bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №131891
 09.08.2016
It would be good to organize your new religion. Babylon is bursting.
2: -You at least try to arrange a new alternative line in the clinic. You get experience and we will see.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №131890
 09.08.2016
It is logical:

Why is it cowardly? I always try to pay myself, always absolutely, not order what you can’t pay for yourself, men that’s why it’s offensive. Many are shocked.

He thought I would take her to a restaurant, and she would tell me a whisper. Hop, and she pays for herself. That, the plan is broken!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №131889
 09.08.2016
Limitation signs probably aren’t just like that. I don't know how there is in the world, but in Russia on such roads even 90 is scary to drive (there are holes, then tracks, etc. and if the holes are still fine, but tracks in the winter is the worst thing, even in the city). I drove as a passenger at speed 190, on a 4 strip, flat track, this speed is visible only on the speedometer, in sensations - about 100. Why drive at such a speed? Are you in a hurry to give birth or hunt? At this rate and the load on attention is strong, and the car is not very good. Comfortable speed outside the city without fatigue 90-110, and within the rules. On the serpentines I would generally put a post at the entrance, so that fools catch how much I drive, so constantly "right" dudes at the encounter, trying to finish overtaking (when either consistent everywhere or especially cool on the rises and blind turns). I never turn away, not my problems, that they have a brain lacking as an organ, it is easier for me to rip a buffer in case of something, than a multi-ton truck to throw into the square and lose both the car and the cargo, even for life is dangerous. So as the saying goes "He who has understood life is not in a hurry".

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №131888
 09.08.2016
The dialogue:
She: I got my closet, can you come and help collect it?

I: I should have asked the masters, they have the tool.

She: Yeah, they are, they are, they are, they are, and so on.

I: No, no, I was washed up in the movie today, and then a tight schedule, and to you to go for an hour and a half by the subway.

Once you loved me, and you would come.

I: Well...when I loved drugs...but it all went by.

You are... you are!! Do you compare me to drugs??? With that shit!!? to

I: Well...I would compare it to peelings, but I still love them...we have it for the rest of our lives.
She...
And I dropped the phone))))))))

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №131887
 09.08.2016
Sofas are not made for men to pull them, but for men to lie on them.
by Confucius

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №131886
 09.08.2016
Easier to remove bumper
In the late 1990s, my husband, I and my younger sister were transported to the lake by a friend of my husband. New Russian, cool foreign mark, all things. And he went to bypass a column of trucks. And after the meeting - the same column.I had my whole life in front of my eyes, already with my daughter in thoughts said goodbye. Thanks to the long-distance drivers – they moved, let us back on our track. And there would be all such "principal" - at least minus three innocent lives because of other people's pants.
And the boy then on the yacht in the bad weather turned over and drowned. But without us, this is a different story.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №131885
 09.08.2016
Man is known everywhere.

The prisoner escapes from the prison where he spent the last 15 years. He runs along the road and suddenly notices a house on the shovel. He breaks into it and finds a young family couple in the bedroom. He catches his husband, binds him to a chair, binds his wife to the bed, climbs on her, kisses her in the neck and goes to the bathroom.
While he is not there, the husband says to his wife:
– Listen, this footage escaped a criminal, he probably spent a lot of time in prison. I have not seen a woman for years. I saw him kissing you in the neck. If he wants cecca, do not resist, just do what he tells you, bring him pleasure. This guy is dangerous, if he gets angry, he can kill us. Be strong, my dear.
I love you.
The wife says:
He didn’t kiss my neck. He whispered to my ear that during his years in prison he liked boys more and that you were very sectarian. He asked me where we kept the vaseline. I said in the bathroom. So be a strong path. I love you.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №131884
 09.08.2016
Germany and the speed. A friend of mine from there was fined 2500 euros per week for excess. He has to go there often now, so he will pay. He also read about the fact that there are no restrictions, and the brain forgot to turn on.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №131883
 09.08.2016
That feeling, when you decided to smash the excess fat, the store came for the shovels, and there the biggest size you even on the neck does not fit.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №131882
 09.08.2016
About the Cat Cotten:

My friend has a cat. Welcome to Poncho. My girlfriend was a mathematician, and the name of Pony turned into the full Exponent, and when the cat was registered in the club, it was necessary that the second name with the letter I began. As a result, the cat is named Jacobien Exponent.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №131881
 09.08.2016
The SPB. I regularly use public transportation.
The elderly are mostly girls/women. Right next to the guys quietly sit, stuck in the smartphone, or sleep. The girl, I always give up.

of Krasnodar. There are almost always young girls. While I was pregnant, no man gave up, women always.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №131880
 09.08.2016
I want the blocking page to be beautiful.
Signs of Supervisory Authorities
As in all normal countries.
2: and on the axis
3: and with a horizontal layer
1: to open and immediately desire to get around
And that you could play a pinball in the corner :)
4: And so that the likes can be placed
1: to share
Third: The Forum
1: and comments like my brother died of this
5: and references to i2p and tor )))

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №131879
 09.08.2016
You’re talking about grandmothers again.
They don’t go back to school soon, right?
and miserable

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №131878
 09.08.2016
Freedom of speech best reveals that most people have virtually nothing to say.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №131877
 09.08.2016
“Two Ugly People” (Bill)

My colleague, from Russian Germans, told me that from childhood I felt how in western Ukraine they are being treated negatively toward the Russians.
I was surprised how she, having lived her whole life in Omsk, could feel it. It turns out at the age of 12 this chicken with a friend was on a tour in Lviv. Walking around the city, they decided to find out the time from the local uncle, and he did not answer the question "which hour", but called them "two wretches".
And now, 30 years later, I had to explain to her that “2 hours” is “2 hours” and not an insult.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №131876
 09.08.2016
How can a teacher with two kidneys complain about the material situation?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №131875
 09.08.2016
By the way, there seems to be no speed restrictions in India... And roads, frankly, too.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №131874
 09.08.2016
And to the divination.
At work, everything depends on the boss.
The company is not young, the company too. Repairs and new furniture.
In our department was sent to breakthrough a group of young designers.
The unloading of the furniture and its subsequent assembly were paid full salary + rent. In order not to delay the process, they were also encouraged to leave work earlier.
Yes, and in general, spoofing is regularly paid for with some plush, like done, released from lunch.
So far no one complained.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №131873
 09.08.2016
My son came from the garden.
What word is better?
Pizzetz or Ahuetz?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №131872
 09.08.2016
I was 5-6 years old, and as many took me for the summer to my grandmother in the village, which I was very happy, because in the city of interesting places only a playground in the yard, and in the village fields, forests, elevator, abandoned warehouses, a bunch of diverse animals.... and almost all the time you are given to yourself.

Everybody wants to have their own lounge, and I am no exception. The look fell on the old stove, and it was decided to start from the lighting, there was no light bulb, but there was a socket.

I did not find the necessary ammunition. Then I gathered all my knowledge about electricity and the powerful childhood logic, developed the "ideal plan". It was decided to take a nail, wrap it with an insulated light bulb and insert it into the socket. It only remained to make sure of the reliability of the design, that the nail will not fall out of the socket, and can only be checked in practice. Without a back-thinking thought and with complete confidence that all calculated nail with bare hands is sent into the hole. The rubber pads did their job and I was only greatly overturned. At this point, I realized that the bulb would not work, and the nail should be pulled out, and immediately, and I did this, in fact, - all with the same bare hands.

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