About the cared for: I remembered how five years ago I was in visits with friends of my parents, and there was one of their acquaintances with her grandson. I saw how I helped in the kitchen, looked and looked, and said: Oh, how you cut potatoes large... and there is no nail lacquer... you know, until you learn to cut small and paint nails, you do not get acquainted with my Oleg, he needs a household and cared for. I have five copies of eyes, I say, and why is your boy so good? He says he is kind and earns up to 30 thousand, and loves children. My husband, I say, is also kind and kids in plans, and earns as much as I am - 90. Well, the mother-in-law is gold, it does not interfere in our lives, and I do both of them. As a result, I am a shallow, once the engagement ring removed while cooking, and it is good that some unfortunate such a yoke collapsed, and in general he will soon throw me because of unpainted nails, and then that I would not roll to Oleghenko. It is a pity the boy...

Dialogue with colleagues on budget deficit:

XXX is:
Soon, fucking, I will give to the rich Moscovites for food.

YYY :
Listen if I am with you.

YYY :
I can do it for free ?

XXX is:
by Gygogg. Agreed

XXX is:
No to. and not. You are dumping.

XXX is:
Give me food too.

“Suffering is beneficial,” says the church. We Russians are very lucky in this regard.

A woman goes to our clinic every spring and summer. Every time she brings cats, all new and new. The cat treats, distributes and comes back next year. For a year exactly 1 time, but a package of 5-7 babies, sometimes even of different ages.
But no, she is not one of those in whom the cat experiences the "pleasure" of motherhood every year. And not from those who go specifically pick up cats. And not those who have a lot of rough tails in the apartment. She just got a cat. And his name is so... speaking – Masai.

At first, the cat brought his cats home. I walked somewhere and brought it. As spring comes to an end, so it begins. Always wear black, like him, as if others hadn’t done it. Per the strangers stole, so that only the blacks would be, who will find out there. When he brought all (one a day, say, the hostess was, exactly, and plus-minus one - who will notice) and made a break for a few days, the kittens gathered in a large box and went to the clinic. To treat – to vaccinate – to distribute. If the cat is interrupted, it means that everyone he wanted has already pulled.

The hostess was tired. One day on a rainy autumn day, Mazai came for castration. Everyone was happy in spring. Until the end of May. At the end of May, a poor woman rushed to the clinic and put a box with cats on the table, tired of saying, “You imagine, this caterpillar of foreign cats is now dragging! Now they are different!”
Healed and distributed. One, white, the woman left for herself. She named Gerasim, castrated and the next spring the cats went to the country together. People could not take Mazai with them, as they went forever, until the winter, but hoped that Gerasim would cool his dust.

Here is the end of spring. Every morning the housewife looks out the window anxiously to see if there is a cat on the doorstep. There were no cats. In the summer too. The cats played peacefully in the courtyard, occupied exclusively with each other.
In September, the woman came to me in tears, while hysterically chicky. Her husband is behind her, in his arms.
“You can imagine, I’m looking out the window, and these two fools under the fence are pulling something into the area, and even so! They are breaking! And friendlyly weave to the door something dirty in the ground, both of us. And it disappears. I jump out on the doorstep, chase the fools, and there is a puppy! Twice as many as both of them together! Here...” and they stretch me a hairy baby, a month and a half from the family.

The child is grown. In his 10-11 months he already weighs 40 kg. And Mazai and Gerasim were in shock at being dragged home, while they sat quietly like mice and did not leave the site.
Waiting for the end of summer and autumn.

Until the girls first start bringing me to the bar to drink at their own expense and then divorce me for sex at home, while making constant compliments to my, for example, legs, there can be no gender equality. I’m sorry, it’s overwhelmed...

Do not read the exhibits about Nietzsche and Freud at the same time.
Or you dream of a false Zarathustra.

