bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №158424
 28.07.2022
The current place of work was recommended to me by a friend as I went for promotion in a related organization. I came therefore for an interview immediately with my immediate boss bypassing the Eichar. He ran through the eyes of the resume and immediately stated: all okay, let’s go to the director.

After examining the resume, the director asked to tell about himself in two words.

And I burned:

- I am an alternative version of Ivanov (this is my predecessor, with whom we are still difficult)

Good thing, go make up.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №158423
 28.07.2022
The victory over your own laziness is a vivid example of the Pyrrhus victory. The winner has to work.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №158422
 28.07.2022
The Invisible Bus

There are sometimes miracles with buses in Moscow. You are standing and waiting at the stop. The website says it will be in five minutes. Time passes, there is no bus. And here it turns out, according to the message on the website - he just passed. Just an invisible bus. This happens once and not twice.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №158421
 28.07.2022
Respect people with glasses. They paid money to see you.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №158420
 28.07.2022
Xxx: How did these dawns ride under the windows? There is such an individual who lives in our area where he chases every day at 10-12 at night, and I have not calculated it yet. When I find where it is parked, I will pour the hose with mounting foam.



Don’t forget to ride the motorcycle too.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №158419
 27.07.2022
The main paradox of our lives is that small wages are the hardest to earn.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №158418
 27.07.2022
In the summer at the window you clearly understand: children are too loud flowers of life.

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №158417
 27.07.2022
Two stories that are unexpectedly connected.



The first story.



Many years ago, Chicago actually belonged to Al Capone. A brutal gangster with a scar on his face powerfully wrapped the City of Winds with a stinking web of smuggling alcohol, prostitution and custom murders. He had a lawyer named “Famous Eddie.” Eddie was not just Al Capone’s lawyer. Eddie was a fucking good lawyer!



It was thanks to his talent and maneuverability that Big El escaped prison for a long time. Capone paid generously for it. Not only huge money, but also special dividends. Eddie and his family lived in an enclosed estate with servants and all the amenities available at the time. The building was so large that it occupied an entire neighborhood. Eddie lived the cheerful life of a Chicago gangster and did not give importance to the horrors that occurred under his side.



And yet, Eddie had a weak spot – a son he adored. His son had everything: clothes, cars and excellent education. Rejection was nothing. The price did not matter. Eddie, despite his ties with the mafia, tried to get the boy to distinguish truth from evil. Eddie wanted his son to be better than himself. But with all his wealth, he could not give his son his good name and personal positive example.



At some point, the glorious Eddie decided to redeem all the evil committed. He decided to surrender to the authorities and tell the world the truth about Al Capone, the Man with the Scars. He wanted to clean up his polluted name and give his son at least some sort of honor. In order to do so, he had to testify in court against the mafia. He knew he would pay a lot. But he gave testimony. A year later, the life of the Glorious Eddie was broken by a machine gun line on a remote street in Chicago. Yes, he gave his son the greatest gift, but paid for it at the highest price.



Police found in his pockets brushes, a crucifixion on a medalion and a verse cut out of the newspaper:

“Once the hours of life stop and no one can predict.

when the hands are lowered - in the early or late hour.

Now is the only time that belongs to you.

Live, love and work with desire. Do not believe time.

Because the clock can stop so soon.”



The second story



Many heroes were born by the Second World War. One of them was Captain Butch O’Hara. He was a combat pilot based on the Lexington aircraft carrier in the South Pacific. One day his squadron flew on a mission. After taking off, Butch determined by indications of instruments that someone from the staff forgot to fill up his fuel tank. The fuel in the tank was not enough to successfully complete the task and return to the aircraft carrier. The squadron commander ordered Butch to turn onto the ship. With his heart shaken, he left the aircraft and headed back to the navy.



During the flight he saw something from which his blood froze in his veins. The squadron of Japanese combat aircraft went on full flight to the U.S. Navy. American planes were already far away, and the ships were completely defenseless.



Butch did not have time to return to his squadron and bring the planes back in time to rescue the fleet. He also failed to warn the ships of an imminent danger. There was only one way out: it had to force the Japanese to deviate from the course. Forgetting about his own safety, he plunged into the squadron of Japanese aircraft. For them, the sudden attack of the American was a complete surprise. Fifty-caliber guns on his wings released an attacking line of fire. Butch rushed into the Japanese squadron and sharply pulled the plane up, crushing the orderly Japanese combat formation. He watered the enemy with fire from all his weapons until the ammunition was exhausted. But he continued to attack fearlessly. He tirelessly revolved around the Japanese planes, trying to get on the tarantula from the tail side, then from the wings side. The enemy’s overwhelmed air squadron decided to turn and departed in a different direction. Butch O’Hara and his destroyed aircraft were hardly able to reach the deck of the aircraft carrier.



Upon arrival, he was supposed to have made a full report on what had happened in the air. A video camera on the front gun illustrated the report. She recorded all the crazy courage with which Butch defended his fleet. In the battle he destroyed five enemy vehicles. It happened on February 20, 1942. Butch became the first naval as of World War II and the first naval pilot to receive the highest award "For Combat Merit".



