bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №102162
 26.08.2014
Customer: "the feeling that not all products are popular, but only some popular"

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102161
 26.08.2014
from ZH

After reading the Bible, interest in books disappeared entirely.
Do not burn them, please.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №102160
 26.08.2014
I do not have any annoyance, I return as soon as I arrive.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №102159
 26.08.2014
I go today to the next store of household appliances, consider goods, pretend prices, suddenly I see - with a blessed smile, a seller-consultant steals to me, apparently eager to work.
Well, and I walked towards him and stunnedly ask:
Good day! Can I help you something?
Five seconds of full stupor of the crazy guy, and he gives me:
Buy something, please.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №102158
 26.08.2014
Ladies and gentlemen! I would like to pay tribute to Monday morning with a minute of mourning.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №102157
 26.08.2014
and Brenson:
Tushkan - dumb))) I put on the call a calculator from the Nightmare on the street of Vyazyov and, as it happens, safely forgot about it. Well, I had a nightmare of my whole life when at 3 a.m. someone called her. She is asleep, and through her sleep she hears a child’s voice nearby saying, “Once, two, Freddy will take you.”

and Brenson:
But now she does not need to take a mortgage: bricks for the cottage is enough)))))

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102156
 26.08.2014
In a joke about loneliness, books as an example, not going out into society and sitting on the pope exactly.

And books, and lonely was, and not lonely too a lot of time - one ha. A single person, no matter who I know - gave myself a marathon (every meeting, even not necessarily nice - to try out for a meeting). For 2 days of the 64 encountered - 2 do not meet and send, 3 divorce for money, 43 married, 6 - as a zombie scare, scared, especially on the offer to help deliver bags (tapet, push the wheel or just a snack ice cream). One was generally delighted - called the police when I pulled a bouquet of flowers just like that, and went on. She cried – wait.

I went to the store and bought a cat sauce. A young saleswoman with a ring looks at me, grieving, lubricating the tonal cream with a bleach. My husband is beating? I am interested. Immediately in the grass. I sent away with sausages. He went, bought more white lilies, splashed on the shelf, and swallowed. I ran to the stop, "thank you", uncomfortable knocked in the cheek and licked myself. and returned. They complained to each other for their lives before dawn. The next day she resigned.

Now I’m upset by the very fact of experiments in terms of dating...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №102155
 26.08.2014
Ikea was always surprised: they will get any h*ni, and everything together looks offgenic.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №102154
 26.08.2014
and Oxwell:
Maybe a friend is hopeless.

by kroshe4ka:
No to. When they started dating, he wasn’t upset by the fact that half of his friends suffered from her. What is it about?))

by Alekto:
Think it’s kind of like. Friends do not advise badly.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №102153
 26.08.2014
Announcement- "I sell cats at a low price, don't miss your chance and you will have a beautiful green-eyed dog at home in the form of a cat"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №102152
 26.08.2014
XX: What do you think about the goats?
Yyy: If the goose is not against, then why not?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №102151
 26.08.2014
xxx: I was not studying physics, I was studying computer science in the universe, and physics was somewhat easier with us compared to physics.
YYY: That’s why computer games have such a special physics!

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №102150
 26.08.2014
Lucrecia: he left her and completely ignored about two months, that is, first she pretended herself that something happened to him, then suffered from suspicions, then she was finally told that he is now friends with another, in general, goat, I shield
Lucrecia: Well, she didn't have enough, she updated her closet, lost fifteen kilos and started shaving her legs.

I wonder why this cat left her.)

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №102149
 26.08.2014
I bring as much as I can - suitcase on wheels
I saw your suitcase, you wandered with it.
We were young and as much as we could.
WOW: It was 2 days ago

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102148
 26.08.2014
I have a kindergarten under my windows... and every morning the dumb dwarfs are running through my throat – they don’t want to go there. The Tree of Pain of 300 Spartans.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №102147
 26.08.2014
Lev: You answer me, what is this country and its inhabitants?I am thirty years old and I still do not understand it.
LEV: Imagine a man going into the woods, his mother into the woods, there is only a forest hundreds of kilometers around, even if they die - they will not find. Forests, birds, berries, whites, beauty, even paintings write. And with all that, with all that... Go in the middle of the trail!!! Tell me, what kind of people are they?? to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №102146
 26.08.2014
Kaboska (16:46:09 25/08/2014)
Do you know that your superblaster perforator works when we have children in our guests?? to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №102145
 25.08.2014
Once there was a conversation about young doctors... For many years I have licked my teeth in one clinic, my wisdom teeth are subject to planned removal (i.e. how they will start to bother, running to the doctor)) One removed an elderly surgeon, crushed all the gums, crushed with a hammer and a toothbrush, muddled this, healed for six months. The second is a young girl surgeon, maybe not immediately after honey, but nevertheless... I got into this chair, the whole life has passed before my eyes, everything is darkening, I feel this girl is squeezing slightly and something with a sharp smell in the nose is swept - an experienced nurse has overwhelmed with anesthetic "and what? He is very healthy" I sat for another half an hour, let go, I go to the second round. Well, in general, how she pulled out the crumbling top eight with one handy move, I didn’t even notice. Here is your experience.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №102144
 25.08.2014
Check out the list of products prohibited for sale:

Rocket and space systems, communications and control systems for military purposes and regulatory and technical documentation for their production and operation.

Thus e. Have there been cases?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №102143
 25.08.2014
But you say, it’s hard to agree with women.

Baby, we meet tomorrow.
Yyyy, at what time is it?
XXX is tomorrow.
YYYY: Diema, the time?
XXX is tomorrow.
YYY: At how much?
XXX is yes.

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