very persistent. It is right for him - to finish high school well - and to the university, and so on. But he, by the way, like Tereshkova, was from a very simple family. Tereshkova generally left her mother alone with three children, her Finnish husband was still killed. After the war, many people lacked money for bread. Not figuratively, but literally: not for meat, not for fruits, not for seafood, but for bread. And Gagarin after the 6th grade (at the age of 15) left the house and entered the craft school. Such educational institutions were then called PTU for a long time. Milestones of further education - evening school, technical school, aeroclub, summer school, crew of cosmonauts. Tereshkova also, as soon as she finished seven years, went to work at a tyre factory. In the assembly and volcanization workshop, on the diagonal and cutting machine! No papers transferred to the institute somewhere closer to the mother-SNS. And in the workshops, where the rubber-burning smell, rumbling, is just dangerous. The hand can take off. Subsequent education - evening school, evening school, aeroclub, team of astronauts. When she began to receive a decent salary in the squad according to her then standards, most of it was sent to her mother, her brother had to be taken out of the people.
And all the astronauts publicly said that this was the success of the whole country. Well think yourself, in the war our fighters were wooden. Not because they could not construct from aluminum, as they could, aluminum was not enough. In order for it to be sufficient, it was still necessary to fence Yenesay in two places with dams of 120 and 250 meters in height, and to send electricity to the Krasnoyarsk aluminum plant. Just from the moment of complete destruction, from civilian, from zero, to the beginning of the war, 20 years have not passed. Our independent Russia has existed for a long time. From the end of the war to the flight of the first satellite only 12 years have passed! Most countries have not yet mastered this technology. Something that is difficult to repeat in Russia now! But still in numerous plants of the space profile still slugs-tocars worked, which schools of elimination of illiteracy attended. And nothing, the drawings understood, and how these wise details of what brand began with what permissions to clarify, too, everyone knew. Yes, engineers who, like in a fairy tale, came up with super-smart automation from evening to morning, which feels every detail with sensors-nerves, the equilibrium of the rocket at the start as a circus on the wire corrects, itself in the sky the necessary stars finds and the ship with accuracy in degrees orientates, although a short way passed, from school to university, too in childhood smart gadgets did not know. A good half of them were preparing for graduation exams at school with a petroleum lamp. Well, there was no year before 55-60 in villages and villages of electricity.
Therefore in vain Loza compared Gagarin's fame and fame with the Beatles. The Beatles only pirated themselves, and Gagarin was the country. And the glory of Gagarin was where it was. Most of all, he wanted to do his favorite business, go fishing, and be with his family. And pay attention, neither his wife, nor his daughters, nor in any talk show hang, nor in Soviet times in the presidiums did not turn. Valentina Gagarin married no longer so out, although the kind of good generals rattled. And in general, lead and behave themselves, wife and daughter (God give them health and happiness) as it was when? and modestly.
Neil Armstrong was the American astronaut who first walked on the moon. He also did a lot of deeds. One landing from the moon is worthwhile when the engine start tumble broke. There are no hundred on the moon. So I guessed to replace the cartridge! A few years later, he said, “It’s all. I don’t go anywhere, I don’t interview anyone. I live a private life.”
And Gagarin still achieved his job, returned to the profession. I started training, but as we all know, something happened in the sky of Moscow. Then, after all, there was a hitch from Soviet aircraft, right now on the ground from foreigners. And withdrawing the jet fighter MiG-15UTI from the peak, with a terrible, but such a familiar overload, Yuri Gagarin entered the ground. He went to immortality forever. I lie.

by PS. If someone wants to learn more about our cosmonautics in detail, then books, true and interesting, are few, but there are. I recommend Jaroslav Golovanov, the King. Facts and myths. It is read easily. And Boris Chertok (one of the Queen's orders), Rockets and people. Books 1, 2, 3 and 4. Probably not all of them.

As for vegetarianism.
Have you ever heard people say about a lack of mental abilities: stupid lion, stupid panther, well you are a gepard! No is? What about the cow, the sheep, the lamb? That is it!

> C: Then you guess. Two IDE drives are connected under one cable to the secondary IDE port, the system - at the end, the second - in the middle of the cable. There are no jumpers on the system, he is a slave. On the second - there is a jamper, he is a master. Five minutes ago everything worked, the system loaded from the slide. After moving to the 6th floor, the work stopped. Mystery: What happened?
>C: If you don’t guess, you put any of your photos on AVO, but without photoshop and effects. Just remember that I don’t know the answer ?

It seems that everything is quite simple - the slave was placed in the bios, in the loading priorities, judging by the IDE - the computer is old enough, the battery on the bios died - while it was connected to the network, the settings were preserved when dragged to the other floor - the bios dropped, the loading with the master went naturally )))
Please put your photo.)

XXX: I hate the idiots!! to

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY You must love yourself.

XXX is cool! No one in the world has done that! There are no analogues!

YYY: I am sure. No one in the world has done that shit.

Layk: In general, in recent times, social policy in this country is increasingly reminiscent of the principle of "homeless people are fed hungry".

Hicks, about the Rorschach test.

>Here people have almost all associations with blacks for some reason.

Probably this is due to the fact that black spots and blacks coincide in color.

How do you feel about alcohol?
Tremendously...

of the Habr.
It is increasingly popular with the idea that it is better to have insidious villains in the government than implacable fools.

I was training a cat. How about training? I just decided to stop eating out of business. He begins to feed, I’m "CYC", he gets stuck. I immediately praise him and in reward for silencing, a piece of sausage. After a while, I eat again, tick, give a snack. And recently used to feed very often, whisper, get a piece, in a minute again "drink", and so many times. She watched, watched and said:
I don’t know who trains who.
I am not training anymore.

I was looking for tablets in my pocket now, placed on the table interfering patches and a lonely condom. A colleague looked at this set for a long time, and then with doubts in the voice clarified:
Do you think it will help if it breaks?

by Habr
Recent news about implemented and implemented achievements, give a more and more strong feeling that we have long been living in the future.
YYY: According to the law of preservation, if the future comes somewhere, the past comes somewhere. And I even know where.

Conversation with my wife:
Why have you been so suspicious lately?
I am, I am choking?
- Yes
Hm... strange...

Throw a web developer on a web-man, got into a web-mord.

>>>>
xxx: I came to the store today to look for a swimsuit, and I am saying "no more, there will be no swimsuits, here are the boots we are going to bring mud"))
>>>>

Is it Saloon? Only there in one “trade hall” of 6 square meters.
Skin, honey, shit and nails
Clocks, clocks and bullets.

Although, I remember, they were specifically travelling through rural shops and bought real Italian Martini there. Ruby 8 and EMNP. With that label, a high print, like a engraving. Or the dollar. There is no such thing for any money (Oh, yes! And Cuban cigars in aluminium cartridges "Romeo and Juliet" 80 kopecks And rum Havana Club.
by Fuck! Do you fuck!

xxx: The group I studied in was nicknamed the disaster group.

One day, a prisma disappeared from the lab. It is made of optical glass and is quite healthy. Who needs it, you ask? It turned out to be very simple: one madmuazel did a lab about determining the fracturing factor, counting 2.41. I looked at the sign – a finger! and diamond. Life succeeded" decided the girl, put the sample in the bag and ran out. Neither the weight of the sample (a half pound) nor the shape of the fence (a triangular prisma) brought doubt into the soul of the billionaire. Since then, there has been a saying: "The best friends of the fool is the K8 optical glass."