bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №18101
 13.07.2009
When signing the terms of insurance or loan, remember: small font
It is written what is taken from you. And the smaller the font, the more you have.
They take.
A. Dockov

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №18100
 13.07.2009
This story was told by my old teacher.
Her grandson grew up capricious and bitter, his parents suffered all his "wishes",
In other words, it would have caused a mega hysteria.
The first time they left their grandson for a long time with their grandmother, they didn’t even imagine how
It will influence the child’s knowledge of Eastern philosophy.
But it was time to take the child, the parents passed. The Child, Published
When I saw my mom and dad, I ran to them. In the middle of the road, and with
All the time, he “crossed” to the ground.
The parents froze from surprise and from the feeling of a fountain of tears and rage.
Like a flying fighter.
The child rises up, without a single sound, and the question is silent in his eyes.
His parents said, “That’s a calamity.”

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №18099
 13.07.2009
A Georgian comes to the doctor and doesn’t dare to tell about his life.
The problem.
- Panamajes Doctor, very ashamed of mine havarit, friends of the laughing,
The girl laughs, the whole village laughs.
It is not worth it, right? He decided to help a doctor.
It’s worth it, but not Garfield.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №18098
 13.07.2009
Each engine assembled by the AUTOVAZ is exclusive.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №18097
 13.07.2009
Yandex at the request of "Mreo Donetsk" servicefully demonstrated on the right the image of the 200-griven banknote :)

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №18096
 13.07.2009
I call a friend.
I am: Hi! How are things? What do you do?
He is gifted. Well, here are the punches I bought, in the bathroom I stand over the dishwasher they eat.
I am fed?
He: the powder from them will be dried up, the plate will be taken.

[ + 41 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №18095
 13.07.2009
The question of the day in the JJ (type of those who have creative crisis): Louis-Albert and Marianne, Cruz and Eden, Ellen and the guys, Ross and Rachel, Victoria Vladimirovna and Maxim Viktorovich - who is your favorite television couple?
Something confuses me here?

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №18094
 13.07.2009
Sometimes, I just thank God for not posting videos and pictures on the BOR!!! = )

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №18093
 13.07.2009
When I was studying at the institute, we had an old man from the village and two sisters from the same village. They lived in a shelter, but the rooms are two-seater, and they had to live for something in three (the diploma seems to be done). Dali in the newspaper announcement "A family of three students will take a room".

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №18092
 13.07.2009
My boss is called Gula. When I started working in the company, I asked her a lot of questions. Sometimes, in the morning, when the eyebrows and fingers were not yet awakened, it sounded like this: Google, I have a question.

[ + 48 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №18091
 13.07.2009
I want a country, an apartment, a car, a girlfriend, beer, money, my staff, a yacht, a sea named after me, the most powerful computer in the world, and I don’t want to go over.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №18090
 13.07.2009
Today from my brother via ICQ came a message:

"Hello to you I have the money ended on the mobile phone, it is not always possible to write with inets... call, plz, our, tell us that we are all fine, feed for slaughter, everything is very delicious, today we went to rafting... ask them to put me on the phone 1000 rubles, as well. SMS here costs about 20 rubles, and a call - 70 rubles. Ask them how they are there, let them write me to the mail"

Read 3 times before remembering that he is now in Turkey and that it is not spam %)


[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №18089
 13.07.2009
Winux: When I watch American movies, do I want to have glass or construction garbage when jumping from the bridge into the garbage compartment?

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №18088
 12.07.2009
Batman is
by Sanna

West Incognito
M is?

Batman is
I have x you surreptitious vapor

Batman is
Tell me like a boy.

Batman is
Does she have hair?

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №18087
 12.07.2009
YYY: What are you dreaming about?
To make your daughter grow up faster.
yyy: I also want to see how my man will become, what profession he will choose, husband, grandchildren I want to see...
XXX: I have some different thoughts.
YYY :?! to
xxx: I want my daughter to grow up faster so that she finally starts getting to the switch in the kitchen! It’s high unlike other rooms...it’s already six...

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №18086
 12.07.2009
Yesterday, the husband brought a cute bottle with a sprayer. I turned him in my hand, thinking of myself:
What are the perfumes? There are no labels.
It smells, it does not smell. I ask my husband:
This is what? A gift to me?
He answered:
This is a gift, not to you, but to me.
What’s inside, I don’t know.
– Drink, – replies a happy husband.
- A-a-a-a, I understood, - I extended, - you are going to spray alcohol in your mouth instead of a breath refresher? for the mood.
"Why do you have a perverted understanding," laughed the husband, "I am going to spit the plates with alcohol, because it is more convenient to spit them out of the sprayer, and if you get me, I will spit in my mouth to ease.(c)Kazan_love

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №18085
 12.07.2009
taken from one blog:

The case occurred this Sunday.
My friend held the Linguistic Olympiad at RossGum University
For the schoolchildren.

Close to the evening all things are done: the Olympics they held, all the work
They checked, sat down, and shared their impressions.
And the first task they had was to translate to all known
If I were a sultan, I would have three wives.
Of course, the most common versions are in English.
German and French languages. Sometimes in Italian.
and Spanish. There are a few options in Ukrainian and Japanese.
There is one in Pascal.

It looks like this:
begins
if (I = Sultan) then
Beginning
Get (First Wife)
Get (Second_Wife)
Get (Third_Wife)
end of;
End of.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №18084
 12.07.2009
There are two streets on the street, on one there is a hopeless traffic jamming, and on the opposite side there is a wedding court of five Mercedes, black like coal. Well, once they go, they probably know what they are doing, although there are mints... But who could know that a trolleybus will roll out to meet them on their allocated legal lane! That merce against the trolleybus - and he has wires, he can't get around. In short, the mercenaries so slowly began to give up behind and, tighted by an unstoppable trolleybus, arrived at the crossroads.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №18083
 12.07.2009
When on all the forums everything can be viewed, everyone is answered, in the aske with everyone is flushed... the modern man begins to sit dumb and update all these forums in the hope of getting a new dose of bookah.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №18082
 12.07.2009
adult is when the word "makдак" comes to mind, first of all, the legendary uncle scrooge))

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