Coming to Accounting.

I sit on a computer.

Running Accountant - Eyes of 50

Girls, what to do? ! to ? to ! to ? to ! to ? to

And what happened?

The boss yesterday asked to send N amount to the supplier, was drunk, wrote a text message so that there were no questions in the morning.

Now he calls and says, "I didn't tell you anything yesterday, I was in the shit. Take a phone.”

And he has in my contacts recorded the Red Berry Goat.

I changed his name in contacts, and in SMSs he is not changed! ! to

I was tormented for 20 minutes.

The programming

Do something.

Eventually I gave up like that...

One of the creators of the theory of controlled nuclear synthesis, the academician of the USSR Academy of Sciences Mikhail Aleksandrovich Leontovich did not like jackets, necklaces and walked everywhere, dressed in a simple way. One day, he and his colleagues met at the airport with a delegation from the United States who flew to Moscow for a symposium. One American professor, having received a baggage, began to look for a carrier. Leontovich was caught in his eyes in a worn cowboy, and the American handed him a heavy suitcase and a dollar. Leonovich cried out, but I put the donos in the car.

How surprised was the American scientist when he saw that the symposium was opened by this known carrier.

During the break, a confused overseas guest approached Leontovich with an apology:

Sorry, I insulted you with my dollar bill. Let me take her.

No is! Leontovich answered proudly. I earned that dollar honestly.

It should be noted that at the moment with writers in the world things are going well. There is a lack of readers.

eight rubles

I earned the first eight rubles - when a friend and I came to the vegetable market, the seeds to bite, crawl. And one seller offered tomatoes to be guarded while he was in business. We were 11 years old.
I sold all the tomatoes at the average market price. People approached and asked. Asked to sell.
I asked the neighbor at the place:
How much are your tomatoes worth?
He put on five copies. The goods were terribly beautiful.
This owner comes and let us say that the price is too low for such a product. And then asked the "neighbor" how much he sold and looked at the empty pots in his house!!! He gave me five and three rubles!! to

He would trade his goods for ten more days.
And then two boys in a couple of hours, with angelic eyes, sold beautiful tomatoes, wholesale, but for retail. Not knowing anything about trade.

It was in mid-July.
When my uncle offered to work for him: to sell tomatoes, we and Lechka agreed, not thinking!
They ate ice cream and candy. But his conscience rebounded and he gave the money to his mother. My mother looked at me and my father looked respectfully at me.
I earned 150 rubles in a month!!! Would you see my parents’ eyes when I pulled out the money!!! Rubles and rubles.
It was a bunch of money!

A new school year has begun. I did not go to the market anymore. Students and classmates were more interested.

There is no place for fear in my work. If you show fear, you are all dead.
Who are you working for?
Teacher in kindergarten.

My husband and I became parents for the first time. He was 20, I was 18. He took me to the nursery.



I give birth. Oral I am in the process or not I do not remember. I remember only that the thought was constantly revolving in my head, "just not matom." And here is the baby at the midwife, the first whisper. I’m tired and I can’t believe it’s over. And then the midwife throws the phrase out loudly: "Oh, what a Chubaisic!"



My tired brain sees an analogy with electricity and doesn’t understand what it means. He searches for other options, but does not find a decryption. I ask, “In the sense?” “Look what a red man!” And he smiles. I see. How do you know what color your hair is? When was he born here? I can only see that it is shallow, hair is long.



She washed her son, she swallowed, she gave me. And he continues, “Who’s your red? Probably with Dad.” And then I realize that my hair is really red. No one has to be like that. I am light pink. My dad is black. “No,” I answered on the machine, “Our dad is black.” "Mmmm, understandably," the midwife pronounces long and disapprovingly looks at me leaving the chamber.



My brain begins to panic. How is it? What is a genetic disorder? I try to remember what there was in genetics at school. by Fig. What is Genetic Chemistry? I do not remember anything like that. You just gave birth.”



For some reason I was terrified. Stress seems to have affected. I lie down and think how to talk to relatives. Not his husband, but his parents. Really terrible. "How to drink, they will decide what has gone on. I will say the height, I will say the weight, I will not say the color of the hair," I decided.



The nurse just brought me the phone so that I could call my own. He is turned off. It was I before the nursery on the request to "disconnect the phone" instead of the sound to turn off, cut it out silently. I don’t remember the pin. Absolutely. The two. The nurse came in and gave me her phone. I picked up my husband, he dictated me a pin. I call back from my own. When I talked to my mom, it was over an hour. There is nowhere to pull further. It was time to call his parents.



