bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №18601
 28.07.2009
I bought a netbook today. The cleavage, oh The only disadvantage is that there is no DVD drive. And what do you think the manufacturers have placed drivers, utilities and manuals on?

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №18600
 28.07.2009
I wonder if it is possible for me, as a doctor, to forcibly examine GASHNIK and go for sexually transmitted diseases, especially dangerous infections and send in quarantine for a day for 40. And then apologize and say that the problem was with the same family.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №18599
 28.07.2009
by Alexeeva:
Such horrors dream that it is time to take popcorn to bed with you.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №18598
 28.07.2009
Q: Do you not get lost? You have only been with me once.
ууу: No, I played the doom in my childhood, and since I did not know which button to press to see the map, I had to remember it. I have a good memory of the area since then.
o o o o o o

[ + 114 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №18597
 28.07.2009
Fuck, how loud should I suck and bite so that the pen can’t be pulled?? to

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №18596
 28.07.2009
God, do as I should, not as I want.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №18595
 28.07.2009
How to become yours in any company is a gift.

History of Israel. It is told by a person worthy of trust.
In Israeli intelligence - Mossad, one of the examinations for applicants is a task, which requires extraordinary cleverness, self-control and greed.
Someone A. from the leadership was given the task - to "inside" and become his own in the board in the "Russian company" (i.e. the company of outsiders from Russia).
Having gotten such a “flute,” A. thought. He had no Russian roots, he did not know Russian. After serving in the army he remembered that the Russian guys are good, but to become his among them? No, he won’t drink so much.
The entire operation was reduced by the management. But A. did not go to the exploration in vain. Within a few days, the operation was planned and implemented.
For several days he visited one of the Tel Aviv pubs in the evening, where Russians loved to gather. Watched the public.
One day, A. came, as usual, noticed a company of three Russian boys who drank peacefully and did not touch anyone. After sitting down and drinking a few "shoots" A. got stuck with one of the Russians. Word for word,
X@em on the table, after some mutual messages A. was asked to drop, because the puzzles are not behind the mountains. But A. was not afraid and offered the guys to go out and see who of them was a man. The show has already been seen by a man 8, because such a circus is not every day.
It must be said that for an intelligence (and not an operative) physical power is not a necessity. Of course, A. was able to do the first round and stood on his feet, after which the fight began to flow smoothly into a frank urethra.
At this moment, two police cars were quietly rattled and the heated dragons were bound.
The monkey found out two things - that A. was practically sober, and
"Russian", according to Israeli standards - drunk (they don't know that our man a liter for three is the norm). After that, the investigators came to the Russians and announced that from the point of view of the police, everything was clear, like a good day: three drunk Russians killed a poor aboriginal.
In vain the guys said that "he was the first to start" and showed blueprints and scratches. The officers only smiled in response.
She began to paint unpleasantly. The guys were generally adequate, all the family, good work. A appears on stage.
As well as everything in white.
Yes, he honestly confessed, drank a liqueur, went on. He was not polite.
I invited the guys to walk around the corner. No, there was no beating, clarification of the relationship and only. What kind of battle, boss?? to
The feeling, more similar to orgasm, encompassed guys who had already seen themselves behind bars, pale wives and crying children.
The investigator stumbled, slowly scratched the tail and asked the "Russian" if they would file a complaint?
The complaint? What a complaint? For what?and.
Everyone was released by morning.
When they were released, the former enemies shrugged each other’s hands.
A. was announced that he was a man, a clumsy boy, and more would be like that.
He was also invited to a banquet, a birthday party and a continuation of the banquet anywhere and at any time. And the other and the other.
A week later, A. appeared in the same bar. I found my new friends. There he was taken, aka hero. He was not alone, but with a girl in his hand. Her name was Olya.
The task of the party was fulfilled.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №18594
 28.07.2009
I bought a cat for $1,000. He barely survived the night.
Allergy and frog.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №18593
 28.07.2009
Today I’m walking around the city, going to the street, and there is a crowd of hoops.
So, they surround me, and the chief copper, stretching out a paper to me, says:
Take the advertisement!

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №18592
 28.07.2009
People, let’s put a slide on the audionarkotics "sleep out" and "I want to work". It is hopeful! 111

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №18591
 28.07.2009
Blonde looking for club music on the internet

xxx: I wanted to search for images in Google, well club cuddle, and there is a bunch of cartoons with some unbarred grandfather with a stick, don't you know what?? to

A. the ZLet me guess. Have you searched for "house"?

HH: How do you know?? to

A. the Z: :D
   

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №18590
 28.07.2009
A blonde woman calls and says:
I broke the wheel. What should I do?
Is the wheel completely down?
Not just from below.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №18589
 28.07.2009
“Onotole, you won’t believe when you went on vacation to Tunisia, I missed it unreally, just like a wolf. Then on the 25th we somehow fucked your cat and the time before the arrival went much faster...
and!

[ + 77 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №18588
 28.07.2009
Search in Google "first мах" (speed of sound)

You may have meant the first

I touched...

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №18587
 28.07.2009
Valet2: Once upon a time, there were students standing in the hallways of the academy, shaking before the exams. We decided to remember all the bad signs and go popping them.

There are idiots walking on the floors: two carry a glass that is about to be broken, one with empty vedders shatters, one dissolves salt.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №18586
 27.07.2009
The Author:

The first thing that came to mind this morning:
Fly over me flying flies, sit on their heels, bite their ears.How I want to get out of under the blankets and give this flies at least once on the @ball.And here are two flies in the window flying, washed blades quite ohu@li, I will take the newspaper "protection of nature" and I will fuck you dumb wounds...)"

And it can be so, only bloody, tough, in the style of action - about mosquitoes?!))

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №18585
 27.07.2009
We play with a small (10 years) in words, the husband falls out to name the word on "O". It was hot and he thought about something... The son says:
This is the most pleasant moment in a man’s life!
We pull out the rows, a couple of seconds we look at each other, then we start to sneeze stupidly, the husband still gives out something innocent, like a deer, I carefully ask my son:
I am ashamed to ask, what did you mean?
And here the untouched child’s brain gives out: A vacation!!! What are you doing like an unusual?

[ + 113 - ] Comment quote №18584
 27.07.2009
In the tram he heard the toughest phrase in his life. There was a crowd of people, the grandmother came to the stop and said: every day so many people will die, and in the trams still crowds.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №18583
 27.07.2009
messalina: so here) you know there is our animal feed - an alternative to viscacu - gun there, chamomile, vaska and so on.
Theme: Aaga
Messalina: I have a chuvich at work - Vladimirovna, an elderly woman, who works in the bread department. And around it is a stand with all these foods. But she has no relationship to him and knows nothing there - we have other girls there exhibiting products.
A man approaches her as he asks.
messalina: "Woman, you can't tell me, is the wax still in the refrigerator for a long time after opening?"
Messalina: Poor Vladimirovna

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №18582
 27.07.2009
Evetazer: I stood yesterday at home, waited for a girl to come down and watched an interesting picture: I was a little, three or four years old, with my mother on the left side of the parked cars, their order was approximately this: a foreigner, a foreigner, our, a foreigner... The child:"...a car, a car, a tractor, a car..."Truth by the mouth of a baby =)

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