bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85503
 13.08.2013
Recently my little son approached me and asked, “Dad, who is Houston and why is he always in trouble?”

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №85502
 13.08.2013
Kung Fu spots apparently emerged from attempts to bypass the cat in the dark.

[ + 36 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85501
 13.08.2013
Dear Visa card user who connected the alert to my number ***5321!
Thank you for visiting the shops so often. Thanks to you, I will find out about your purchases even at 2 p.m.
You have to live on credit all your life. Shut off the alert!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №85500
 12.08.2013
Spam is always coming in the form of SMS "action!!! 40% of the sushi!!" from one store. after I broke my phone, getting it, to read this is another spam, I decided - all, enough. I have to sign off. I call the store, I say "so and so, hit your spam, include me from the mailing list". On what I deauška operator with sincere surprise says "You, that. This is NOT SPAM!! This is action!! Discount on all sushi 40%!and "

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №85499
 12.08.2013
She answered simply: "I will be above". And then I realized that I could not find the best girl!

And in fact! What can be better than a girl who sleeps with a man the first night? Admit, no one has given you it before?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №85498
 12.08.2013
We provide a one-time compensation for the birth of a child or when you marry.

Compensation...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №85497
 12.08.2013
I came in the evening from work tired... on the table wine-meat-greens, romance-candles... the wife in the forehead on the naked torso, whispering gently about a small role-playing game in the sanitary and the maid.
In the end, I had to repair the crane and clean the siphon.


[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №85496
 12.08.2013
From a PHP forum:

DedUndead: What exactly is understood by basic knowledge?
Mefistofel: My boyfriend was hired as a programmer after he wrote without mistakes at a Linux interview. That was more than ten years ago. and :)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №85495
 12.08.2013
Discuss the next "smart" clock.

This watch is more powerful than my friend’s smartphone :D

This watch is smarter than my aunt.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №85494
 12.08.2013
From Habr, discussing international mailing:
You can't send bombs in mail :)
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №85493
 12.08.2013
XXX: Mom came to visit.
The refrigerator is broken ?

YYY: What is it?! to

She decided to flip the ice in the freezer and broke the cover with a knife
The gas came out of the refrigerator and he died.

YYYYYYYYY))
YYY: Releasing the Spirit

[ + 23 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85492
 12.08.2013
Yesterday on Mail : Currently looking for: 1 pound in grams. Searched for: 1 km in millimeters (!). Someone who is curious, curious.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №85491
 12.08.2013
You have that youthful percycticism.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?? to
This is... pedantry.
YYY: Is this an order? = = )

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №85490
 12.08.2013
I finally bought a cat. It was called Ramses. Cool is yes?
Throw it away and buy a new one!
Q: Did you get rid of anything? Why?!! to
WOW: Call it the Second Dimension, so it sounds better!)))

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №85489
 12.08.2013
Dwarfs are cruel people. They bury potatoes alive in the ground, throw cucumbers into boiling water, tear away the reproductive organs of plants alive and drink the blood of tomatoes.

[ + 4 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85488
 12.08.2013
I, of course, understand that there are 1% of people here who spend half a day on the site and know ALL the quotes that appear on the tape.
But is it really difficult, when commenting on a previously written quote, to put it out in its entirety or at least a decent piece, so that somehow it can be found in the search and find out where the legs grow? Half a letter with half a mark.

All good and good mood!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №85487
 12.08.2013
Thus, a competently educated dog, even a middle Asian, gives the grain impeccably and devoutly looking in the eyes. Even if his hand is in his fist. The Conclusions?

The cat has normal reactions of an equal partner, the dog is psychologically irreversibly degraded.
A cat is a friend, a dog is a servant.
Something is wrong?
____

Yes, my God, there is no cat - a friend, a dog - a servant... these are animals, just for a cat you are a creature from his praide, maybe he even considers himself your leader, but for a dog you are a member of the herd, and for a properly educated dog you are the leader of the herd. Animals do not have a sense of friendship, love or the like... just in the prajada of cats and dogs in different relationships are built and everything is done.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №85486
 12.08.2013
Anatomy: Yes
Elena: What are you capping? O_O
One time is not a blonde.
Once Percy is always Percy.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №85485
 12.08.2013
xxx (12/08/13 10:10:40): By the way, today is Erwin Schrödinger’s birthday))
yyy (12/08/13 10:12:41): So let’s drink for the cat: D chaking or not chaking :D
xxx (12/08/13 10:13:20): And with closed eyes not to disturb the course of the experiment by observation :D

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №85484
 12.08.2013
I tried to awaken a beautiful princess in my wife, sexy and kind, but she cried again, “You’re finally going to let me sleep, shit!”

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna