Once upon a time there were libraries.

Visited a friend in the hospital. I sat next to the bed, thinking about politicians talking, and he let me complain that the subordinates at work do not like him and this is still gently said, although he tries, but he hasn’t rushed. And in this spirit bla, bla, bla. And he has a smartphone on the laptop and messages are sinking straight there. I tell him:
How do they not like. They went out, watch, threw your phone with funny stories and anecdotes.
The friend:
I wrote them that the doctor, so that the seams did not break, forbade me from laughing.

"These lodiers are quite overwhelmed - they don't want to work after the 60s, but to get a pension for the hole. I’m 70 years old, but I’m working. - told reporters the deputy of the State Duma with a salary of 800 tyres, coming out of his job in the early morning of Thursday and sitting on the back seat of his official Mercedes with a flashlight to drive without traffic jams to his facade. The guard respectfully held a umbrella over him, protecting the precious health of the deputy from the element.

Aforism is a philosophical treatise from which water has been pressed.

I decided here to get rid of the neighbor with a drill and wrote on the wall between the floors: "Gena, I'm pregnant" (his name is Genoa), now it doesn't drill, but it would be better to drill because his wife drills the second day so that the perforator is flowers! and. and.

No team will be able to send the Russian national team home.

As a child, when there were strong frosts, on the way to music school found a frozen vortex.

I’ve heard that fish can live up even if they’re frozen in the ice.



He stuck the bird in the backpack, went with him to school, came home and put it on the battery to unfreeze.

I tried to revive him for two days until my mother began to look for the source of the smell.

Then I decided to become a doctor.

I take a passenger home.

Can I congratulate you?

P: It is too early. Preservation for now. A little worried.

I: It will be okay. The boy will grow, will wear - you will not catch!

P is 😉 thank you! I still worry, even though I already have six children.

I: This is yes! All from one woman?

P: No...

I: Of the two? ...

Q: No...

I am:... of three? ......

A: No... No...

They write about their fathers.

I’m lucky with my father. very very. He was strict, he was little spoken, he was even harsh. I was the sixth child, the youngest son. It turned out to be the most favorite.

It all became clear later, many years later, as a father did not become. Coming to my mom, snacking my mom’s cakes, drinking tea with blenders, my mom and I often sat talking, remembering all sorts of ancient stories. So began to reveal some interesting moments... there were many of them, I will tell about two.

The first case.

Immediately after school, in order to become independent faster, and not to burden my parents, I decided to enter a military school. Decided and done. became a sergeant. The salary of a student is 5 rubles, the salary of a sergeant is 7. You need to buy seams, pencil, notebook, paste, shorter soap and writing and teaching. There were hardly any cakes and drinks.

Mom once apologized: I apologize for not being able to help you during your studies, not sending money, not sending packages.

I say, how did they not send? I received 10 rubles each month.

My father was a teacher. It turned out that he managed to send me money from his salary for 4 years.

The second case.

I collected old photos and letters with my mother. Here is a postcard from you for March 8. Indeed, from me, on March 8th, only without the marks and handwriting of my father...

He loved his mother too...

My future wife and I went on holiday in the south by train. And we got a companion: a woman of 45 years old. What is strange, the upper shelf is empty (June, time for holidays and busy trains). And in this composition for 2 days.

I have an ordinary set of entertainment on my way: a book-music-eat-sleep. My girlfriend added to this another conversation with this woman. And they said a lot. They had very interesting conversations when I was out. Because when he returned - the companion immediately silenced and looked dissatisfied, saying, 'what so fast! '



She had to go out in Gelsenkirchen, and we had to go to the end. He helped her out, took her luggage carefully, wished her a good rest. Then they told me what this woman was talking about all that time.



It turns out she has a son. A little younger than me. My girlfriend looked at her. And convinced her to leave me and start dating a normal guy. He had an education bought economic, his mother bought him one, and with the girls he did not walk - his innocence was preserved. Even the photo showed. I am, in her opinion, an unreliable person, kind of a bandit and it is unknown who my ancestors have. Suddenly Vlad Zepesh! But my, because of my upbringing and female norms of behavior, could not immediately send this advantageous offer to the youth and endured it all the way.