I call. And my mother immediately handed him out to me with an unstoppable tirade in the style of aunt Trindychi: "Oh, we've all learned it ourselves. I got a call half an hour ago. We were told that everything went well, and that a boy, and that 54 cm, and that 4100, and that RED!!!" And a pause. and pause! “Everything floated...” I thought and answered affirmatively. Words have disappeared. I can say nothing more.



And she, apparently, desperately waiting for me to wait for something apart, continues: "Oh, well, you are tired, rest, gain strength! Eat well and be smart. There is milk! Okay, you must be red! Go to my grandfather!” Something else is still talking, but I can’t hear it.



“To my grandfather!” My brain is attached. To your grandfather! Such relief, neither before nor after, I never felt again.



P.S I don't know if my grandfather or my husband and I just combined the genes, but the second son is also red. And the color is even more saturated and brighter than the older man was in his childhood.

Why do people jump with a parachute? and :)

Yyy: Because if you jump without a parachute, you can crumble to death.

Every shepherd knows how dangerous it is to scare a flock. The first person he will hit will be him.

Run, rabbit, run

Fate encountered us with the Rabbit in the Decanate. I don’t remember in the corridor. But he hated me suddenly and furiously. It happens. Sometimes I act on the human psyche prophetically. That is, intuition tells the individual the consequences of our encounter and immediately adjusts it to the right order. Luckily, the Teacher Rabbit walked on the neighboring stream and did nothing to us. If only I would have gone out of Miss Lula. Once he took some crazy electrical safety license from us, and then I flew all three. The rabbit celebrated.
I am glad that our body has recovered.
I found anger in myself.
Beating the Rabbit was both low and full. Do you remember the character from Winnypoch? Here is exact. It would be perfect for a photographer.

To beat him, I repeat, was not possible. But very wanted. So I tried not to get in contact with him. I saw a rabbit running. That was not easy, because this fox was a noble public figure. Eternally he headed the punitive raids in search of the unclean, then organized the sabbathers, then stood at the entrance to the almaty, catching the late, then rejoiced in the committee of the Komsomol, preventing the progressive youth from cuddling after yesterday.
State authorities have always grown out of it. He knocked, he knocked, he knocked.
The rabbit was a born drummer. Any violation seen immediately gained written form and flew to the dean. Or the rector. Or at the Komsomol.
The rabbit quietly hated the whole institution. The rabbit hated the word rabbit. Probably childhood injury. To say this precious word in the radius of hearing of his enormous ears meant to get a blood enemy to the very diploma. There was a taboo about rabbits. In any case, they tried not to remember the rabbits, because he loved and knew how to hate Kostia.
How much rope do you have?

A group of studios were sent to practice in Lipetsk. NFC to watch. For what hero the future theorphysicists needed to be given a miracle from the metallurgical combination - Hefest knows. But in the army, we all have long learned to battle in the waves of life. We must go. At a poultry farm. Only vodka should be preserved.
When I read the composition of the departing, I moved. Thunfish, alcoholics, preferenceists and blackheads. Our people. But the leader, the mother-in-law, the Rabbit. From the Fucks. The evening is no longer dark.
During the instruction, the Rabbit looked at my rod and grabbed solemnly. You are finally in my power. I am for you.
For a long time to rejoice some crazy rabbit was not in my plans. In the war as

What do you think will happen after death?
We will put your bed over and put a new patient.

Five years ago, I had to work from Peter to Moscow for a couple of days. As a transportation chose Bla bla kar (or as there his). I arrive at the exit point. There is a Mercedes minibus. I go to the back row. To drive at night, you need to sleep, so that you do not get out of the regime especially. The car crashed and touched. There were two deaf men with me. We go for an hour, two, and it begins to fall asleep. And here I just feel the vibrations in the air on a physical level. I open my eyes, and these two guys seem to be actively arguing with each other. They sit in their seats, communicate emotionally in their sign language. All the other companions are asleep, the driver turns the lamb, quietly playing the radio. I know they don’t bother anyone but me. I pick up the phone, open the message. I said, “You can talk quietly. I want to sleep very much.” I extend the phone to the person who is closer. He takes it in his hands smiling, passing it on to his companion. He reads and smiles too. They write on my phone that they are apologizing for the noise. They hand over the phone and knock on the shoulder. I don't really remember what I dreamed, but I slept well and well.

In the apartment above live, there are 3 families: a man and a woman and their two children are also married. To argue is to say nothing. Almost every day someone is attacked, someone is driven out, something is demanded.

You know, but before I did not understand how noble and royal families waged such bloody wars with one another. My brother’s brother killed a village. And here in a two-room apartment whole wars unfold.

If a man wants to make money by saying nonsense, he goes to clowns; if he wants to make a lot of money by doing the same, he goes to lawyers.

