XXX: And I gave it.
YYY: in the sense?
xxx: did, my friend, I did not believe,
We had more than an hour of fun.
How little is needed for man to be happy!
YYY: Congratulations to you! And you didn’t ask, it was a charitable act.
YYY: Or is it now possible on a permanent basis?
XX: I would like to be on a permanent basis.
XXX: Closed for 2 weeks
YYY: What is water? Fuck, I thought a woman.
xxx: fucking, you surprised, not young like already, and all of you believe in miracles...

And the people continued to divide into two groups and hate each other on the command of the government.
Do so few people realize that they are simply distracted and distracted?

If the deputies adopt a law on the prohibition of foreign words, they will not be called deputies - it is a foreign word. At the end of the day, there will be fighters.

I am hysterical :D
I go to the bookstore, I stand, I look at the books. A consultant approaches me and says:
Young man, are you looking for something?
Yes, I say, the meaning of life.
She rounded her eyes, "Mmm", and went away.
Well, I went and went, I think, even well, and then it only works on the nerves when they look at how I choose=)
I am standing, looking, not touching anyone.
About ten minutes later, she comes back and says:
Sorry, but there is no meaning in life.
I can’t explain why I’m like an idiot. :D

And I can... "How" here is completely inappropriate. "The meaning of life" - the repeatedly encountered name of literary works, including: and a collection of works of virtually unknown now Antoine de Saint-Exupéry.

Is it already July?

Where does "not forget to pay innet"?? to

All smokers are to blame.

demonstrated
Can you tell me how to go to the library?
— C:\WINDOWS\system\SYSTEM.dll

Initially it was:
How to go to the library
CD / Lib

I sit without touching anyone, I read in the inetic about the repair of the compulsion
Asking people to talk on social networks

Then he tries to divide and appear in the webcam.
Q: What are you wearing now?
Shirt and I just took off the gloves.
As you excite me, I want to see you in gloves.
This is the sweater gloves.

The contact removed itself.

and :)

Welding gloves are the best remedy against internet maniacs!!! to

I sat down with a friend, finding out what was going to the cinema, and what I would like to go to. I immediately remembered the cartoon I wanted, but the memory convincingly shattered, and the name did not want to pop up in my head. I decided to give birth to something that sounds original.

I want to be like him, fucking. "How to Destroy a Dragon!"

You are my Daenerys!

The cost of replacing water meters.
xxx: magical prices... I have a replacement of two water meters - 5000. To come a courier from Mosenergo and put a seal on the electric meter - 2500.
yyy: just a couple of weeks ago changed the water meters - two meters 1600 rubles. Installation is free. Plumbing and drawing of acts (Gilkomservis) - 800 rubles. Prices of Peter
That’s why people in Peter are good, but in Moscow are so bad.

I add :
And also diapers are called diapers and jeep - SUV :-)
____________________________________________________________________________
What is characteristic: the same people are talking about the coper or aspirin about acetylsalicylic acid - and laugh at those who call any tablet an iPad.
----------------
And here is what is characteristic: all people call the "faction ship for waterclothes from the Spanish trade house "Unity" - a toilet. And no one laughs, everyone is used to it :)

A shut-off TV reflects reality better.
by Igor Parfenna

Accidental meetings

Have you ever had a situation where someone happens to you occasionally in your life? As if not a friend, not a close acquaintance, sometimes you do not even know his name, just somehow you cross, from time to time... Here is a little story about one of my such acquaintances...

We met him at the very beginning of the nineties in our old, still, Tyumen "marriage". We then, with Lenka, a lady from our stream, had to submit statements there. This was done in order to obtain coupons for the "loading", by which in the salon for the newlyweds you could bite yourself a ring, foods or even "Salamandra" shoes. The gold, which I usually got, I immediately spit to a familiar jeweller, and the boots to the neighbor who knocked on the trunk. Lenka lived in a shelter, so she took her share of foods - candy, sausage and cheese.

