Do you know the dispute between layers and layers? I heard the bet today.

A long visit to relatives is when a aunt’s eldest son asks you where his cowards lie.

Open your own private kindergarten. You will collect $25 for yourself.
What a responsibility. Plus all these SanPin, SanEpidems and others.
Open a private underground kindergarten.
The first rule of an underground private kindergarten: don’t tell anyone about an underground private kindergarten.

About the screaming of TV: I heard, and as a child, and still (I am 26), if I miraculously encounter the old TV. And the ugly scream "ultrasonic scary pests" I hear. :) And no one dragged me to the psychiatrist - my dad, Ph.D., a Ph.D., a researcher, explained what a whistle it was. An appropriate psychiatrist should have done the same.
By the way, dad-physic is sometimes scary. For the night, I was not reading stories about the Red Hat, but told about the structure of the atom, how electricity works and what an atomic bomb is. It provided me with nightmares for my whole childhood. This is honestly, instead of nightmares about Baba Yaga. and :)

Oh, in general, today you need to bend the levels around your head, swim in the solution of concrete, shouting: "For the construction!" ", "I built for you for two years! " and so on.
Happy Builder’s Day to you, workers!! to

This is made of smart thoughts.
Tablets and when prepared
Take a handful of small.
and in the mouth

There was a post today about a new telephone, which works ONLY if the person who looks at it smiles - and constantly.
A special camera built into the TV monitors the face of the viewer. The man stopped smiling - end of viewing.

Well, let such calves in fools set up - only fools can constantly lick.

In the universe they put turnikets. If there is no pass and student, you need to name the reason for the visit. I saw this picture: two men come in:
Welcome to Dmitry Ivanovich.
The guard:
He is not now.
We do not need him!

And today, with serious faces, we conducted search engines tests for the best results in finding pictures of naked women. On the request "sick brunette" with a gap of 3 votes won Google.
Interesting people - on the side like nothing and everything works.)

Who likes to speak foreign languages? In Swedish "j" is read as "j". Working is working. In the commandful inclination - "Work!" - "jobba!"

Real entry on the website of the tour operator in the section "Tourist Insurance":
"It is important In the event of an insurance incident, the application or the tourist must be cancelled!"

by this:
Clothing for the engineer is not too important: it is enough that it meets the basic requirements for the preservation of heat and to observe decency. If no parts of the body freeze or sweat too much, and the genitals and breast glands do not talk at the general view, then the clothes perform the tasks for which people dress. Snoring about clothes beyond this is a waste of time and effort.
= = = is = is = is = is = is
In Chita lived an engineer who once tried to fix something in a working mechanism. Usually he wore a working coat with flanked manches, but this time he was in some kind of home chlamydia — well, it was very hot at the shop!
I lived 12 years without a hand.
— — —
You talk about different engineers. Some hang the wattman on the culman and build drawings, others work in production, where in addition to the requirements for the general appearance of clothes there are also safety requirements to hide the hair under the headdress to avoid the above.
With respect, Ordinary Dick Blind.

The old man looked at her, but answered nothing. Then he said:
“I like cigarettes, Miss Taggart. I like to think of the fire that a man holds in his hands. Fire, this powerful, dangerous force that man has curtailed and holds at the tip of his fingers. I often think of those moments when a person sits alone, looks at the smoke of his cigarette and reflects. I have often wondered what great accomplishments have grown out of such minutes. When a person thinks, a spark of living fire blows out in his consciousness, and in such moments the light of a smoking cigarette is as if a reflection of his personality.

Everything is in your hands – often my hands!

Civilization is created by idiots, and the rest are crushed.

War is the worst way to learn about a foreign culture.

A politician should not be too smart. A very clever politician sees that most of the tasks he faces are completely insoluble.

The road to the stars leads through years of imprisonment. Astronomy smells of prison.

The essence of old age is to gain experience that cannot be exploited.
Stanislav Lem

VKontakte image with the inscription " boys, never blame girls for betrayal, you are to blame for this, first of all you and only you, look for the cause in yourself". The first comment "a great attempt, Prostitutes!"

Rust from the series "Baby mouth".
The child heard about the embargo on imports of a number of goods from the United States, the European Union, etc. And he says, "Well there will be no pork - we will eat goats. We have a lot of cows!"

A wise man first thinks well and only then silences.
Oleg Butaev

This morning we went to the business center where our company’s office is located. I came not just so, but to talk to candidates for the post of assistant chief accountant. Two free seats in the parking lot right in front of me is occupied by a gentle lady, putting her car diagonally. Polite asked her to put the car normal, which immediately received a melted middle finger. I didn’t even turn around leaving...
I parked somewhere else and had to look for it. I go into the office and see three girls coming for an interview. Among them is the one from the parking lot.
Okay, I think I will have fun now. She did not consider me properly. I invited her to the cabinet of the last, colorfully outlined all the advantages of working in our company, while remarkably curated and decorated. Type, soft work schedule, social package with 100% repayment of all medical expenses, fitness, traveling at the expense of the company, study abroad and traveling there, white salary of 1500 euros and the same in rubles, two weeks of New Year holidays with payment, etc. Then I add the light with the message that her resume is brilliant and fits us completely. I enjoy her reaction, pulling off the bandage...
The virgin shone, her eyes glittered, probably even her trousers were wet.
And here I tell her:
But there is one problem. We don’t hire people who react ignorantly to requests for proper parking.
No one has ever escaped so quickly from my office.

Lucy had such a sexy mouth that she could not get pregnant.

Popkin: There is a saying: “If you want to change the world, start with yourself.”
Popkin: Could this statement be the following: "Decided to destroy the universe, kill yourself!"?