We work in a shopping complex two by two, we sell furniture. The woman immediately left and left her daughter instead. She sometimes worked with us. The terminal, the terminal. I’ll be here tonight, what about you? well well! Here is the sale, so much cash, so much at the terminal. The young man! He removed everything and closed the exchange. Deposit of cash? to whom? Did the director come? There was a man, but I didn’t give it, I said he looks like an attacker! I will give you. The director was crying ?

From a discussion on "Popular Mechanics" news about the tests by the corporation "Hyundai" of the cabin of one of its cars a bunch of babouins.
Vitaly :
Is it a test? We had to sit there four students and tell them not to touch anything.

A few days ago, I felt something new from the spammers on me. There is a phone call, I take the phone and I hear an auto response: "Hello, you are welcomed by the company "Ecoshototam", now you will be switched to the operator." Time was free, so I decided to listen to what they offered me. The phone speaks standard music when switching, 30 seconds passes, and the same auto-responsor interrupts the music and says, “Sorry, but all the operators are busy, your seat in line is four, please stay on the line.” O_O

I don’t have time for such boldness.

It is no secret that for people with disabilities in Germany there are many opportunities for them not to feel incapable of any activity. For example, electric cars and trains are equipped with special devices for the descent of wheelchairs and people with mobility problems. There are special charitable services at the station to help people with disabilities.

When recruiting, you can often find the phrase "Disabled people are preferred." In short, the assistance is organized pretty well.



An interesting situation happened at my workplace. I work in a social organization that works on the principle of centres for difficult teenagers and children from disadvantaged families.

A trainee came to us, a young man with the DCP. The form of the disease is not severe and the guy does very well with various types of assignments. Heavy things did not really work for him. But he continued and tried as much as he could.

I say to the boss:

Can I help him?

The Boss:

No, in no case. He has equal duties and rights with other employees. In addition, by helping him, you may let him know that he is limited by something. It will be ugly.

I am :

Can he help me?

The Boss:

It will look like you are using a disabled person.

I am :

What to do then?

The Boss:

Try not to meet him at work.

P.S

All the staff helped the guy, and he helped us until the boss saw him.

I have lived around the railway all my life. My dream is very sensitive: someone coughs, TV, birds outside the window, neighbors walk - I hear, fucking, everything! But! They never bothered the compositions that passed by the window. But here my guests, if suddenly without thinking decided to stay overnight, in the morning sitting with a cup of coffee completely broken: "How can you live here! How to sleep here!”

A matter of habit.

The acquaintance tells how his daughters solemnly handed out the certificate in 2019, and how they walked through the whole class. He said that he did not regret the money spent (teachers thanks in envelopes, daughter a costly dress, restaurant). It’s only once in a lifetime, to remember. I just smiled to remember what you said. I was personally told by the director of the school and the "classmate" - don't come to the certificate until your mother gives us the money to repair the school, you won't get the certificate ("lichy" nineties). Our class was not going to celebrate graduation, only one classmate invited all those who wanted to "blow up" in the country. I thought this was a doubtful pleasure. I did not drink alcohol at all. And my certificate I got, waiting for the director to go on vacation, I "pressed" a little on the soundtrack, and she gave up. I remembered for a lifetime – summer, empty school corridor, out of the teacher’s room comes a loud sound, and solemnly swirls my certificate on the floor, accompanying the “delivery” with a solemn speech – drown the fox with his certificate, and go away from here, and in the future do not bring his idiots to our school!

P.S When they were collecting money to repair the school, my mother said there was no money. I never told my mother about this, so there is no reason to bother her. The main thing is to remember!

I work in a 24-hour pavilion. The buyer arrives early in the morning at five o’clock. Sleep is terrible, the brain is turned off. But you gather yourself in a bunch, with a willpower. He asks for a bottle of Coca Cola. I say 50 rubles. Let him touch cold or not. I suppose, he immediately opens it, puts it on the shelf, and the first part of the Marleson Ballet begins. Give five thousand, I take it, but it is somewhat soft, does not cause trust, I give back, I say there is no surrender. The man says, well, I’ve already opened the bottle. I answer, think I gave it to you. Apparently it is all. A man has a thousand. He says, there are a thousand, holds it in his hands and says, count the surrender. Here the main thing is not to turn away, otherwise the money will disappear, and will assure that he has already given them. I am tired of looking at him. and silence. After breathing, he gives me a thousand. Apparently this is all. But...I calculate the transfer of 950 rubles, I re-calculate directly with it. I put on a pot for money. He takes, re-calculates, breaks a piece of the bills, and begins to get upset that I wrongly counted the bill. Well, I can't stand it anymore and say that I've been working in the trade for a long time, I've seen all sorts of divorces. Go home man. Well, I heard that I hate I am finished and my husband is a fool. It remains a mystery for me, and here is my husband?