bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №51789
 15.08.2011
The majority of the problems that humanity struggles with are created by itself.

[ + 21 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51788
 15.08.2011
I guarantee authenticity, although it was not with me and due to the length of events at this moment I can tell the public this story.
(The names of the heroes have been changed)

At the end of the 1980s I once served in the glorious Armed Forces of a mighty man.
The USSR in the management of one of the associations. We had a subordinate unit in Ryazan, the head of the combat training department was some Colonel (conditionally) Panchenko, an old servant, a "loved soldier", once commanded a large army unit, but because of the drive to the ZZ.
(Green Snake) was removed from office and for "service" until retirement was appointed to this position, where he continued to pour the collar.
And he had in his deputy an ardent servant and a careerist Lieutenant Colonel Ionov.
On Friday, after the next battle of the Guard, Colonel Panchenko decided
"to subdue" his mas (remember - the times are blurred - the end of the 80s, the country has only developed its new laws)...
I have not invented anything better. Ivan Ivanovich, you are serving, you are serving, you are serving, you are earning interest to retirement, and you know that now the Duma is considering a law according to which no matter how much you are serving - you will be paid a pension for serving at 20 years old - as appropriate. And if you are a lieutenant colonel, then only up to 40 years old. So that is.”
Five to five!! Ivan Ivanovich went all day. At the end of the day I got the courage and decided to call (AJ!) Head of personnel department
General of the Army!! (Something is serious )
So, said, and so much served to you that, Pya, all the cat under the tail....!!!??? Five, Five and Five, Five and Five, Five and Five!! to
Or in the prostration, what laws they are adopting, they themselves do not know.
Well, here our "servant" to the general has all broken up.
I will remind you that in those times everyone immediately became Federal and endowed themselves with almost unlimited powers (and money). The back of the troops bought a jacuzzi for the dacha for 40 thousand. The Greens...
So, the continuation of the story, the General, scratching the baldness, said: "You know, today is Friday - tomorrow the certification commission - let us appoint you to the post of colonel - here is the "cell is" - you will go to Sverdlovsk?“”
"Even in Alaska," Pya, even in the tundra, what, I have served for so many years, let me justify," the Lieutenant Colonel replied to the Guard.
And on Saturday they immediately submitted the documents, immediately approved, immediately signed the order, immediately appointed, immediately assigned the title, immediately handed over the pursuit....! to
With a sense of "deep satisfaction" and an order in the inner pocket of the kitter our guard "Colonel" went to his hometown of Ryazan.
The Sunday was unnoticed (for others).
On Monday our Guard Colonel Panchenko (in the beginning of the department - if forgotten) goes out for a divorce and another sees Colonel Ivchenko!!! to
Dialogue: “You that friend – today is not April 1st. What did the Colonel’s pursuit strike?” Answer: “Let me present myself. by Kom. associations
Colonel Ivchenko »
Someone else’s jokes write the fate of others.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №51787
 15.08.2011
Where is the best beer in the world?
And where I woke up in the morning from the badong – there is the most delicious.

[ + 51 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51786
 15.08.2011
I lost my cat.
Do you really worry so much?
XHH: Of course, I fed it for two years, planted it, treated it, and this shit took it and went somewhere.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №51785
 15.08.2011
zzz: porn movies as 1080p is something!
Zzz: Yesterday one actress discovered caries

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №51784
 15.08.2011
Application of the client to the insurance company.

Circumstances of the insurance event:
"He went out of the store and noticed that the glass was torn."

List of damaged (missing) parts
"Glass for windshield"

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №51783
 15.08.2011
There is no advertisement like this:
"How to look at 50 at 100"

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51782
 15.08.2011
I’m in a hit, I’m standing in a line today and a little girl may be 6 years old telling her mom – “Mom, mom, why didn’t you pick up my uncle’s phone?”

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №51781
 15.08.2011
Judging by the number of women driving, it will soon be much more profitable for men to stand on the highway.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №51780
 15.08.2011
xx is:
I will have a puppy tonight!!! to
and xy:
The fighting has already begun?

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №51779
 15.08.2011
SMS has arrived:
Hi, how is it? What is new? This is my wife, did you know?
You have a special handwriting in your essay!

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №51778
 15.08.2011
VKontakte status of girls

Diana Titova: Kirill Surin, I love you so much!! to
Kirill Surin: At least write the name correctly.

[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №51777
 15.08.2011
ksennus: I recently watched the news story about the riots in London. Several hooligans who robbed shops (including households) take interviews, ask questions and so on. It would be nothing, but the ending was just great:
Does your conscience hurt you at night?
I watch my new TV at night.
and'd

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №51776
 15.08.2011

Anya
I hid the chocolate from myself and found it. You fuck me!
by 16:30:00

Kirill
by Facepalm
by 16:30:31

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №51775
 15.08.2011
Lilu: Who is a techno-freak?
3.14ONEP: A man who wants to roll as many hooks on his screw as possible. This is not a metaphor :)

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №51774
 15.08.2011
XXX: Warriors are people who are measured with pips. The Strangers.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №51773
 15.08.2011
The best opera. Opera will find everything.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №51772
 15.08.2011
My classmate, together, graduated from the programming instance.
and Denis:
How is it? I am now in the second universe studying in apathy - an engineer in information systems and technologies. and. Listen to. The question is: if the operative was not inserted by the wrong side, it would not be determined, right?
by gexmur:
Who do you say you are studying with?

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №51771
 15.08.2011
XXX: So tell me, is it okay??? to name the album mini-photo session and upload there under 800 photos?? to

[ + 58 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51770
 15.08.2011
I noticed that the cat that lives in our part, in the words "Kiss-Kiss", runs away from you even faster...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna