This morning I made a joke.
I call to dictate the indication of water from the meter.
She said to me: Thanks.
I am – big!
It is: Big

Olga: What are you treating, Maine Liebknecht Freud?
Alexander: Vodka))) No, I joke, of course - Remantadine, I cook herbs (I cook!!!Drops in the nose, all that.
Olga: Well, a complete disappointment))) It’s all too right!
Alexander: Ol, well, I am still not a classic male, I am half-pedor, so I know how to treat, I know how to cook and - oh, shame! I don’t wear socks ?
Olga: Damn))) Half Pedoraz - it's like a piece of clothes sounds, if honest...
Alexander: Ahaha))) "He stuck his elegant half-pedoraz")))
Olga and Dada)))

Lera: When the foam film from above starts to rise, remove and turn off the fire.
Lera: Do not leave him
Lera: or flee the shit will then wash it all.
HOG: I don’t have a puddle that will wash everything away afterwards.

In my childhood, I was fishing with worms.

YYY : Why? O_O

XX: They have subversively tried to sabotage their work of earning. This is unacceptable!!! to

zzz: These are the wrong worms you are crawling.
The real worm must be such that he sits on a leash without any hook, rushes rapidly to the naively floating carousel, suffocates, rises, passes the prey on to the master and, after a comradeship, crumbling the worm's jaw, goes back to underwater hunting!

From Habr:
> -...electric shock that would turn off the driver in case of excess. It should be, but not humane.
>...And what will happen to the driver’s car whose electric shock was cut off at full speed?? to
“Well, she would have flown out into the cottage and slowly burned, but it was a misanthrope that woke up in me.

From the online store of mattresses:
For a long time I was looking for a tough mattress for orgies with animals. The ordinary mattress with a sprinkle block is suitable only for small animals, and the donkey, for example, does not fail, especially if it is only on the back legs.
I bought it and I do not regret it!!! to

The smoke:
But I know my place in a catastrophe film: I am the guy who, at the moment of the tragedy, stands on the spot, looks up (as long as everyone runs away), and understands that no one can save himself :)

by Alexei:
None to None! and Nihua! You have to save yourself, gather the arbalet and fuck everyone to the right and left!!! You can look at it for a minute, but then you need to quickly go to the bomb shelter!

The smoke:
Well maaaam! Can I watch for a few more minutes?? to
well well! Just a few minutes and then running to the shelter!

I love searching forums. I wondered how to cook pearls. On one of the sites: a recipe for pearls, then a bit about adding or not a pearls in the ear, moving into a bit, that vodka is already called by some "drink", and at the end, so modestly : "if someone else is interested in the recipe for ear...";

Conversation at work.

Are you not planning children?
YYY : No. They are programmers.
XXX: What, are they multiplied by code?
xxx: then Boris is the wrong programmer, he already has two.
YYY: Yeah he wrote the script.
xxx: and then "Oh fucking, I started twice"?)

"Recently, more and more Jews are appearing who are engaged in sports. This means that the sport has become a profitable business." Mikhail Zadornov.

My son invites me to eat meat with him. I refuse, I say I want to lose weight to be beautiful. He said with a sincere surprise:
To be beautiful, you don’t have to lose weight, but wear shoes.
P.S In our women’s collective, the phrase has become almost a motto!

Most often the reputation is soaked with vodka.

I went to the blinds. It’s nice in summer, it’s interesting. Behind the River Fence. in the Saskatchewan River. He took with him Japanese hooks, Chinese hooks, now fashionable naglosaks donke (feeder). Well, he went to fishing in the evening, opened a expensive firm feed with a thirsty anise smell, blurred it in a large pelvis with water, put on his back to swell. I sit myself, attaching a hook and hooks to the leash.
And the aunt, by the way, owns a good herd of goats, which did not rush, walked in the background, watched me and at the same time chewed the coastal grass.
How one of them came unheard of me, I don’t know. How I ate behind my back all three kilograms of supplementary food, without a whistle, is mystery number two. When I turned, she quietly licked the basin.
All the sapphires had to be forgiven. The goat also had to forgive, did not catch up.
But the most important thing started in a day. My mother-in-law slowly sold goat milk to neighboring farmers. In the morning, the first to the gate for milk ran a rooted man, pulled us as a gift of sasan under two kilograms. Which I did not catch. And she cries through the fence: "You hear Nikolayevna, my daughter has that, when you don't make her drink this milk, she says, it smells like something, and here they gave it, and they didn't take it away, she drank it all, she talks deliciously. Can we increase the supply by a liter and a half?”

After the locals saved me from the drunk mint, I am no longer surprised by anything in this country.

Where are the normal headphones "drops"?? to
Well, I don't understand these new-fashioned spots, they remind me of anal sex: they get tight, you feel a strong discomfort and constantly scratch out!

Why when I have my birthday people ask me what to give, and when you have your birthday people ask me again what to give you?! to

My husband is a driver at the MSC. I came with a strange expression today. To the question: "what is happening to him", he answers.
I am too observant.
and??? to
You understand. Today, the tram struck two pedestrians and stuck. So, I looked at the time and the work of the guys. They pulled out of the tram half the first pedestrian in the first half. Half of the second half of the second!!! to

Conversation in the corridor:
I’m late, I’m late for the meeting.
M: What did you think of before?
Q: Why did I have to think?? to

_m_a_d_m_a_n_
By the way, if a Muslim woman marries an alien (Russian in particular) it is almost a deadly sin for her, and at least the reproach of all relatives, or even kill can.
and ski:
This is an example for imitation. Let’s finally kill!

admin chat: all, I’m gone, be smart.
admin chat is gone
We are now beginning with Theres, Hungary and Sodom!! to
Modern chat: happiness I will arrange you both