I watched my nephews play.
Boy (5 years old): I am now your husband. Sorry for smelling tobacco.
Girl (3 years old): Can you give me money? I forgot it at home.
I am so happy with my sister, she has a good family.

I went today from the supplier to the subway.I look at a stand on which they write about some coffee.And there are sandwiches-the main menu...The inscription struck me off my feet "We know what should lie between the pancakes!"))))

xxx: You will get to the street, there turn to the left, on the wall in the street will hang a poster - iPhone repair, you are there
...
yyy: came, found, well, the street, it is in such shit iPhones and repair. And the boys stood near the poster, I thought it was they who hanged him. Let them replace other people’s iPhones

I go on the street. There are two bombs behind. They are silent. and here is one with such a philosophical intonation: "On the one hand, such a good day... and the other - neither I am happy. " and again silence ))))) Neither to take or add

Application to IT department
The lights burned in the bathroom. Change them for us. Urgently!and "

I only listen to Russian rap. Away from the West!
YYY: Guys, seriously, I’m the only one on the planet who knows that rap is a rhythmic American work invented by blacks?

How to help a foreigner pronounce the sound "s": very simple! A person should long pronounce the sound "u" (u-u-u-u-u) and at the same time start to smile!
Best of good.

And Tom too:
This is:
Why are you so nervous in Russia? In our country, people walk quietly behind the training car, behind the bus. They don’t run out, they don’t run out, they don’t try to risk their lives. Always wait for a man to panic. You will always miss if you need to cross the crossroads to the left. Regardless of the car price.
What’s wrong with you, right?

And you live in Russia, smart man.

I live in Russia. And I do not cease to crack at the number of aggressively-minded dwarfs. Especially on the roads.

M: It is true. He has been passionate about tourism all his life, and she is a housekeeper. Like Friday, and I'm not talking about holidays, so he's on the trip, and she's home. I rarely see them fighting. Her husband, as she said, did not do homework. So they lived their whole life almost without crossing.

Well, we reached out in parallel courses even before the golden wedding.
An option that has the right to exist.
------------
Galina Vishnevskaya was asked in an interview how they managed such a long unconflict marriage with Rostropovich, so she said - And when did we argue? Then he’s on tours, then I’m on tours, and when both houses are busy all day long, it’s not so bad.

From the dance floor:
Two women’s voices behind my back:
Do you have a new ring?
and no.
But I haven’t seen him before.
It is not my hand.

I sit with a friend in the morning.
Why do you dream of NVIDIA 3G?
to the warming.

<ry> there is no printer at home, went to print tickets to the courtyard photo service
<ry> well such a door in the wall and in a tiny room a thousand-looking boy squeezes, copies laminates, prints, in a word, a good boy. There is a small line.
<ry> I give him a flash, I say, there are two paedefs in the root, print me h/b. And I hear the most disgusting thin voice from the turn: “It’s not right to say ‘two pedefs’ but ‘two files in the.pdf format’ Oh, I have these humanities!”
<ry> I have been in the mood since the morning was not very, I just wanted to break off the turn, referring to the source of sound. I turn around, and this man under the eye has such a nice finch. Some people learn nothing from life.

After the injury, the finger on the hand does not feel cold. I shake their wife behind their foreheads and say with a dead voice: “Mozgias... I need brains...”
She answers: "Very noticeable..."

From chat WOT (August 26):
X: children 15-20 years old! You only have a few days of freedom! It warms my soul!
Y: Do you think they won’t miss classes?
Z: You are 100% fucking here.

The candidate for mayor of Moscow, Mikhail Degtyarev, in case of his victory, promised to allow gay parades, but only “at night with lights and without sound amplifiers”.

I do not know. Worse than gay parades - only gay parades at night, when a crowd of gay men with lamps approach you from the dark...and all this in complete silence.

Didactogen: My wife and children went on vacation, I’ve been living alone for a week, and all this time there’s one question, if the liquid terminator can be hollow inside and thick a couple of nickons outside, if it can, if it will be more Earth that would cover its entire surface, then it would close the sun and the process of photosynthesis stopped, cataclysms would start and all people would die out, and he would then collect robots and iron creatures lived to eat.

She brought home a cat from a veterinarian (castrated the poor). The cat withdrew from anesthesia, raises his head with a muddy eye and screams sadly: "meaaa...". At this time, the TV advertisement of the STC and the voice on the whole room:"Where are my eggs?and "

In Russia, it is prohibited to sell alcohol for cash.

> So I see a crowd of hoppers with VISA cards...

C picaboo
by Torsedor:
I bought an apartment. has moved.
Entrance of PPC.
What was painted, there was almost a full bowl of paint and paint Scotch.
He looked around the contour and painted the door of the elevator with markers.
Within an hour, the inscription appeared:

"X...y to you, not purity"

All good neighbors!! to

There are disadvantages of working close to home:
I can’t even break the headphones.