The “broken phone.”
We needed signs on the door with the inscription "Cassa". I go to the administrator.
- Order, plz, in the ACHO tables.
And what size?
I take the A4 sheet, bend it in half, show it.
and here. Half of A4. Everything is understandable?
Everything is understandable.
They bring in a week. Monster size 40 to 60 cm.
Are you really? – I ask.
What this? What I ordered, I brought.
What kind of thing did it look like, nothing suspicious?
and no. Our job is not to think, but to do.
I find out the path that led to this result.
According to the results, the administrator transferred the change and wrote "half A4".
The second administrator wrote in the ACHO "A4 half".
The A4 was divided into 2 and the A2 was received.
I ordered it as A2.

Then I read Murphy’s Laws.

The SMS:
I tried to transfer you 1000 rubles, but I failed. Try me, maybe you can do it?

With me on a term in one squadron served a couple: Pouh and Nebiok. They were called no different than "Phuy and not fucking" and put together on any work or costume. There was also a companion by the name of Razebayev, which, of course, everyone pronounced through a firm sign (the justice of which he proved by a personal example throughout his term of service). Well, at work, I met a man by the name of Corroeid. Ironically, he was the head of the materials quality department at a woodworking plant.

I have a best friend. A fun girl, but she doesn't like to understand anything thoroughly. Knowledge is superficial, for which I often heard detailed explanations of certain phenomena.

And some time ago, six and a half years ago, we talked to her and I complained to her about my loneliness. And then she, knocking herself on her forehead, cries out:

“I know who you need! You perfectly fit with each other! You are both so boring!*”

In a few weeks she will introduce me to her good friend, and what do you think? With this beautiful, smart, knowing almost everything, we have been together for six years, and we really perfectly fit each other.

There is a water park at TRC Peterland and there is a pit with a depth of probably 5-6 meters for freedives and aqualangists. And here I was a beginner "freediver", several times calmly reached the bottom, but I couldn't lie on the bottom - the volume of the lungs pushed out. Having done hyperventilation on top, dive and while immersed specifically devastated the lungs completely, going to the bottom with a toporic. Lieing on the bottom of this pool for 20 seconds, he looked at the floating legs of the floaters from above and decided to pop up. But then the difficulty arose... I floated out of the feelings of those 4 meters of eternity. There was no panic, but it was very difficult. The oxygen burned from powerful movements - instantly. A little more and I would start swallowing water from spasms.

Now I write and my hands sweat from memories.

I go to the Gazelle route. Next to me is a young man with a little son (4 years old). In front of him are three young girls in full attributes - sweat STRONG above the knee. The girls are fun talking. Suddenly the little boy pushes a serious face to his father’s ear and whispers very loudly, pointing his finger to the girls:

Daddy and Daddy! See also! The trousers!

Immediately the red-haired boy whispered to his son in response:

Closer and quieter! I see!

It was long ago. My brother and I came home from school and called my mother. We found out that the chicken in the oven for lunch was baked. I opened the oven and there was a chicken. But strangely pale, in some crumbs (sugares turned out to be), a carrot runs out of the puddle. They got (first chicken from the oven, then carrots from chicken). The chicken hardly cuts or chews.

My mom came in the evening and was terrified. It turned out that my father was running home before us, who was drunk. I ran for breakfast. And here - chicken in the oven, you can paint before the roots. This chicken in the bag, the other from the freezer! ), crushing in sweaters and pushing for beauty her in a juppy carrots - in the oven. For 20 minutes, because I had to run, or they’ll all drink.

How many years have passed, we still remember.

XXX: The Girlfriend Told)) More from her face



A few years ago, I started taking care of a man. I complained that my back hurt. He immediately suggested: It is you in the bathroom you need to bring and massage to do, you will be like new! I’ll finally have sex! But in the bathroom, I took a swimsuit, so that I didn't immediately swim, but how to look decent. Well, I lie down, he does the neck massage. You, he says, here the rope on the swimsuit has unfolded. I am bound!!! to



Then I asked him when he brought me home: and where is sex??? Did he really think that a woman with a man goes to the bathroom for a massage??? You said it, you didn’t say it straight!



She told him to have sex the next time. agreed in general.



She says she was just extremely surprised at this situation, and I think he was right.



I agree, the ideal man.



zzz: And the perfect woman, who even from the second attempt, but still said exactly what she wants))

That was a long time ago, during the Soviet Union. My mom’s girlfriend was pregnant without her husband. I decided to give birth. Dad did not look for his child. Pride did not allow. At the end of the day, I decided to go shopping. I found a good dining service. held the turn. I bought. be heavy. I called a taxi. In general, she was tired, tired of overstress, but she started giving birth...right in a taxi. A taxi driver was forced to give birth to her. Then I came to the birthplace. He took it from the maternity home and eventually married.Vida felt his responsibility to the baby.