This is how you go with a man for 2 days, eat at the same table - and he mixes you with dirt.

They only fly low.

"RJUNY'S DISCIPLINACY, THIS DISCIPLINACY, THIS DISCIPLINACY, THIS DISCIPLINACY, THIS DISCIPLINACY, THIS DISCIPLINACY, THIS DISCIPLINACY, THIS DISCIPLINACY, THIS DISCIPLINACY, THIS DISCIPLINACY, THIS DISCIPLINACY, THIS DISCIPLINACY, THIS DISCIPLINACY, THIS DISCIPLINACY, THIS DISCIPLINACY, THIS DISCIPLINACY, THIS DISCIPLINACY, THIS DISCIPLINACY, THIS DISCIPLINACY, THIS DIS In general- foolish.And all this "ruins" one nurse.Yes,a small sketch of the plan of the reception room-a large iron-glass door(I remember in the yard in the early 90s),the table to the right of the entrance,the catwalk in front of the entrance,a little sloppy double wooden doors,there are already cabinets and chambers.From the door to the door almost five meters.So- in the middle of the morning"beddlem" with PINKA opened both doors of the wooden inner door (one doors even knocked on the catwalk with the screaming grandmother) and appears with your hands behind the back (he carries a carrier with a body), therefore,the same doors, covered by a simple, soaked from the hand hanging under ...Al I would not have been singing this OR...But the apophysis is that they are singing...If I am sick, I will not go to the doctors... (there was such a song).P.S.As long as they went from the inner door to the outside (about five meters), only the nurse remained in the reception room,and that,because the table prevented them from escaping...P.P.S.The doll escaped the first...And you say-Kashpirovsky,Chumak...Be healthy ;-)

If a company is looking for employees and positioning itself as a “family,” it means that instead of paying, they are going to fuck.

After my divorce from my wife, I did not want to go into this cabal again. But the casual connections with time are tired. I wanted a housewife in the house.

Because of time limitations, I decided to rely on dating hostels. In the questionnaire indicated that for a serious relationship.

There were not a few interested, but most of them were not very adequate personalities, or the level of communication did not correspond to mine.

After a while, a girl wrote to me. In appearance quite nice, 30 years old, no children, worked in the city theater. And for communication, she was quite adequate, and most importantly erudite and diverse. She caught me and I offered to meet. She did not refuse the meeting, but all the time there was an inappropriate moment, then she was delayed at work, then she needed to go to her parents, in general, it was about a week. I already decided that maybe I wasn’t interested in her, so I decided to do it. She called and offered to meet. As it happened, it was that day I had to stay at work - preparing the documentation for the boss. But she said nothing wrong, you can meet me at home.

The seeker of intimate adventures she did not pull, but I also decided not to give this importance. On the way home, he went to the supermarket, picked up a simple snack, picked up a couple of bottles of lambrushe. She came home quickly, and here she came.

She looked great, of course. Much better than in the photo.

She helped me cover up the table in the hall and we went on to communicate, drizzling the whole matter with wine. But there happened something. I noticed that she drank wine in huge gloves and, consequently, became drunk very quickly. I don’t have sex with a drunk lady. And I decided to take her to rest in the bedroom, put her on the bed and, of course, did not dress. He laid himself in the room. I had no sleep and turned on the TV.

In about an hour, I heard the screams from the bedroom. I decided to check what was happening there. My new acquaintance was lying absolutely naked, and seeing me began to get upset, what hell I split her, that I am a maniac, and so on. I asked her to call a taxi home so she’t bother her. But she went to sleep again. After an hour, it all repeated, only she got the phone and started calling somebody, telling me my address (I remember! ) is Half an hour later there was a phone call in the home. There was a stranger in the camera who explained to me that he was the husband of my new acquaintance and came for her. I just swallowed heavily. I let him into the apartment and he told me that she sometimes wondered, like in a role, tries herself in a different social environment, and he supports her and forgives her. In general, he took her, and I was still sitting for a long time and did not understand what stupidity just happened.

