bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 62 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85483
 12.08.2013
From Habr from the discussion of computer illiteracy:
Hello, I don’t have hot water.
We have no shutdowns, do you open the crane?
What a crane? I want to wash, and the water doesn’t flow when I go to the bath.
There at the beginning of the pipe from which the water is poured should be two valves they need to be turned.
- What is a ventile, what a tube, and I seem to see what things.
Try to turn.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Then there are long dots, as the person turned on hot water and dropped it with boiling water from the shower, and in the hospital he will explain that he should not be able to turn on the water, he is not a sanitary, he only needs to wash.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №85482
 12.08.2013
to this:
here here :
Stanislav: I was here a few days ago admired by the Chinese honesty!I had a Chinese sewing machine for 3 thousand.There it is written that the service period is 3 years.So it is!After the deadline collapsed :-D.Two days I tried to repair it, spit and went to the extreme measures - gave to my husband.He was driving a clock, put it in a garbage bag and pulled it out of my asshole 10 pieces.Now I have a new machine with a huge number of operations,I was sewing everything I could for two days.
Soxatyi: Conclusion – more often trust the repair of equipment to your husband. Upgrade your entire home arsenal.

I have a sewing machine "Tula". She is 63 years old (1950). As yet as new. The electric drive. I sew about once every six months on a guitar cover and similar products. And you with your Chinese brothers...

Your "Tulu" reassemble, D-25s will get.With an electric drive.

[ + 57 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85481
 12.08.2013
iSpid3r: The Prosecutor General’s Office has found that the IP address 127.0.0.1 is located in the Prosecutor General’s Office building.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №85480
 12.08.2013
Review of the camera on the all-known website:

The Dignity:
Great pictures, especially the landscapes.
The shortcomings:
I have a large belt or a short belt.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №85479
 12.08.2013
X: Thick cat belly is definitely created to spit and press them ^^

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №85478
 12.08.2013
Can I do chemistry? There will be crackers!
He: no, I love to be wide, not to look at him

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №85477
 12.08.2013
Ajbka: The approach "I’m ohuenely skiing, so I really want to have sex with you" is wrong. Right "I have sex with you, I have skies that I ride on. Although if you’re interested in me and I’m not going to break up on the next trip, then anything can be..."

[ + 31 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85476
 12.08.2013
Do you know how I got married? I go home at night after the club, I see a girl at the stop: I am late for the last bus, the house is 50 km away. It was a pity, I went overnight. The house was full and we had to sleep together. I ask her: Where are you going to be: by the wall or by the edge? She answered simply: "I will be above". And then I realized that I could not find the best girl!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №85475
 12.08.2013
Now I sit playing poker stars and some guy wrote in the chat "huesos", I first thought that the Spanish, and then looked from which country and not, was not Spanish))))

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №85474
 12.08.2013
Announcement on the rear-glass Lincoln Navigator: sell, bargain to tears

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №85473
 12.08.2013
My husband is my stone wall, my firm support and my indestructible defense. Until you see on the thermometer 37.2..;)

c) W.E.B

[ + 50 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85472
 12.08.2013
A century ago, I decided to travel by bus. A young family couple. The wife is obviously dissatisfied, and the evil looks at her husband. He tries to explain:
M: Listen, I’m not to blame that this thing broke in the car.
J: What kind of thing? (of course)
Yes, the wheel is turning.
What is noise?
M: What a shredder, this is a grenade.
G: equal angular speeds, fool
And he did not break in you, oh, he crushes only at the angle of acceleration, that is. Turn the wheel.

Nemo pause, the guy wiping out his eyes looks at the faithful

J: Yes, dear, before cooking you borsches, I worked as an engineer-constructor at the CB of mechanical engineering.

Chess and Mat

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №85471
 12.08.2013
Don’t think about someone else’s life, but live your own.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №85470
 12.08.2013
The Odessa Court. In the house opposite the center of the window without curtains hanged white women's trousers. Rabinovich thoughtfully said:
I don’t understand...is it a surrender or an invitation?

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85469
 12.08.2013
Colt: No, touching parents in disputes is an Aztecs dumpling, so you are weak in arguments, and therefore an idiot.)
lawa: no, but when you write "arguments", I want to say that your mommy was weak in arguments
Mistake once happens
Lawa: Your folder has been wrong once

[ + -5 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85468
 12.08.2013
from ZH:
I did an epilation and suddenly found a cat’s bowl.
HAHAHA! Cats, and how you will like human wool in food!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №85467
 12.08.2013
We sit down and eat another pizza. The man says:
You just don’t tell my girlfriend that I can eat so much. The feeding!

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №85466
 12.08.2013
KJ: I went to the zoo with my kids, the kids were cuddling, feeding, screaming, cuddling. I hope the animals are pleased.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №85465
 12.08.2013
I am a natural enthusiast!) I started washing dishes.. washed everything that got under my hand: both dirty and clean.. and even a bottle with dishwasher!!)))

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №85464
 12.08.2013
My son’s friends came to my son’s birthday. They cried crazyly, said everything at the same time and did not listen to each other, grabbed at the table, arranged wild pseudo-dances, drank everything that was crazy and demanded more, sometimes even fought each other. They behaved like adults.

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