I remembered one interview on television. On behalf of the author:

I lived in the United States for a while. I’m walking on the Texas Road, around the desert, all the business. The restaurant is called “Russian Kitchen”. I, well things, I think, for a thousand years did not eat real Russian cuisine, decided to go. In the menu all Russian, borscht, sleeve, pelmeni, pigeons and so on.

I ordered a borough. Bring something green and ground in a blender.

I ordered the pigeons. They bring a large dish, there are two salad leaves on it, in one pyramid rice is poured, in the other cooked farce.

I decided not to take any more risks with the orders, called the cook.

It turned out that the restaurant of Russian cuisine was held by two Chinese, they also cooked.

Pokémons in the states show the distance in meters than they cause a batheart in users

I thought before school exactly that German is any foreign language, because German; and Russian is meat, but it is simply not accepted to call it this way :)

On a nudist beach, a man stays with two girls wearing swimsuits:
Why don’t you follow the dress code?
You do not observe either.
– to?
You are in a hat.

The phrase - "I have a very good relationship with my ex," is very unlikely to the present.

Dmitry: I corresponded with her for two weeks, gentle and foolish, no guy. I agreed to go across the city, I know there is a good cafe. I dressed pretty, bought her flowers, everything was right. We met, she even better than in the photo. Effective such a brunette, curls, heels, a green dress with shades, I, honestly, embarrassed a little.
Well, go with her next to her, we talk about nothing, now, I think, we sit in the cafe, talk. And then suddenly I am like falling under the ground, flying somewhere, grumbling and knocking off my leg when I fall. I stumble and understand what made me unnoticed and the hell knows how to get out of here now.
I call this Katya, and she doesn’t fit, she’s scared, apparently. Oral, oral, are you finally alive? He asks. Yes, live, I scream, call someone for help, I can't get out myself, don't you see what? She walked for another fifteen minutes, no less, I lost her again. I brought, in the end, from the cafeteria of the waitress with an aspirant, I scratched over it. Go out all in the dust, the head in the dust of some, and she stands, smiles, I was taken by evil.
Listen, I say, I could have called him soon, because I could have trembled or drowned there with methane. And she, even if she was honeysome, only spanked, say, say, thank you for not leaving at all, I would sit there like a puppy.
What is the date when such conversations happen? And the shirt is all dirty and the heel hurts, it hurts to walk. Okay, I say, sorry, let me take you to the metro. Go back, both of us are silent.
Soon after, I realized that this wasn’t Catherine. Although the brunette too, and curly, and dressed in green, but that shoe had heels, and this sandal was like the gladiator. And the bouquet is completely different, a yellow one. Mystery in three lists.

Catherine: I met him in the chat, nothing in the photo, he writes with humor. We spoke for half a month, the interests seem to coincide, the poems both love, decided to meet in real. We walk around the city, we go, we talk, the weather is nice, dinner. I see a coffee shop on the corner, you want, I ask, let’s go? He is silent, does not respond. Maybe expensive for him, I think, although I came with a bouquet, not a puddle, so. Just, I say, we sit down, we drink coffee - again silence.
I turn – no one. That is, no one at all, and my cavalier is not, disappeared "like a light stone of the wind." Whether I was upset that I immediately pulled into the cafe, or I just didn't like it, it was so hamsky.
In any case, men do not do this, I was preparing for a date for half a day. Back home, I sat down, thought, and added his page to the blacklist – why am I so ignorant?

Catherine II: On my birthday, I sat down with my girlfriend after work, I drank coffee with cakes, she gave me my favorite fresie.
Then they split up, and I just left the cafe, as I hear that someone is calling me. I turn around, no one like, then I look further, the well without a hole, I look, and there is a guy, apparently fell there, and can not get out.
Well, what to do, we need to help, the Ministry of Emergencies first called - useless, then the doorkeeper of some non-Russian found in the corner, I ask him, he does not understand, only smiles. Then I went back to the coffee shop, where the men-servitors found the lawn in the suitcase and put it in the lounge.
There is a pretty cute guy, dirty all, right. And angry at me, despicable of what, to say, so long saved him! That, I think, is me instead of thankfulness. I told him that I think he was silent, then apologized, offered to go to the subway, and to me what, I went there anyway.
We go, and he touches me, touches me, then asks, “And you, Katya?” I replied, I guessed, and what? No, he says, very nice, my name is Dima. This is our birthday, we have been dating for six months, love seems to us. I sometimes annoy him, and he calls me Catherine II.
I now tell all my friends, there is nothing to sit in social networks and waste time on empty correspondence. You want a serious relationship – go into real life, only there with normal guys and you can get to know – so and write in your mollusks, internet fools.