And half of the people cannot correctly answer the question "Who wrote the Polonese of Oginsky?", what is there.
– – – – –
Wikipedia says that Oginsky wrote it. Is it true? The Hundred Years War, which lasted 116 years.

I am allergic to something that is now blooming. The tears flow constantly.
We look at mixers in the store today. After a long choice, I decided to ask the seller questions. He responds, I listen and machine-wipe my tears.
The seller: Don’t cry! If you liked the crane so much, but it is too expensive, the company can make an additional discount!

At the wedding tamada decided to fight with sports competitions (t.k. A significant part of the guests to the sport one or another relationship had). The competitions "who will jump higher and further" went well, on the hands also fought with pleasure as well as with the girls on the wrist to run. Just in the company of volleyball players with the footballers were two boxers and a fencing player, so after the competitions "who will be more pressed" and "who will sit more" tamade really wanted to knock on the drum. Scalocross with its "raises" just sent...

Buek: When the inventor of the usb port dies, his tomb will first be lowered into the pit, then raised, overturned, and then again lowered on the right side.

banshik: The inventor of the com-port may have a similar problem, only the tomb is broken by the bearded, half-drunken burials and then pushed by the side that was first spit...

The Iron Logic.
==== is
I decided to work on Friday, my husband will be late, my grandmother's children - what would I not do? I stumbled upon a lamp that does not have a base, and there is a fixture. Let me, I think, attach it to the table, well drill under the hand. I got, put on the charging, a hammer hit my eyes, remembered that I needed to hit a couple of nails. I killed. I went to the kitchen to turn the bath. I stand. In one hand a hammer, in the other a meat stick... Attention question - am I exactly a girl?))))))))))
==== is
I washed my dishes and my breasts didn’t grow. He threw his clothes into the washing machine, washed and smooked the shirt, nothing fell and the menstrual period did not start. I made a lasagna and wasn’t pregnant. Am I really a man?

Once upon a time, the professor of philosophy told us, “Physics, of course, gives us a concept of the world, of how it works, and philosophy helps us to understand what is happening in general, to look for it.”

Embrace my mom!

My mom always burned up. I’m going to somewhere in the countryside store for bread, and by bicycle, so that it’s faster. Mom is worried, and when she sees me wearing headphones, she begins to persuade me to take them off.
I: Why do I film them, without them it is boring!
On the road, horses are running.
So, ladies and gentlemen, beware on the road not of cars and motorcycles, but of horses running.
and----
There are cases when the dead, because of the clutches in their ears, did not even hear the clutches and the noise of the approaching train, but died with music. Take care of yourself! Sorry for the sad...

to the names.

Listened on radio 1.06.15 (says the child, the question - you know who is Pushkin?)

And I have a cat, Pushkin. I come and ask, “Well, Pushkin, are you writing poetry?” And he is scratching..."

pimples, baldness, erectile dysfunction, radiculitis, obliterating endarteritis...
____________________

and pile. I am glad I am not married.)

by *****
That’s not why my mom has grown that gold.

From advertisements on the sale of the car: "If the distance is large, I can twist." )

A new multi-storey building was built in the city. The firefighters arrived to connect. They cooked everything, let go of gas. There is no gas in the house. We checked all the valves, connections, shutters - everything is fine, but there is no gas. We decided that the problem was at the site of the crash, excavated, checked - there are no problems, but there is no gas.
As a result, it turned out that during the installation of the foundation, a piece of the pipe fell into the boiler, did not remove the steel, was sinked. I got the gas and connected...

Tavashushmat, why do you have ALL the topics here - from gay people to codecs in the office - in some way leading to pregnant women?? to

You are a Fascist and a Benderman! I know the whole synagogue is like that.

>>> Initially, Jupiter was an ancient Roman god. Nevertheless, when mentioning this word, people, other than those who went on the ancient Roman mythology, imagine a planet. So don’t confuse education with obsession.

Raise the hands of those in whose imagination the motorcycle of Jupiter flooded.