In principle, this whole procedure of pseudo-marriage took no more than half an hour, for which it was necessary to jointly fill out the questionnaire, bring it to the office to a tough Zagsov aunt with a high perhydrole head and get there in return for the most promising talons.

The main thing was to preserve the serious expression of the face itself and to watch Lenka, who, when seen standing on the closet, above the head of her aunt, a pair of encouraged swans with rings (those then clinged to the roof of some "Volga", which carried the newlyweds) immediately began to hick.

There, at one of these events, we met him, going out to smoke and talking together, while our brides filled out the forms of statements.
I remember he looked quite successful for that time: a short haircut, a leather jacket, a thick gold chain, Magna cigarettes, and a new nine, which they then drove us to the institute. Probably he was a businessman. He was under thirty and, apparently, that’s why he approached me somewhat protectively.

The students? Why is it so early, impatient? He obviously wanted to talk to someone.

At that time it was somewhat uncomfortable to tell him that we were marrying fictitiously, and there was no sense of it, especially since he spoke more himself.

- I followed my Dinka from school, she went from home to me, her parents were Jews, they were against, here, tell me, what difference? You are born not to understand who, and then you will be inflated in your ears and a whore - you are already a Jew or a whore there.
He stretched, released smoke and again shrugged his hands:
What if you throw it? Then how! Not sure who you are!
About a month after that time, when I came back in the evening from school, I accidentally met him in our town garden. He was noticeably drunk and walked slightly.
Hello to you, student! Did he recognize me as himself? Wear it?

It was evident that he was in a state of some kind of joyful excitement, and he wanted to talk to someone. We went with him to the bar, and he bought us a bottle of beer, which was just beginning to be sold at us.

- All... I left the portion... and gave the car... to me - the name of the then Tyumen authority sounded - go, he said. You walk like a plague. And the boys understood... I can’t do without her... – his tongue was already intertwined – she immediately said to me: no crime. Did you see how beautiful she is?! to
I cried by agreeing. His bride was actually a very noticeable girl: tall, slim, black-haired. I remember thinking at the time that they definitely had a real love, since for her, he gave up the new "nine". For me in those years, the car was just an unattainable mess.

The next time I saw him was in the late 1990s. Next to my gym, which was in the basement of the old "chrush", someone bought an apartment on the first floor and did a repair in it. There, coming out of the basement, I met him again and he came in on Gazeli with a snowflake painted on the tent. When he saw me, he was delighted:

The student! What kind of destiny? In the hall... and I am - he nodded in the direction of the renovated apartment - I develop slowly, I sell air conditioners, now they are all put, by summer I want to start a store here. The season! He shrugged his hands equally vigorously.

You are how? Hasn’t anyone been slapped yet? Dinka is not still giving birth, but nothing, we are training – he smiled widely.

And again, I did not dare to tell him the truth about my “marriage.” Per because he was quite genuinely interested, and it was somehow uncomfortable for him to report it, it seemed to me somehow that it would upset him.

Then I met him at zero, in a restaurant, where my wife and I (at the time I was really married) celebrated three years of marriage, and he went with his wife. He squeezed a little and broke out, but still looked vibrant and representative. Dina also grew up a bit, but she looked just as impressive, in a beautiful white dress and with a bunch of long black hair, resembling some Greek.

When he saw my real wife with me instead of Lenka, he surprisedly opened his eyes, but said nothing, and acted like a gentleman, sitting his wife with the back to me so that she would not notice anything. And he himself also did not look at us anymore, only once understoodly blinking at me from a distance, say, it happens, this is the case.
I, in spite of all the comic situation, had nothing to do but to thank him in response.

Then, a few more years later, I saw them and my wife on the page of some local brilliant magazine, where they talked about the celebration of Hanukkah in Tyumen. Probably he still reconciled with his mother-in-law, since he had already been to their Jewish holidays.

And last week, I met him again when he was going through the park in the evening, returning from his companion. There in the park he was sitting on a bench, crawling out of a bottle that stood next to him.
Honestly, if he hadn’t called me, I’t have recognized him, so he changed. Thin, with wrinkles, with shoulder cramps, in fact, a real old man was sitting in front of me. I even shaken, before that he was not like himself, always cheerful and temperamental.

