[SP]arK: Fignia... I have a friend in asskoe more often from work with a mob phone sitting... constantly writing: "What did you sleep... Where are you there? A short flow of mobile..."
Friend: And what is this?? to
[SP]arK: The worst thing is that he’s driving and driving all day =))
O O O O O O

My friend bought a laptop.
She brings me to her office - we meet in the cafe.
I pull out the notebook - I see - there is no battery.
I: Masha – and where is the battery?
Oh, and I didn’t take her – she’s so heavy! But I charged the laptop – is it autonomous?

kanku(06:51): Vladimir Anatolyevich, the Accountant is again down! I am in Ahton.
BigBoss(06:51): Well so restart it! Are you Siddhartha or I? Why am I paying you money?
kanku(06:51): They removed him from the table!!! to
BigBoss(06:51): Blue and blue!!!! to

How does a netbook differ from a laptop?
There are a lot of nets on the net.

19:16:14 Da_house_cat: Hi everyone) I am new
19:16:54 Da_house_cat: mda....
19:17:34 Da_house_cat: and the naker registered?
19:18:05 Da_house_cat: fucking
19:18:32 Da_house_cat: where is the exit?
19:19:27 Da_house_cat: fucking, you can’t even get rid of it just like that)))

by Habr

TFIRM
27 April 2009, 17:27
This was before the emergence of the SSC. Googled a former classmate – it helped!

Semenov
27 April 2009, 21:34
The desire to get rid of a former classmate is one of the main reasons why social networks have become so popular.)))

I read a quote about the washing machine in the elevator and there were questions to the author. How did you pass the screwdriver through the closed doors? If the doors were open at this time, how did you have time to think about it before instead of just pulling the cable back??? And the main question!! Why did your brother decide to wrap the cable on his neck from the washing machine leaving in the elevator??? Or the washing machine like in a horror film decided to kill your brother and threw him like a laso on the neck???? to
Honey, it’s very interesting to know the answer...

Inaccurately inserted in the frame of the price is able to turn a gentle, appetizing cheese "Ostankinsky" into a disturbing cheese "Remains".

Very good look torrent "the world's dumbest deaths" in the "training materials" section.

...Like... (18:02) :
I know why I need alcohol.

by Alice Kram (18:03) :
M Why? How to wash the wounds?

...Let me... (18:04) :
No...to run games without a disk))

If the controller was invented by a woman, it would have only two buttons:
“Sound Out” and “Sex”

Not all scientific developments are for the benefit of humanity. The release of atomic energy led to an arms race; and even the seemingly harmless investigations of academic Pavlov — at least in one known case — shed blood on many innocent people.

I was at a visit to my distant relative, who lives in a large village fifteen kilometers from our district centre. His house stands next to a beautiful newly rebuilt church with shining domes and a bell with watch guardians. I came in the evening. Ilya
Petrovich (so called the old man) was home alone, as his wife left for a couple of days to his sister. He quickly gathered a simple village snack on the table; I put in the middle what was brought with me — well, in general!
The usual conversation in such cases began: as life, as health, what is new? And here Ilya Petrovich, briefly lying down on the wall clock, says:
What is new, you say? Listen to the happiness! Just guess a rumor.
And he himself sits with a drink in his hand, scratches his teeth-free mouth and looks at the clock. Suddenly, the curants at the bellroom began to beat another full hour with a melodic battle, and immediately an incredibly loud and disgusting whisper came from the street - a pig whispered, undoubtedly. Maybe a few pigs at once. Howphony was - even if the saints are out! When the bells were knocked off and the pigs went out, the old man told me the following: He bought it a week ago, as he bought it every year (by agreement), from one grandfather, who lived in a stalled hutor five kilometers from the village, two young pigs. This grandfather - a deaf, like a traffic jamming, a former fleet boatsman - lived there with his grandson-orphan, a boy of fourteen years old, and engaged in the growing of pigs for sale. Always, in all the previous years with his pigs everything was normal, and here - here...
I bought, in general, brought home, dropped in the shell - and that's where it started! The pigs started screaming. And not just so, and, as it was possible to find out through short observations, strictly by hour - in full accordance with the battle of the curants. And not only them.
“Wow, I have clocks on the floor in my wardrobe, you see? I asked
Ilya Petrovich, - I had to stop, or these parnocopytny generally
every fifteen minutes.
Furthermore, it turned out that the clock, as a time factor, was not important - these cattle cried even louder when the bells were ringing at noon, at noon and at night. It smelled mystic – that is, gray. No one knew what could be the case. Neighborly grandmothers pleaded Ilya Petrovich and accused him of confusing his pigs with Satan. This was added to a conflict with his wife (“You think why did she leave? Or, he says, I or the pigs! That, he says, when I come back, and their spirit was not here! Let’s go, let’s sell! In addition, the local father himself a couple of days ago stopped Ilya Petrovich on the street and whispered to him in half a voice - unclean, say, so. Do something.
What will you do here?Ilya Petrovich, not rylli
Are they isolated? Cutting is too early, but it is also unfortunate. Money is
The food is ready and the food is already prepared. And to sell, who am I?
Will I sell here?! to
Then he decided to visit the grandfather once again. I just went to lunch with him today, and you can imagine! He has reached the truth!
Tomorrow I will take these pigs from Jericho back and take the money.
Because the product is unconditional, he said solidly.
Ilya Petrovich, according to him, squeezed until he was able to convey to the deaf animal owner the essence of the problem.
At first, the grandfather could not get what they wanted from him; he was only knocking at the confused eyes and smiling at the smile of a man who suspects that he is being joked.
But then, suddenly, in a moment, his face was illuminated by a sudden understanding of what was happening, and he, knocking his hand on his forehead, shouted:
Why did he bring her from the roof and hang her there? the fifth,
Okay, go to here!
From the house appeared his grandson, who, smashing on the cheeks of the sloth, after two minutes of interrogation in everything and confessed.
It turns out, he read in a textbook about conditional reflexes and decided to check the correctness of the stated experimentally.
To do this, he pulled the old ship market from the loft, which his grandfather brought with him to commemorate the years of naval service, and hanged it before entering the pig farm.
He told his grandfather that he would play sailors.
The experiments he conducted were extremely simple and unstoppable: first he beat the bell, and then he beat the current of pigs.
Literally a few days later, the young scientist managed to unusual results - pigs began to whisper immediately after the first sounds of the market, without waiting for the experimentator to begin to approach them with a naked cable.
In fact, this is the whole story...

