bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №69189
 28.08.2012
I always liked video advertising.
Take a loan for two years to bring your child to school. Next year, the child no longer needs to go to school.

[ + 47 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69188
 28.08.2012
X: My husband plays an online game where he breeds horses.
X: He has been playing for two years. He went in there a lot of money, collected a collection of supercoatings and so on.
X: Recently I’m getting stressed that he goes to bed only after night. And if you lie down earlier, then at this time you get up and go to the comp.
x: because it is exactly at 21.11 in Moscow he needs to Happen the Unicorns!

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69187
 28.08.2012
The whole house had been without water all day.
I thought it was all standard - the pipe broke in the basement.
In the evening, I went out to the store for bread, saw the repairmen crawl in the basement, strengthened in my thought.
But when I returned from the store, I heard a heartbreaking story about how a man from the neighboring entrance for a bottle of vodka cut the pipes and handed them over to metal!
And because of this, the whole day without water!!! Do you imagine?? to
A man bought a vodka.
thx: >.<

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №69186
 28.08.2012
I mean, I’m going to cook. This is an unprecedented event. I hope you have a strong stomach.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY))))))
Give me some coal ;)
Or buy an adrenaline? :D
XXX: Then it was marble.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №69185
 28.08.2012
WOT (World of Tanks)
XXX: I'm in your throat
GC: Tell me the address, tell me it in the face.
XXX: The City of Belarus!! to
Q: Do you live in a city without a home?
XXX is yes!!! to
CCZ: Immediately you can see, the pigeons were raised - did not teach the caps to turn off.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №69184
 28.08.2012
There is such a remarkable company for the production of incandescent lamps, "Kalachnikov" is called.
Such a warm feeling arises when the manager makes an order...
"30 Kalashnikovs and ammunition to them!!and "

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №69183
 28.08.2012
A colleague served an apple.
And I take it and ask: "Is this Antonovka or Podosinovik?" o_O
Morality is simple: Monday is a tough day (:

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №69182
 28.08.2012
Fuck, you are a good guy!
No, there is no need for science.)
xxx: straight hands dominate mostly
YYY: Not very widespread in these days...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №69181
 28.08.2012
of the Habra.
Exactly what iron does Apple make?
2: Obviously, the bodies of devices
The “slide to unlock” button.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №69180
 28.08.2012
I sit here at work. Members among themselves:
Did you create the planet?
and yes.
How to change the size?
Percentage of the land. You better say, the stars have already made that fly?
Well...
Some strange feelings.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №69179
 28.08.2012
News on one of the WoW fan sites about the sale of circles with a game symbol.

One of the comments: "Even for a military ticket make covers and for a certificate with three =(. Thanks to you =D"

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №69178
 28.08.2012
In a dream, she said to her husband, “It’s better than cookies.”
You are a master of compliments.! to

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №69177
 28.08.2012
From Habr:
yyy: And here your provider has a cable cut off and you are left without mail, contacts, music and documents.
xxx: Well, I’ll go to the cinema, a bar, a cafe, a walk, to friends, and so on.
ZZZ: Oh well! Look, he has a real off-line life!! to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №69176
 28.08.2012
A cosmetologist (a colorful Jewish woman) did my hair removal as if she had guessed that I was a quarter German, and decided to take revenge for my people! But I held up courageously and did not make a sound. Now I think I will be able to endure torture.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №69175
 28.08.2012
Do you know how terrible it is at night in the headphones to hear the cat through the roar of the blindness slowly moving around the apartment?
WOW: Worse, if you look at the paranormal phenomenon, hear a whistle behind your back, relieved you think "This is a cat!", and then you remember that the cat you have never re-born.

[ + 46 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69174
 28.08.2012
How irritating are the grandmothers who say about themselves with such a child: “I have a child!...I have a child!”"... At the same time, the upbringing of this “child” is so chilling that being with him in the same room is not for the weak-nervous.
Fuck, give such a completely natural for the female body process of the Order of Honorary Pigs, and let them calm down and silence, finally (

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №69173
 28.08.2012
Correspondence on one website:

xxx: Dear users, please tell me how to view pages after ten?
YYY: This is a terrible secret. But I will open it. Open the 11th.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №69172
 28.08.2012
xxx: Recently engaged in a sinful affair with a girl, tried to be quieter, because the parents were in the neighboring room
No one would have suspected anything if at the most responsible moment she had not cut off her leg.
The result was exactly the opposite, her screams except that the dead did not hear.
At dinner, the girl hid her eyes and sat red like cancer, I desperately tried not to roast, my mom looked with jealousy, and my dad with pride.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №69171
 28.08.2012
SP> I’ll talk to her. Although it would be cynical to invite her to the same.
SP> the restaurant where she works. In her job shift :)

She will definitely come :)

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69170
 28.08.2012
He was recently in a trauma, while sitting in a row, had time to be struck by the genius of some women and the humor of our people:
A couple (husband and wife) runs into the office, as is heard from the story, the husband is bitten by a dog, at the end there is the following dialogue:
Doc: In order to avoid infection in the next 6 months you will have to come here and get injections.
Q: Does it not affect pregnancy?
Doc (after a 3-second pause): Can you wonder which one of you is pregnant?? to

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