At the reception about hemorrhoids, the surgeon asked:

Is it related to physical activity?

- Now not, sitting, and in his youth he worked as a carrier.

As for illness, and that is not good.

I am looking for a job now.

The wisdom of the eagle.

Flying above all is not only pride, it is also an opportunity to crack down on everyone.

I am a journalist at a major radio station. Reminded me of a recent funny story. Motorists remember that someone from the deputies of the State Duma introduced a bill, according to which the participants in the accident must undergo re-training - and not only the culprit, but also the victim. Eventually, it was cancelled, and with a scandal, but the discussion was lively. I also called all kinds of auto schools associations. Everyone, of course, agrees that it is necessary to re-train not only the participants, but also the passengers, and at the same time it is desirable for their family members and all eyewitnesses, and forced, and even a double fee to take, for prevention, so to speak. And here I call one of the figures there, his name is heard, known in his circles, and you, the reader, will remind him if you stress a little.
He, as usual, began to rub me about where and how many people died in the accident, how important safety on the roads is, where Russia is in this parameter in Europe, and so on. Very bright, with its own expressiveness, and with facts, detailed figures, etc. The perfect interlocutor. I decided to stick, and at the end of his monologue I stated with doubt: “Yes, you are all right, of course, but what about the price of the question? Will it not be a burden?” He is like the chairman of the collective farm from the Soviet film of the 1950s: “Young-o-o-o-o-o man! Can you measure human life in a ringing coin? “You are a young man, how young are you?”
27 to answer.
Imagine that your life will suddenly end! How many you could see sunsets at sea, rises in the mountains, how many pleasant moments you miss. The first smile of children? (The voice shakes tears) - And their first steps? Are you prepared to lose all this for the fault of an unskilled driver? No is? Here I am about it. Here, understand, money is not important, money is a thief! It is nonsense! I didn’t want to ring them with a high bell. Important continuous values, which we all in this rush, in this circle of megacities began to forget.
I take a pause, as if I had a feeling, and declare to him, slightly swinging my nose: “Yes, but I didn’t mean the price of the question for drivers. The draft law implies that auto schools will re-teach the participants of the accident at their own expense.”
How is it? He was immediately vigilant.
Well, if a person is in an accident, it means that he is provided with poor quality training services, and the car school will be obliged to...
What will she owe? He speaks with doubts. And the one who is not guilty, also to teach?
You said that Europe...
What fucking Europe? That we are all Europe-Europe, we have our own conditions, there is nothing abroad to turn!
But the length of life, sunsets at sea...
Eat more and run more in the morning like I do, and you will live long. No need to go into my pocket for that. And, you know, a young man: frankly speaking, that driver who was not trained for the first time, it is useless to teach him in the second!
Well, for a long time still erupted against the evil state, which only thinks of getting into the pocket of the working man, etc. I grinned about myself. The editor also liked it, but the story did not come out. Our friend of youth and longevity fighter called the chief and tearfully asked to take an interview from the air. And sorry...

Lifehack for a lady: Before giving a very beautiful stranger, you have to look him straight in the eyes and say "Karabakh is Azerbaijan!" and monitor the reaction.
If he did not strike, then he is not Armenian.

I attended a therapeutic group, Gestalt, there were two boys and 10 girls. All the girls (All the girls!) They shared such stories, where they were thrown away, fled from them, and were outraged by this, worried, angry, outrageous. In every one of them. There was not one story about how she escaped from the "dumb" guy, who either asked about a separate account, or offered as a first date to walk around the park, look at each other, understand if it is worth continuing at all or not. I asked if they informed the guy of their decision. Of course not! He is dumb! I say, well, and then the guy ran away from you too) didn’t think about it? No one has accepted this option.

In the year of 87, when I finished 3rd grade, my parents gave me some 60 kopecks. You could buy 3 ice cream, but I bought a bunch of redishes from the grandmothers sitting next to the kiosk. I’ve never tried it before, for some reason... it’s very hard to describe the extent of my disappointment that day.