Chuck Norris did not understand the movie "The Bell". She was afraid to get out of the well.
Seven days later, he took out a crying, frightened girl and took her to her mother.

Do they want to drive the whole country to the Urals? We are looking for a needle in a bunch of seed... When we searched for this An-2, we found two aircraft that they could not find for several years. This means fruitful work.

(D)wife: I was asked yesterday by the adviser of Gen. Dir if I worked in the modeling business :D
D: We talked very well 😉
I: I guess what he wanted (facepalm)
D: To stay here, no more :)
I: RGG
I: and me if the girls ask in which gym I pumped such muscles, then I immediately understand that sex is provided for me this evening
D: Yes, and it often happens ;)
I: not once in a while
I: Sometimes I have to ask if she did not think about which gym in which I pumped such muscles...

from ZH:
The idea was that in each office with programmers a special department should be established that would be engaged in socialization instead of them: obtain visas, go to Lithuania for toilet paper, go to clinics and other state institutions, monitor that programmers regularly update the wardrobe, centrally drive the wives and children of programmers on vacation and perform other functions necessary for a cultural person, but so stressful for the schizoid brain.
This is an antisocial package.
And programmers would at this time sit and fuck like slaves in galleries.

Mom Shesh: "We did two impossible things during this vacation. My daughter got married and changed the mixer!" I don’t even know what she’s happier about...

What are you, cowboy, eating your cows?
I heard somewhere that goats are dead brain cells. Let them stay in me.
Your brain is actually made up of them, apparently.

15:59 *Armshock*: People don’t believe it!Yesterday I went to the hairdresser, I accidentally got a hair on my nose, he noticed it and scratched my nose... and then turned around and said, "No one will believe you anyway...

A programmer sits at the computer at night and suddenly feels a touch from behind. It turns around – his wife stands naked and looks at him.Programmer: – Sorry, sweet, but the computer is busy.
YYY: not true
YYY: We can just be distracted.
YYY: another food

It was strange that they separated...he loved and respected her so much that he didn’t even want to fuck.

I found the wrong Chinese proverb:
“It can’t rain all year long, you can’t be poor all your life.”

Yyy: This Chinese man just never lived in Peter. and :)

you think of how to burn the whole world with the miserable mortals and here to mess up the unbound rope, spotting and fucking and into the dirty dirt >_<

Whenever I go home/out of the house, angry at all the white light, and consider epic plans to avenge the boss/dirty neighbor-toptune/mother-in-law from the tram/mayor, so that he/she etc., my eyes stumble upon the inscription on the fence near the building house. There are only two words written in blue:"Do not go out". It helps a lot, you know.

Today I walked with the dog, found a brick under the battery in the room to put.Yesterday there was a thunderstorm, the lightning flashed into our house, the light flashed, on the 9th floor the transmitter burned. Today we go for a walk with the brick and the repairmen came, the driver cries to me - give me a dog to the country? I ask why suddenly? he says, and where do you take her with the brick?

I study with the most amazing girls in the world.

I slept sweetly and saw the tenth dream when I suddenly woke up. from a group. At the half hour of the night. The message began with a wonderful message: “Are you sleeping?” (a wonderful question) and continued with a statement that there is a serious conversation and a request to call back immediately.

I called back.

Honestly, I thought something serious had happened. Or not very serious. At the bad end, I thought, maybe she wants to know the exam tickets or something else in the same spirit.

When she explained that she needed me so much that I didn’t even get angry.

She watched the movie "Red Lights" in the afternoon and didn't understand the end of the film. She wanted me to explain to her.

We play rolling.
The crew escapes from the immortal vampire through the forest. Several girls stumble and fall. I hear their scream.
The vampire master stops and with an ordinary voice shouts: "All whole?" and after receiving an affirmative answer already with a vampire voice shouts: "Not long!" and collapses again after us in pursuit.

Rambler's comment on the news about the accident with the idol Timothy:
When Timothy committed the accident, he was not in execution. He did not believe in God at that time. God did not believe in Timothy at that time.

The night. Let us go to sleep. As usual, she slept with us and occupies half the bed.
Wife: Take Veronica to bed.
I : No. I do not tolerate children.

YYY: I went on the unstoppable 2
Stupid film
shootings and fights every 6 minutes, conversations as such are almost completely absent
XXX: AAAAGRGRHRHH
I absolutely love this movie.
Yyy: Heroes are moving
The devil knows where.
XXX is a good day!!! to
God keep going.
Do not stop
Romance is less than zero.
XXX is OOO!!!! to
The joke is really boring.
I go eat.
You are not nervous x)
xxx: a man's tear flows on his cheek

I saw an Internet Explorer advertisement on TV.
Spit the TV with holy water.

Q: Do you want chocolate?
J : No. When the Zai PMS she does not want sweet... (*then thought for a second., turned her look somewhere away and gave*) - she wants to kill....

You can also make sauces yourself.
XHH: Cut the crust and make different crafts from it.
A shrinker, for example.