Where do you dream of working?
Do I dream of working?! to

In a bunch of misconceptions.

As a child, I believed that in men, hair on the head grows to a certain limit and ceases to grow. There were no bad examples in front of me.

I work for Mr. It is necessary to conclude a contract to cut trees from the territory. I send letters with a request for the cost: please send the cost of the work according to the assignment.... prints, company forms, the assignment for 5 pages with all possible information, including. Height and thickness of trees. One of the answers from "solid" offices: "Well, this must be seen."

to this
"The Mistakes of Childhood"
When I was a child, I thought that anchoos was a fish.
I want to upset you along with Wikipedia and other Google, it’s a fish!

Whole life counted

Only male singing birds sing. Only recently Google suggested that about 70% of species of singing birds sing both sexes, and that the reasons for singing are not quite clear, i.e. This is not unambiguous "I am a male, so cool, but all the females to me."

xxx: In some fantastic novel was: "The striptease at zero gravity got a second breath, especially for the ladies with great talents."

YYY: It’s five, striptease is great.

XXX is Nenochi. I think that weightlessness is just the manna of heaven for the size of the third and larger. The virgins in the crowds have to siege the ISS, it is strange that this does not happen.

XXX: Do you do that? How to deal with problems with the joints and the skeleton as a whole?

XXX is an entirely different piece. In general, it is useful to bring. Astronauts are not boring. Imagine: for six months in orbit, you see a woman only as part of the American crew, and it would be better for you not to see her... And here the bat - a transport ship with a team of striptease. The important thing is not to be a man.

Pokémon are not annoying. It irritates the hysteria of those who are irritated by Pokémon.

This can only happen to me. I woke up somehow not very well, I slept. So I decided to take the bus so I’t be late to work. I go, kimara, I don’t touch anyone. I get to the stop, I go out and there a woman’s voice screams at me. I turn around and see that the voice belongs to a beautiful girl, and I see her for the first time. She approached me, approached my ear and whispered:
Stick the width.
The Noop! >///<

>> In other words, what rights do feminists fight for? What concrete steps are taken? Maybe they do a good thing, but I, a fool, don’t know.

Did you not have fun reading, but did you have fun in Google? I sympathize.

It is not about the woman, but about the woman, and it is about the woman, and it is about the woman.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Pink is not the color of femininity, but the color of stupidity and irresponsibility. And feminine can be in any color: in black and red, and in green, and in blue and pink.

Children’s Misconceptions

My mother is an engineer. When she was sitting with me in the decree, just in the early 1990s, the family had problems with money and she had to work as a cleaner in her own organization. So I thought until seven years ago that engineer and cleaner were the same thing.
All professions are necessary, all professions are important. and :)

A man who closes the shells. The reduced version.
A seminarist and a Jew.
Jew: And when you finish, who will you become?
Seminarist: The priest of the temple.
The Jew: And then what?
Seminary by Patriarch.
The Jew: And then what?
Seminarist: Where is it higher?
Jew: Well I don’t know, we have one boy...

Here is why I wonder why the Aitish have not yet created any cool indie band to sing chennai-type:

I will never be the same.
I wrote this code.
Using three languages
Including your own mouth

by Java! by Java!
Save me, save me, I am suffocated by Jáva!

and?

My daughter is falling asleep with her leg removed from the doll. does not give. ( by
WOW: And my friends love to play in the pathologist.
I would play the role of a corpse.
SS: My 4 year old son cut off the hands and legs of all the dolls and removed the soup from them. In the fireplace.
The soup has won.)