At the age of 93, I was driving as an accompaniment, with a group of schoolchildren to Peter for an excursion. The case was on March 31. Among the adults were two teachers and the director of the school. Well, and a whole wagon of varying sexes of large-age balbes. We, of course, tried as far as we could to maintain discipline, but our strength was barely enough to keep track of whoever stood behind the train, did not smoke, and did not get drunk. The schoolchildren (10th grade) felt the freedom, scattered on the scratch. The wagon sounded whisper, rust, topot, music from cassettes. By night, the children were tired, humbled, and we somewhat rushed them over a bunch. They breathed, drank minerals, and the fairy tales fell as well. However, not all of our guards slept that night. A group of hooligans, armed with tubes with toothpaste, insidiously penetrated the teacher's coupe, and cared for authority and discipline, committed an act of disgusting vandalism over the leadership. It was the teacher of history. His baldness was covered with a thick layer of striped blendomet. The teacher of English got a vulgar makeup, and the director was simply put on the face of everything that was left. Your submissive servant did not get toothpaste. In addition, I slept very "uncomfortable" wrapped in a blanket with my head. Only my feet out. Therefore, the craftsmen didn’t come up with anything better than making me a pedicure. The lakes were chosen varied. Having completed their black affair, the wanderkings broke up in places and fell asleep.

Early in the morning. The teachers woke up, looked at each other, scratched their teeth and went to wash. Then quietly, in order not to restore the bullts, they gathered all the scattered clothes in a bunch, bound a long garland from it and hanged along the corridor, carefully interwoven the perils and not climbing on the nodes. Then we cleaned up in our cup. They brought themselves a status-appropriate look, and sat down to drink tea with cookies, as if nothing had happened.

When all our Hogwarts finally pierced their eyes, it turned out that not only we were spotted with pasta. With thorns and stinks, they broke up the garland, pushed in the toilet, washed the evening makeup, and went to us to complain about life and each other. - San Igrić, I have a cough пропалааа... I have to brush my teeth with someone else... And tell them that we also need to go to the toilet...

Eventually, order was restored, things were found, students were washed, dressed and fed. And the only reminder of that first-April night was just a chic pedicure on my feet. It was a good lac. I held for half a year.

XXX: I sat on the plane next to a family couple. They were looking at a movie collection, and I told the woman that one of the movies is just tearing through. She replied that her husband is very sentimental when it comes to sad films. Her husband got angry and told her that it wasn’t true and didn’t have to share it with a stranger. After a while, she grabbed my hand and secretly asked me to look at my husband, who was watching the film I recommended, and cried, rubbing my tears with towels.



A real man is so confident in himself and his masculinity that he cheers without embarrassing anyone!

worked in school. In the dust of the quarrel, one second-class student called his classmate fat. She called to herself, repaired the imaginary glasses on her nose, and began to talk about the fact that it was ugly to judge a man by his appearance, and even more insulting, that the word could offend, that the girl was not complete, but apparently from insult to her he wanted to hit her... The boy quietly listened to everything, and then said, “Well, I understood everything. I won’t call her fat, I’ll call her stupid.”

xxx: The most beautiful and cool boy is a high school student from my school, who was wearing a crushed cloth and tunnels in his ears, now a sleepy worker of a gathering with a child and a faint face.

Maybe the rebel lives in it, but cool and interesting it doesn’t really look.



Yyy: But now he really wants to die, as he dreamed

I once had a flight. We were still on the ground, it took a long time to fly. The girl in the position, and, in addition, with the child, made a note to the lady, loudly roaring a matte on a half-plane, which in response received a blast. The husband of the pregnant woman did not stand aside, so Deboshirke also got. The result was a delayed flight, waiting for police. It was necessary to see how instead of a rough mother-in-law in the sight of the police appeared a victim of horrible cruel male violence. The police have no right to turn her and force her out, and the lady did not want to leave the plane lovingly, arguing that there is no one guilty party in the conflict, say, let the family be taken too. The boatman whispered about something with the family, everyone was taken out. The first to the bus separately from the family of the village Deboshirka, said, why do you go in the same bus, suddenly get there again. The doors closed, the booth began to leave, and the family waved her pen from the trap and returned to the plane.

Here’s why – include the 2020 Italian family comedy “Italian holidays”:

Normal life situations, real simple and understandable heroes, warm and pleasant atmosphere - the same people as us!



You include a domestic modern comedy - or a blackwoman, or an unwavering drunkenness, or a major with an overwhelming number of people, or a puppy... you stop believing in the heroes immediately...



Can our filmmakers not make a good movie about real normal people?

I go out to the backyard of college, and there is my group, standing, smoking, carefully opposite a bunch of dry leaves. How not to defile them? I run, beat the dog, and there is a pen in it. Those who roam, say - smoke, wait for the next 🤣

XXX: The condoms of course went wild. But they are still much cheaper than bringing a child to school.

Small winning wars are like drugs. Over time, the previous dose ceases to work, and it needs to be increased.

We are on vacation. I am a husband:
Today is the day I dreamed of as a child. For breakfast – cake, then into the park on the carousel. Lunch with ice cream. For dinner a cake.
The husband:
I am for. All with cognac.

Why are athletes who change Russian sports citizenship to a different one considered traitors, and officials who drive bablo abroad in cars and have foreign passports in the safe are impeccable patriots?