The student... How many years...

It seemed to me that his voice also changed, becoming quiet and somewhat broken.

“Don’t be afraid,” he smiled, noticing my confusion, “I’m this, I... sit down, drink with me? He gave me a bottle of Jameson.

For some reason I immediately drank.

How is family life? The children brought?

The daughter...
well... And my Dinki is no longer there, he buried it in September - he cried out again and stretched the bottle to me - Remember.

How is it? I saw you with her in a magazine... at the Jews... at the feast.

- Well, yes... - he extended deafly - the Jews... she wanted to go all the way to Israel, to the roots, to see, pulled, tired of the Maldives of all kinds.... I took a trip last year – a week in Eilat on the sea, a week in Jerusalem. She went all over there. All the holy places. So she liked it, let’s say, we’ll come here again. Even in the Wall of Cry I got a note, I want, say, to come back here in a year...

His voice trembled, and he hurried to swallow the whiskey.

In August we came from there, and in May she found cancer, such only in Israel is treated, here we exactly a year later again there and came. As she ordered... He swallowed and handed the bottle to me – there in the oncology center, in Tel Aviv and died... unoperable said....

We broke up with him when it was already dark in the park.

Well, let’s go, maybe we’ll see you again...

Listen, and how are you at all? Could help what?

He tired his head.

I have money... I’ve sold a lot of business, I’ve got enough for three lives now.

I came home that night quite drunk, surprising this husband, I rarely get so drunk. Somehow explaining to her that I met an old acquaintance, I went to bed.
Truth, despite the drunken, I could not immediately fall asleep, everything was roaring, I thought, I thought.
I don’t know why our world is so unfair. And why not bad, most likely, a man who has loved only one woman all his life is forced to suffer so much. I don’t know, and nobody seems to know. Everything is wrongly arranged. Sorry, but what will you do here?

And I was already asleep, when I suddenly thought that who knows him, maybe better such a fate, than in my whole life so never really in love with anyone.

Vladimir Putin said that there were no Russian footballers in Brazil, and the uniform can be bought in any store.

This is:
Football commentator: do you know what the French call offside? Lee is Offside!
-----------
The continuation was:
What is it called gol?
I do not know. We haven’t hit them yet.

From Picaboo:
A commentary to the video where a guy opens a beer using a magnet and a cane – the flow of a neutrino through the length of the coin causes a negative pressure value on the lid, resulting in it going back in time when it was not yet closed.

by Alexey: Hey
by Sergei: Hi
Alexey: How is it?
Sergey: You are straight like in the e2-e4 chess started))
Tribute to Traditions

My colleague's mother gathered with her friends at her home for her birthday. They modeled different costumes, made each other makeup, hairstyles and photographed... on the monument...

Y: And where do you live?
X: Artem
Very nice, but in which city do you live?
X: to smoke...

What kind of music do you play right now?
and Vanessa May.
1: Who is this?
2: (disappointed) U-u-u...
3: The famous violinist from Thailand, special for electric scraping. But Zincchuk on the guitar is still better!
2 the zinc? This is who?
1 and 3: (chorom) U-u... :)

For these hunters:
We went into the community "rat", meaning a thief. It is not a pity, but contrary to the fact that in your food, someone is constantly digging, then the cottage is crushed, then the sausages will bite off, then the milk will crumble off, then all the meat will be caught in the borst. We can't catch it, decided to find a cheap minicamera in the internet to put a hidden seam.

They burn without cameras. They try in the company to eat at the expense of others, at the general fee, either do not drop under different pretext, or invest less of everything in something cheaper (a bank of sea cabbage against meat on a shale, for example, - and what, he brought "eat meal"). They are always very interested in what you have in your pockets, in your bag, always ask for something you eat or drink, bite or swallow, trying to bite or drink more, although you will have your own not worse and enough. Typical phrases: "Oh, I’ve eaten it all, right? Ha-ha-ha!" when it comes to something delicious from the common table. Take a look and calculate.)