bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №130562
 12.07.2016
<X'san'cor> In general, there are a lot of demanded jobs that the corporate world needs.
<H'san'cor> But for the time being is afraid to admit it
<H'san'cor> Police for instance
<H'san'cor> Who finds people who put meetings on 10 people for 2 hours without an agenda
<H'san'cor> And fuck them
<H'san'cor> by foot
<H'san'cor> Track all meetings longer than an hour in the calendars of all negotiations
<X'san'cor> And cancel their nahuy if there is no clear what to discuss even half an hour
<H'san'cor> Well and so on
<monkeyhead> you were visited by the police
<monkeyhead> today without a fine
<monkeyhead> but in the meantime fuck up and don’t assemble for 3 hours

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №130561
 12.07.2016
The Prologue. I live in Nikolaev, a regional center in the south of Ukraine. Not in the most developed regions. Many who leave do not want to come back.
I walk around the street in my headphones, a grandmother hits me and begins to say something to me. I take off the headphones and hear: "How do I get out of here?". Soon on the machine I issue: "from Nikolaev?". She looked at me like a sick man and went away.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №130560
 12.07.2016
Talk about fucking:

xxxh: Sold what I wanted, stupid that I didn't immediately take, decided that in the days if I order something (
Yyy: Right, if I found cheap and what I need, why order right away?
YYY: Wait, somebody else will buy it.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №130559
 12.07.2016
dimgel: in sochi fucking dolboebism blooms
Gary :?
dimgel: prohibition to visit the beaches from 20:00 to 8:00
I heard something from the end of my ear.
GARIK: And what about NAHUA?
Dimgel: Yes, I didn’t even read it!
dimgel: because it’s shit, fuck it already nahua
Thank God, I am not in Sochi.
We always solve the most urgent problems first.
Dimgel: and as usual prohibitions
You know, we all have trouble from the fact that people swim at night.
Dimgel: No, maybe there are some anti-terrorist engines there, but do they hide then? introducing a special provision, the commander's hour there - and voila.
Gary: A
Terrorists swimming at night
Gary : Certainly!
by dimgel: 100%
dimgel: refugees from Turkey are landing
Dimgel: with machines
For sale of gases?
Garik: In fact, if seriously, the problem I see here is the main thing is that we have such an insult introduced without the slightest attempt to explain something normally.
Garik: And I do not understand why.
garik: why you can't just say normal - from the marian flame floated zombie meduses, which at night suck the mosquito of swimmers
dimgel: I read the article on the tape. Care for the health and life of people. He said that drunken people should not drown in the sea at night. Definitely a fucker.
Garik: and during the day they fucking swim.
and drunk)
Tagged: wo

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №130558
 12.07.2016
The ISS camera captured how an UFO entered the Earth’s atmosphere.

xxx: Well, and they say "foreigners" here do not go... Even as I entered, "fish"! True, it seems, it is just a postman, the banderoll delivered for those who have long been here to control everyone...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №130557
 12.07.2016
The SSH:
I had a skeleton at home, I asked for it from colleagues as a gift for D.R.
A very useful thing, it was convenient for him to wear a dress that was smoothed from the evening, so that he didn't melt!
Well, in general, it prompted me to think about the brandiness of everything.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №130556
 12.07.2016
The Whc:
It is a bit stressful when it is called a rabbit.
Well, not so much to take out the pillow - but it has to be repaired.
I am a cat, I am a cat! and gt ;(

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №130555
 12.07.2016
(xx - female, xy - male, colleagues, both just over forty)

xx
You look very young today.

xy
Rose is broken.

xx
Seriously, I am jealous.

xy
And you are born.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №130554
 12.07.2016
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
XXX has three problems.
xxx: a lot of money, 18 years and alcoholism

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №130553
 12.07.2016
All property and inheritance can be arranged so that when inheriting your rights do not differ from marital rights.

It is not possible, according to our laws, any will is disputed by close relatives. Even without any 321s, joint property at the death or incapacity of a citizen attracts a crowd of relatives, there are even those about which no one has heard for half a century.

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №130552
 12.07.2016
Korojed ate the tree on the island of Losin. White had nothing to eat. Hungry, they settled in the forest park. The pensioners fed them. until yesterday. It came out on the shells. Drunk morals organized the hunt. Empty beer bottles killed five confident whites in the evening. Many of the whites knew in the face and fed personally. And now tell me about humanism, the crown of creation and Christian benefactors... You begin to realize that Auschwitz is not such a bad thing.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №130551
 12.07.2016
"Ronaldo’s mother insulted the French for her son’s injury".

My mother complained. A real macho.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №130550
 12.07.2016
I met a girl artist in another candy.
> It turned out that she was also a coder.
> I have some suspicions.
I asked if she had a member.
> is there.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №130549
 12.07.2016
The bride’s daughter fled crying to the toilet, shouting that the mother has no right to sex and corruption, her daughter is already married and should be ashamed.
The newly cooked mother-in-law (also an unstable woman) somehow looked at the snow all night.

First they raise children who are illiterate in sex, then they are surprised by such reactions.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №130548
 12.07.2016
My ex-wife fled with my best friend. I don’t know him, but he’s my best friend.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №130547
 11.07.2016
XX: I have a pacifist view of the world. It remains to come up with how to kill all the nasty hams and wretches.
yyy: Dada, I also thought of the Siberian ulcer...We are real pacifists with you =)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №130546
 11.07.2016
Be careful, fool
and ==
I decided to share! My girlfriend read on the internet that they are losing weight from mine. Thank God to the man who wrote this.
and ==
It will lift you up and you will lose weight :)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №130545
 11.07.2016
I will clarify:

Well, it is originally so created by nature (god, creator, demiurg, flying pasta monster - it is necessary to emphasize) that if two want more than communicate, then their genitals must be OF DIFFERENT shape. The law only confirms that. Because it is nefigured.

Not more than communicating, but continuing, because only this is important to Mother Nature (God, LMM and even with them). And whoever there just touches - these beings are deeply fooled.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №130544
 11.07.2016
Quote from my beloved boss:
We will not be paid for this work. And since we do it for free, we need to do it quickly.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №130543
 11.07.2016
Wake up now. No one loves us as we are. This is a false lie. We are loved as beautiful, cheerful and cheerful. and cared for.

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