A year later, Butch O’Hara was killed in an air battle. He was 29 years old. His hometown did not allow the memory of the war hero to dissolve in time. If you’re traveling, then maybe one day you’ll have to visit Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport, so named in honor of the great warrior.



Now you will ask, well, and what connects these stories to each other?

Oh, it is simple. Butch O’Hara was the son of the Famous Eddie.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №158416
 27.07.2022
The bottle of Taroun. The inscription reads: “Made by an old recipe.”
The following: "Composition: purified water, flavor, identical to natural (E265), sodium benzoate, dye(E231)".

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №158415
 26.07.2022
xxx: People who see sexual subtext in everything are stressed. Stop the exaggeration. covering this topic. End it now.



Yyy: 69 percent of people see hints of wet dreams, even when looking at dry statistics.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №158414
 26.07.2022
In life, everything, like in the kitchen, slightly squeezed, did not look and immediately smelled fried.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №158413
 26.07.2022
Recently, a film actor – a star of cult films – landed at the airport of New York, flying from London. During the delivery of the baggage, a young fan approached him and asked for an autograph. But just paintings from the idol seemed to the boy little and he began to sleep the actor with questions. Despite the fatigue after a long flight, the actor did not go away, but carefully answered everything.

So it happened that next to this moment was TV producer Andrew Kimmel - he arrived on the same flight. Having witnessed this conversation, the star's companion recorded the conversation and posted it on social networks.

Do you live in New York? The boy asked.
I live in Los Angeles.
How long are you going to be in New York?
Four days! No... Five. Five days!
Why are you in New York?
I want to go to a Broadway show.

But the boy was so upset that after another couple of sentences he had finished questions. And then the actor began to ask his own and ask why the boy was in Europe, which Paris galleries he went to and which he liked the most.

“A man could not be kind, especially after an international flight. I thought I’d share this because he’s a great actor, and such small moments can make such a big difference in people’s lives,” said Andrew Kimmel. And he is right.

This actor has long been famous for his kindness, and some facts say more about his qualities than all his friends. For example, he helps his filming groups on the scene, carrying equipment. After completing the filming of the fourth part of the cult film, he endowed the cascades with expensive watches. He is also the founder of a charity fund that helps in the treatment of childhood leukemia.

Do you want to feel great these days? It’s easy: just find that person, despite his occupation, and talk to him. You may not even prepare for that conversation. Keanu Reeves himself will be interested to ask you about your life. and honestly. honestly.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №158412
 26.07.2022
What are you and your wife talking about?
and expensive.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №158411
 25.07.2022
A acquaintance told me. She was 14. I went with my family to rest on the Black Sea. Parents gathered on the beach with another company, she was swimming with a mattress. Opening his eyes speaks of a strange hiccups. She fell asleep on the mattress and around the dolphins. The shore is seen by a thin line on the horizon. Thus, Throchanula speaks like never before, begins to grasp on the seventh elevated. As she grabbed to the shore, she struck the blood of her buttocks on the mattress. I found theirs, and they were sitting with their companions and crawling on the beach. They didn’t even notice she was missing. It suddenly turned off, he said.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №158410
 25.07.2022
I am 13-14 years old. The parents sent him to the store and gave him a large note. I don't remember how many more, the numbers on the modern way. For example, I gave 1000. I went to the store and bought what I asked. I took the surrender.

In front of the store is the square and there is a maslenica. All kinds of fair, fair. Go to see. I stand in a crowd. I look under my feet - 500₽ lies. I was sweaty. The foot came. How to do, how to raise? I have money, I have money! And let's buy them all in a row: and pins and cockroaches and other nonsense.

In an hour and a half, it’s time to go home. There is still ice cream! I come home happy. Mom asks for a delivery and I find that she is not there. It was my money that fell out of my pocket, I raised it and spent it myself. It flew...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №158409
 25.07.2022
Summer and the beach. I am swimming with my future wife. She has my athlete - running, skiing, swimming and others. I swim like g... 5 minutes no more.

The lake is big, she tells me swimming on the other shore. There was a man’s pride in me and we went swimming. In 7-10 minutes, I feel like everything is crazy for me. My girlfriend sailed far ahead. And here the girl in front of me is swimming on the inflatable mattress, I am next to her. So, save for God’s sake. I hold onto the inflatable mattress, we sailed to the shore. Hands and legs tremble from the overstress, as it came out. My girlfriend has been on the shore for a long time.

She dropped only one word.

Are you flirting?

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №158408
 25.07.2022
xxx: I watched the first film Lord of the Rings on a date with a guy who wanted to impress me, so the whole film didn't get stuck :( And he told mostly that he was too smart for such a movie, and everything was obvious and predictable to him.

I watched the movie once and eight times in a row. I went to the cinema every day. It was Ohuenno.



YYY: You see what a good guy he was. He is smart, he explained the whole film to you. And the second movie you had to watch eight times to figure out what it was for.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №158407
 25.07.2022
xxx: In my city it is easy to recognize a good specialist: if he has removed from here, then the specialist is good.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №158406
 25.07.2022
While we feared that the internet would spoil our children, television spoiled our parents.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №158405
 25.07.2022
Do to others as they would do to you if they knew you would do to them the same.

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