A man and a cat.
“Oh,” said the man, “my wife gave birth to a trio yesterday.
“Don’t worry,” the cat replied, “you’ll give it.

Two years ago I was driving with a dog, I was driving, a dog in the rear seat. The windows are open, warm.

The light. Suits a man with a sign "deafness, give", I pretend I can’t see. He decides to attract attention and lean, trying to push his poster to me almost in the window. And here from the rear seat is distributed the heavy "RYAV". The deafman jumps from surprise and with a matte leaps away from the car.

The green was already lit, and the three streets of our direction could not touch - everyone who saw, on the wheels from the hump fell. Canisterapy - it sometimes happens, yes - the deaf hear, the dumb talk.

At work, performing a very monotonous activity - gathering information about organizations (telephone, email, hyo-yo) - stumbled on one curious site.
They sell sex coatings, - tiles, carpets, laminate and so on. A website like a website, nothing noticeable. And here in front of your eyes is a promotional offer - "All who made an order at night from 00:00 to 06:00 - a discount of 10%!".
I throw up the situation - in the courtyard at two o'clock at night, and I call and give - "baby, I got bored with something, hang me a parquet of squares for twenty, I will cook the tea while ".
I joked, I laughed myself.
A little later I realized that if I wanted to change the sex, I would be calling THERE and THERE at night.
High quality advertising.
It’s like the tablets on the columns with just one word and a phone number:"Have you noticed? 8-910-XX-XX-XX"

I am sitting in my old office today. There seem to be plastic flowers. And it doesn’t even seem surprising 😉

I like it! 😉
Tagged: notably

The resident of Ukraine, who lives in Crimea, gave him a child. He came to her in violation of some rules of entry into the country. and married. And then Ukraine decided to deport him probably. The UN tried with their system, and it was allowed, because of the need to maintain and raise the child, to issue immigration. It was done. Crimea became Russian. And his entry into the Crimea is not entirely legal under our rules. And he began to trial with our FMS. The court granted him the right to be a Russian citizen. It looks like everything is OK!
But no, he came back to Anapa (I don’t know why? Is this the nearest court? Why not in Crimea? In general, now complained that he is not called or written, and does not explain the reason for the slowness.
The most funny thing is that when I read the document I was admired and astonished. I admired that the document was composed with a bunch of complicated phrases, words - it is cool for a foreigner to write in Russian. And what he wrote - I did not doubt, because there were so many simple grammar errors! %) Fractions and faces did not coincide at all %) And I wondered - why not give it was to make a document to a specialist, so that these mistakes were not, it was really hard to read :unknown:
And here on the last page we read: " translation from Ukrainian to Russian made by the translator Tammamburbalyeva Ajan"

xxx:I entered your universe and I am very pleased with this, but fuck, a new collective, preds, etc. You are not insulting the first class? :)
YYY: When you go into the community, first ask what skin you are now, who is in the room, you say the article, how to call yourself. Fengyu is better taught in advance, it is desirable to take a couple of blocks of cigarettes and sweaters with you, yet dried fruits are good, only 8 kg. Give the money to Paganini immediately. If you bring it with you, your authority will increase immediately. All right, 6 years is not a time limit.

lived with grandma.
Three happy goats.
Their fools were crushed.
Lord Jesus

We are talking about Windows 10.

xxx: You need to read the license agreement more carefully – it is written in white in English:

“The spy, starting after you as a spy, gives you the opportunity to give up spying. If you do not opt out within 12 seconds, this is automatically considered to confirm your consent to be the subject of espionage and your acceptance of the terms of the espionage service. According to the terms of the service, it is prohibited to spy on a spy in the process of spying on you, and the refusal of the service of spying can be made only with the mutual consent of all parties involved in the process - the spy, the object of spying and the party that has previously entered into an agreement with the spy to receive information collected in the process of spying.
and :)

Following the advertisement:
IKEA - we will bring your excellence to school!

DUREX - we will bring your duo to the institute!

A beggar with a baby in his arms always sleeps.
He sleeps because he is pumped with vodka to avoid disturbance.
The money collected by beggars goes far up.
Children are usually strangers, stolen from families of alcoholics.

By giving money to beggars, you support this system.

I liked the story of the pop, especially:
"I did not ask for a gift or..."

XXX: Something is fatal to your department. Didn’t you all be born on Monday?
YYY: And our office opened, by the way, on Monday. The first number. in the high year. To be sure.

The fire on the Moscow River:
According to the Ministry of Emergency Affairs, the blame for the fire on the Moscow river is not the oil companies.
The river burned from careless handling of the fire, from the shale. The river, Karl!!! to

fotl: I'm playing eve online and we have one such Asian in the timspike, a good guy, but it's something surreal in the middle of the cold space to hear something like: "Eyey, listen, and I'm in the warp to jump into this... like him?... Wormhol Mormhol?"

I have neighbors from above natural fans of Game of Thrones :(
In the meaning?
If you believe the sounds from above, they first fuck each other and then kill each other.
or in reverse order.

I saw a sad picture.
A small irrigation machine whose glass is broken
HH: and she is so slowly
What a fool you need to be to ruin these machines!
That you are so right away, by chance.
Maybe someone wanted to commit suicide, did not calculate and fell on the machine.
Zzz: Dialogue of Optimists

In the series Humans, one elderly hero was tried by the state to take his old, moonless robot and replace it with a new one. But the old man stood as he could.
I also have my Opera 12.10.

here the finisher complains that she has a toilet in the new apartment installed not on the axis of the room and this is due to the clutch of tiles is visible)
I say a mouth, and you pierce the second spoon on the tiles.
I am scratching, ahah. Are you a lawyer to help?
I: And that is not - I am always lucky to drive with a nail in a new tile under the marble.
She is AHA. And how we family would explain what we were doing on the floor in the bathroom together.
I will honestly answer: I painted the second strip!
) ) )
The tears were wiped, rubbed.

We had a joke with the puppy. I played strikeball before. We played a game in the forest with a long route. Approaching the point, they heard someone breaking out of the bushes. The entire crowd, a man of 15, was sharply scattered and prepared for shooting. And then out of the bushes a man with an onion rolls out and sees that the crowd in camouflage holds him on the mush... No scene, curtain)))