In order to call the police in the U.S. you need to call 911; in Russia 02; and in Belarus to knock in the palms... straight like in a fairy tale!!! to

<Dior> Well, why every time you go on vacation you are asked "Oh, and who will work for you?And when you get to work, nobody will ask "Oh, and who will rest for you?and "

I am in the subway, a man stands next to me. He raises his hand and looks at the sweat underarm. Then he says loudly: "Fuck Old Space!!and "
Concretely annoyed...
The whole public was stunned.

While his father was not home, he decided to take a second car and go ride. I’m out, I’m young, let’s meet. I've been by a few cars and I see that I'm overtaking my dad in the traffic :(
I called and told me to get stuck.

Beauty is a terrible force, especially when combined with a clever ass!

xxx: my husband is not in a bucket, not even walking a couple of quarters, not in the car, to force(((( And sex he prefers any snack from the refrigerator. He weighs more than 100 kg.
During sex, you can stop and say you are tired.
yyy: If during sex he gets tired, then you need to change the posture to the "woman on top" - let it lie-relax, the sandwich which chews)))))))

For some reason, the thread with which new socks are connected is always stronger than the thread with which the socks are made (

I bought new computers in the office.
One of the managers: Look how good!
Siddhartha is not! It is evil!

Yes, he is very, very often swallowing like a horse on a water drink, smoking, not sleeping for a couple of days, all sorts of guides, but not eating a vitamin from the morning - you are what!!!! That is health ?
YYY: O_o

We have been waiting for so long :)

"<...I woke up in some trousers on Tuapse Beach, which was very surprised. I found no money, no documents, no friends. After long unsuccessful searches for at least one familiar face, good people fainted... again a gap in memory and a miracle!!! The mountains are...>"

"Hurricane destroyed camp Seliger-2011"

"On the MKAD a traffic jamming was formed due to the scattered thousand ruble notes."

Hi Voland!and :)

I don’t understand how you confuse cats with cats. Every cat has an inscription on its mouth that it is a cowboy.

How many different ways have been invented to get to know through the network, but I have never met one. There are 2 Wi-Fi points in our house (not my one included). They were called dry dlink. And what do you think I’m checking the network list one day to connect the phone, and there’s one point called “TTpuBeT.” All would be nothing, but the second strangely changed its name to "u Te6e TTpuBeT". It all led to a kind of correspondence, which ended with a meeting at the entrance. Okay though it was a guy with a girl, not say a guy with a guy=) They live soul to soul to word.

...
P.S Is there a generation that has grown up and doesn’t remember papers?

I don't know how you, in Moscow, and we, in Russia, paper dozen very even in progress.

How to quickly defend a dissertation?
- In Word, choose Service -> Protect the document :-)

How beautiful it is to say: instead of “I fucking lay on what you think” say “I extrapolated your penis on a lot of your decisions”

by JJ

I am in shock...
I go now, I look - near the entrance the neighbor's cat in hysteria: "good people, let's drink, let's take care, want to sleep nowhere!". I regretted, launched the entrance, knocked on the door of the neighbors... Naturally, they do not open - because the day, and everyone is at work. went home.
I go back. In one hand the table, in the other the keys. And then this red face with a fighting beak is jumping, and trying to take my money out!
The cat is a goiter. I have lived... (c)

from news

“Killed” resident of Sverdlovsk region escaped from the grave

Room with news

Stephen King smokes from fear while reading news from Russia

Most importantly, health should be taken care of itself.
by Yuri Tatarkin

Respect those who are near you.

I read here the story for last Saturday about a motorcycle that went into the river.
On this occasion, I remembered the story of a neighbor in the house of uncle Gena, now a retired, and in the mid-1990s - a mechanic of a suburban electric car.

At one of the stops, two drunken young men aged 18 enter the first wagon. They don’t come alone with motorcycles. For a while, drinking beer, pretending, like no one is disturbed. When they had finished their beer and talk topics, they came up with a new entertainment.
They began to be "measured by pipes" - they took their motorcycles, gas, find out who the motor is louder. A full car of smoke, a few passengers in the evening passed into the neighboring car. Even in the cabin of the locomotive brigade was no breath. The assistant engineer, a guy not much older than these "shumahers", goes out to the tamper.
You guys, you motorcycles are silent, you are not alone here.
Are you CHO? The main thing was found? Your job is to press the levers and
announce stops, so go and work, do not prevent the boys from resting!
I will call the police now, you will sit for fifteen days.
The hooliganism.
- Go, call at least three times, we are still at the next stop.
We go out, these goats will not even have time to get in the car, and we are on our own.
"Delta" will be in the neighboring village, we have cylinders of 80 cubes.
Do you hear how they scream? {hereafter follows the rush of the gas pipe and the cloud of edible smoke
From the exhaust pipe.

The assistant completed this unconstructive dialogue and returned to the cabin, passing the conversation to the machinery.
- Uncle Gen, there was somewhere under the instrument panel a chain rolling, might force.
to apply?
The Ophigel? They may not be eighteen, now you can break the skull without knowing.
After 10 years you will get a strangle. You said they are next.
Gathered out? And what we argue about, not going out, but going out, they will.
They will use their own power against themselves.

At the station the train was stopped so that the front door of the first wagon
He drove 10 meters beyond the platform. The story is silent, which was what the mechanic and the assistant fought, but Uncle Gene was right.
Doors are opened. The sound of the engines in the style of "before rejecting the gas pen". And two decently drunken "bodies" not noticing the absence of a platform in the dark, frightening all the frogs, together with their motorcycles fly into the mud. Motorcycles, pumping water, swallow, the disturbances of calm kneeling in the chopsticks, in the silence that has emerged, an untranslatable Russian folklore is heard:
– B... you che, s... X... P... E... YES!!! I will call the mentions,
You will be paying for my motorcycle and new jeans all your life!
Come and call! I have a locomotive with empty wagons 120 pulls. You are so far
You will be able to find your phone in the nearest village.
was not, and would not survive in the water), as long as the police sit in the car, I
I will be in my electric car 200 kilometers from here.

British scientists have found that chocolate boosts mood.
They probably haven’t tried vodka yet.