The waitress counts a couple in the cafe. The girl:

I didn’t eat this salad at all. Not even touched. Do not count him. It can be sold again.

Unfortunately not. It is forbidden to sell the same dish a third time.

I have nothing to defeat my own laziness. Winning the Lenin.

My friend works as a warehouser. Looking for a job with a higher salary and better conditions.

In the region there is a large retail network, constantly looking for warehouses and suppliers in the logistics center with p.p. 60-70.

The conditions of the device to work are as follows - you go out for 5 hours of work, you are given a scanner and sheets with a list of goods. The number of trucks must be shipped as quickly as possible. The list of goods from alcohol and laundry powder to ham and flashbacks, names a huge number.

So, he has been driving 5 times, passed the selection. He is already speaking faster and faster, he is about to be taken and he is preparing for the next selection.

Do you have to say that they are not paid for this and that the vacancy hangs for years?

The world is full of technicians and ballabols. Everything around you is made by technicians. Everything you know about, but what didn’t happen (the bridge to Sakhalin, the world’s leading economy, an average salary of $2,700, an apartment – to everyone) – was promised by balls.

I understand that there are circumstances of force majeure which entail the impossibility of renouncing foreign citizenship.
But then why not go on the other side – refuse to work in Russia? Citizenship and interests of the country are preserved.

At eight in the morning I was awakened by a phone call. The unknown number.
There are people who have the luxury right to unknown numbers of the tube not to take, but we lawyers are deprived of this right.
We, like Dr. Ibolit, always wait for work on the phone, so I took it.

I heard an agitated voice from a guy who belonged to him. So, by the way, the voice, without brutality, as if the cock who stood on the foot, whispered: "Babule, babule, it is me.
“My grandson! Grandchild what happened? You’re okay?” — I woke up, realizing that these zones went out to work in the morning, their branch that the Zapadosts grandchildren responds.

The voice in the trumpet, whispering, whispered and pronounced joyfully: “Baby! I hit a man in a car. The dead man is dead, he does not breathe, the dead man lies, he does not move. Blood is everywhere.”

Fuck, I was scared! Uncle, it’s not the first time that you’re waking me up again. Pull it off to the nearest bushes and drive yourself calmly. Just don’t forget to wash the car right away, not like last time.”

The voice cried and probably should have put the phone, but I probably got some trainee or just a fool, well, or a man whose motto was the phrase "never give up," so the voice with less enthusiasm said: "Grandma, this is not time, here the mints came."

“Your mother, call Uncle Serjoze, let him come and deal with his employees. Serezhka said a hundred times, "give your halluys the numbers of cars of all of us, so that we will not distract you in the little things," I said tired.
“Grandpa, so I don’t have his number, I have a new phone, I haven’t recorded it yet” – the tube whispered, the voice of the ringing man in front of his eyes.
“I will not give it to you either. I’m without glasses, I’m lying on the beach in Monterrey by the sea, and my glasses are left in the country. My grandson, it is easier. In Google, use the phrase "Chief Police Chief of Moscow" and you will immediately get Serezhka and his number," I said.
“Baby, the mints want money right now,” the newly acquired grandson said to me.

“Well, give them money then and Uncle Serjoze don’t call!” I said.
“And I don’t have that much money, they want a lot,” the grandson said even more sadly.

“I said I’m breathing the sea. Call your dad, although the weather, he will probably not take the phone, he is a guest at your uncle Volod. They jumped on the bears at night, and the fools are old and sleeping. Uncle Dimu pick up, he always plays computer games and doesn’t sleep. Or pick up Lavrov, let him help, after all, he is a baptist to you, he is in a pentagram, before Satan has vowed to protect you. Although he’s probably all there in thoughts about Afghanistan right now, it’s uncomfortable to distract,” I said and cried out.

“You are an old creature! Families like your country are starving. No shame of conscience. You hide the bodies in the morning, jump on the bears. The fraudsters! That you all die," said the grandson bass and instantly renounced such a promising family disconnected.
I wanted to tell him more about his relatives.

© Ksenia Poleshev

Pay five years of retirement age and get from Putin cashback of 10 thousand rubles.

My friend’s wife ordered a prostitute home when she was pregnant. A boyfriend comes from work, and his wife with a “gift” is sitting waiting for him. Speaks nobly, he whispered at this moment, asked the "gift" how much money they ought to pay for the call, paid and put on the door.



Yyy: He has an interesting wife.



Zzz: Very interesting, in vain he put her out of the door...

Xxx: And I, as a girl, will say that not everyone needs hair, apollons, and talkons. They marry absolutely for different and for silent too. There are 3 billion women on the planet and you think none of them will fit you?

I once walked down the underground crossing, and there was a couple of bombarded views. In short, the man in the shutdown and crazy, and his heart lady immediately carefully wipes his ass. You’re talking about sweat.)



