bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №34202
 08.08.2010
I don’t understand today’s youth who write “hard disk” and claim it’s laughing... In my time it was called Hard Disk Drive.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №34201
 08.08.2010
[KoT] epta (21:39:49 7/08/2010)
borrow money :D

[KoT] epta (21:40:22 7/08/2010)
I want to cook with you, but I want to cook myself. To be ignorant :D

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №34200
 08.08.2010
In the winter there were shortages, in the spring - rubber boots, summer brought a shortage of air conditioners. I think it will end in the autumn :(

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №34199
 08.08.2010
by Jura:
Why? →I think electromagnetic waves are distributed by volume.

The Roman:
in my room catches a hundred channels of communication (satellite TV, railway, wifi, all sorts of radio stations, teleoperators, satellite internet), then they have me in the room?)) That is, if there are fewer channels, the quality will be better.

"Julia" is out of the network

Romance: Fuck...he’s already been pushed out by the waves. I will now dream horrors.

How to fuck you at night the waves are pushed out of your home.

[ + 46 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №34198
 08.08.2010
Together with the whole world, the people of Karaganda ask:
You are where?
They answered:
I am here.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №34197
 08.08.2010
Singles: I want to accumulate money and remove all the moles. And the fat.
A to remove?
Lonely Ones: Let’s go!

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №34196
 08.08.2010
I just watched the picture: a light-salladed bush is driving, and behind him is a man on a Soviet motorbike, in a hat of uchanke (nothing that is on the street a month of 40 degrees of heat) and runs into the matyugalnik "Zayat, for-a-ayats, do you hear me?"
Falling into precipitation

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №34195
 08.08.2010
The people need spectacles and bread.
Why are you not walking naked with a button?

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №34194
 08.08.2010
andy
I think that "College" is intellectually a higher definition.

andy
Like two professors.

johnny
You are right, I suppose.

johnny
My husband and I cleaned the toilet yesterday.

andy
Thou art thou,

johnny
And you know, we didn’t agree about Kant.

andy
:D

andy
It was difficult to decide whether to lubricate the canteen with a hermetic or put a foam.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №34193
 08.08.2010
No one can hurt as much as the woman you love. c) Sj

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №34192
 08.08.2010
Just, from a conversation in the company, Husband (M), Wife (G):
by J. Oh, you just don’t know him! I was drunk yesterday.
Cognac, I fell into bed and began to offer me such nonsense!
So you agree already that although I drank one green tea, and yet I agreed to everything...

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №34191
 08.08.2010
I had a teacher Gurgenych at the institute. An old film operator who made a lot of good Soviet films and just a cool uncle.
Once he brought us a little movie box for a half-minute lecture.
This, he says, is the most funny thing you’ll see in life (and he didn’t lie) charged the movie camera and pushed the preface:
In the mid-1960s I filmed in Poland: War, Germans, guerrillas. by
Krakow Square filmed an episode of how the Germans shot down our plane, a pilot
He jumped with a parachute, and the Germans with their dogs took him captive.
Duble 1: the cascade jumped and landed. were arrested.
Director: How not that... he smoothly descended, like a saboteur, the viewer will not regret him...
Gurdjieff: What do you want?
Let’s wait for the wind.
Polish translator:- Please sir, we can of course wait, but so for reference, the last time in this place the wind was four hundred years ago, when they built this square, it is also square and around the house.
Then take a break until tomorrow. I organize the wind.
The director called to Moscow, from there to the headquarters of our army in Poland, and by the morning, a choked stuff entered the square, and with it a major with a soldier.
Director: Well, let’s, take off the breeze and show how your fan is blowing.
Major: Comrade director, this car is secret, so I’ll break it up at the last moment before shooting.
Director: And what stream can your carapace give?
Major: Only 10 degrees: from the first weakest to the tenth, but you will not need more than the first.
The Director: Major The general told me that you are doing my orders, and all my words are orders for you! I don’t need to give advice!
The fault, comrade director.
Understand, I need the wind not for a tenth, but for a tenth with a plus, press out all the juices from your column. That it was not just a wind, but a dramatic wind.
The Major said, “There is!” I went to cook the car.
Gurghenich finished the introduction, turned off the light and said, but now you will see the double 2...
The pilot jumped out with a parachute and just like in the first double does not rush down to the square. Suddenly, he seemed to see the Germans... and two meters from the ground, with a wild speed, he flies away first far away, and then, after flying to the houses, blows up from where he arrived. The Germans, as if caught by the air wave of the parachutist, will jump away as inflatable on the bridge along with dogs and a motorcycle. On the opposite side of the area are pressed out (all) windows. The parachutist, thank God, did not suffer, he landed after a couple of quarters, but the "Germans" were silent.
When the director recovered from shock, he asked the major:
What was it?
The major that it was a machine to blow off radioactive dust from combat equipment in the event of a nuclear conflict, and at the tenth level it blows down anything that weighs less than thirty tons. If you don’t need us anymore, let us go to the...

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №34190
 08.08.2010
Question to the Support Service:
– – – – –
Dear Support Service,
I want to save the movie on the disc, but the computer tells me that there is not enough space, so I have to save the label. If I want to watch the movie on another computer, it gives me an error that the file is not found. On my computer, the movie is very good! What is the problem?

With a friendly greeting

Katya Ivanova


The answer:
– – – – –
Dear Katya Ivanova,

You want to put a nork hat in your bag, but it doesn’t fit there.
So you take a sheet of paper and write on it that the shirt hangs in the closet and put the sheet in the bag - it fits there perfectly. But when you get a sheet at a friend's guest and read that the shirt hangs in the closet, do you open the closet and do not find the nork shirt there?
wallet = diskette hat = film sheet = label closet = computer mol in the closet = virus neighbor in the closet = hacker

and ;-)

With a friendly greeting

Service Support

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №34189
 08.08.2010
In the morning, Comrade Medvedev announced the change of the name of "militia" to "police", because from an etymological point of view the name does not correspond to the purpose.
Is our country burning?
Throw off the scissors and hose. We’re all going to break the tablets and shape the shape.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №34188
 08.08.2010
XXX is summer. It is hot. The flies. I bought them stickers and hanged them around the apartment. A week later, I realized that there was nothing to do, roying near a rubbish bowl, at least one creature clinged to the tapes. But I realized that I fucked them when I whisked those tapes.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №34187
 08.08.2010
What does Calvin Klein’s daughter feel when she looks at her father’s name written on cowards when a man is dressed in front of her?

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №34186
 08.08.2010
Her beauty was chaotically scattered throughout her body.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №34185
 08.08.2010
IIJIaM9I: so that the penis enters the bedroom
Thread: Fuck it
IIJIaM9I: Luggage
IIJIaM9I: a new definition for MS Windows
Orphaned :D
New version of MS! All in one place, all in one place!
IIJIaM9I: The new open-version of Unix...
"OS Analysis - try to enter differently!"

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №34184
 08.08.2010
A friend works in a household chemicals store... a aunt came up with the question "do you have mosquito ointment from the whole family?"

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №34183
 08.08.2010
xxxh: I think it is very indicative that of all the faculties of management, we did not manage to organize a party in honor of receiving diplomas.

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