Oh yeah yes! The next week, I accidentally saw an advert on the stop, written with the following inscription: "I sell two pigs only to a man who lives near the church." Nevertheless, this old bosman is an honest and conscientious man.

Axioma: Any, even the hottest trainer, at home turns into a hangover.

xxx: we are responsible for those who have been deceived =_='

Vinzor
I love him :) I'm the happiest girl in the world because I have him!and :-*
The vibrator? and ROFL
Annual
Yes :D
Annual
Do not worry about the norm.
Vinzor
I understand that everything is normal.
Vinzor
her sister got a nobility vibrator and she was living well
Annual
I love
Vinzor
She lived long and happy.
Vinzor
Until the batteries are in the vibrator.
Annual
Then I went and bought a new.
Vinzor
No, it is not romantic.
Vinzor
Then the prince arrived on a white horse and pulled the battery from the machine.
Vinzor
and wrapped a poor annie on a vibrator with all the feet...

Salary in the office. Eye of the box. The newly adopted employee-F.I.O. by Sergey Alekseevich. Dialogue between the cashier (K) and the employee (R):
Hm... hello to you. You who?
R: I am the rat.
The pause...
Q: By the year?
R: By the way of life!! My name is such...

Sun, air and water are our best friends.
Beer and beer?
Beer is more of a relative.

T: house-2 pork farm some) Eat, sleep and reproduce.

I have a bag in the laundry. You know, the microwave has such a function, when it stopped heating, and the food forgot to get, it constantly picks to get the foods, say, I finished, free the room? So, in my washing machine, it seems that something similar was also tried to program, but apparently the assembly, however, is not German, because when you do not get the long-pressed underwear, it begins to wash it again after some time)))))))
>Zloi_kak_sobak: she just looks - not removed... the owner is dissatisfied!! I have to wash it! :)
Durnaya_: But I calculated, if you put on a fast wash in cold water and it stretches it twice, it takes less powder and electricity than to put on a long with warm! And the quality of laundry is the same, even more careful is more economical)))
>Zloi_kak_sobak: well, again the machine is smart)) she thinks that she has stretched a fig and tries to please the hostess in every way )) And if you violate her - she will stop eating powder at all ))
<durnaya_: She just probably saw me throw out the tea bar, which was calculated at 2.5 liters, but boiled completely only when there was no more than a liter of water in it. And I thought that, well, her naphyg napartit chonit, will go down from the 11th floor and will not even ask how they are called)))) Here in Krasnodar in general is a miracle-technique! There is also a straw that begins to self-clean from boiling exclusively on light things))))
>Zloi_kak_sobak: he just has a weak stomach

I sit with my daughter (2, 5 years old) in the bath, poured foam. The bathroom. My daughter eats foam.
At the same time, the husband in the kitchen pouches a glass of beer to himself, the foam in the glass is also dull... begins to drink...

I (daughter) loudly: Let’s stop eating the foam!!!...
A couple of sec. Silence... the angry rooster of her husband... He runs and says - this is why you will never get horns, providence...