Yyy: I am now bluffed by the upset :)

Xxx: Here another factor in the appearance of the girl plays a role. I always had a puppy on clothes, as long as I pursued it - it was useless. Mint, dirty, with a hole - no difference. at the hairdresser. For a long time I refused to shave my "beautiful" eyebrows, although I bought him a good shave when he was 13. I wash every day, thank you. And here, a miracle, with the appearance of some mysterious Anastasia (I have not been shown yet, but, they say, beautiful) my obaltus clamps up jeans, and a snow-white shirt, monitors socks on the subject of scratches, shaves properly and goes to a fashionable hairdresser.)



Yyy: It’s only exactly until the candy bouquet is over and they’ll eat with that same Anastasia.)



Xxx: And that will be Anastasia’s problems.

In my childhood I had toys. There was no Barbie. There was no money in the 90s. My best friend had 40 of them. The real ones. She even sometimes let me touch them, not just watch her play. She was brought by her sister from Moscow. And here, at her sister’s next arrival, I picked it up and cried, “Barbie, please bring me.” I’m terribly ashamed of these words now, but I was 6-7 years old. After a while, my girlfriend’s sister came back, boasting me with a new doll. I forgot about my request. I didn’t even think she would be executed. So 15 years have passed. My friends and I separated in high school. We met and walked. And here she tells me this story. You remember, you asked my sister to bring a doll. She bought it for you. I was sorry to give it and I left it to myself. You saw her later when we were playing.” Here you can consider me whoever you want – I came back after the meeting and cried for a long time. I was sorry for the little girl who dreamed of Barbie. I was sorry for being small. And here is the paradox, I lived well without knowing this story. I remembered that request. I did not expect any gift. I know no one owes me anything. She told me that and I am sorry. I want to buy a doll. I choose very jealously. Such things.

Xxx: Recently accidentally poured tea in the office. I found a shovel and a hose to clean up. A colleague who observed these actions asks:

You must have served in the army, right?

I studied in the military university, I answer.

It is noticeable. You are so cleverly weaponized.

Xxx: When I was in the third class, we found someone throwing out a sea pig. While we carried her home, a boy came to us from the neighboring courtyard and asked where we would go.

I told him that there was a cage for the rabbit at home and that she would live there, and he replied that the pig was marine, that he had to live in the water, that he had an aquarium and we had to give him the pig so that he could place it in that aquarium and fill it with water.

As a graduate child, I told him that the pig was called so because it was brought from South America and was originally overseas, and then lost.

Patsanu had nothing to do and he went home, and the pig successfully settled in my cage (where she lived for a long time and a lot of shit).

In the morning he was already waiting for me on the way to school and said that he asked his father about where the pigs should live and his father said that I was a pigeon. I did not find anything to answer then.

So, Oleg S., if you are reading this text, then know: Dubaeb is you.

I do not like to waste money. But the best way to use the money has not yet been found.

In the second year of university study, we started a course in psychology. Prepod was a corresponding, such an evasive type. On the first pair, he gave a jokeful advice for the future: always go to work with a folder of documents, the table of the worker also filled with pieces of various papers, carry them with you even to the dining room and then the bosses will consider you a hardworking and valuable worker, as if you did not roll a fool. A month after this lecture, the lecturer was appointed dean. I still remember that advice :)

We have not yet gotten away from “forced corruption”, and here is a new trick – foreign citizenship of overwhelming force.

Xxx: I go to the store near the house and also take chicken barks for the dog, and there two sellers, one for 40 years and the other young, but with a kind of sense of humor. I go to them and ask the young woman if there is any dog joy. she answers: the chicken heads are over, but there is a head of a sheep, the truth has to separate it from the body, do you have a tail with you?

He points his finger at his partner.

and lifhack.

Do you like to give people advice but no one wants to listen to you?

Everything is elementary: call it consultation, and start taking money - there will be no repulsion from customers right away!

We talked about some work moment with a colleague. And he gave me this tirade in defense of his point of view:

You are wrong! On one occasion to make conclusions stupid, it is necessary to make a large sample of cases...
Look, I came somehow with my daughter, but without my wife in Sochi for vacation. My wife was detained for a few days at work.
We are registered at the reception by a beautiful young receptionist. During the registration he asks:
“There are three, and where is your wife?”
I am her:
“And my girlfriend, with her lover Yakin, fled to the Caucasus today...”
I look, and her eyes are glazed, she hangs like, she looks at me and breathes so that another elderly receptionist standing next to her had to push her elbow, and like to feel:
“What a tension! He jokes, it's a Soviet film joke..." The young woman froze off like, only the eyes from now on she threw on us exclusively ice...
As a result, all the holidays I loaded, I said I was already so old, my memes are shit, no one to talk to, no one understands me, etc. and etc.
The next year I went back to Sochi, a different hotel.
As a result, his wife was arrested at work again. This time at the hotel reception we were welcomed by a guy, even younger than the receptionist from last year.
I wonder where my wife is. I made him a fool again:
And my mother-in-law, with her lover Yakin, fled to the Caucasus today.
He pulled his gaze from the compass, swallowing his palm on the table and cried:
“Take it off!!”
I am on the machine:
“Hey to God!”
He is already smiling:
“They are hunting?”
It turned me around, I rattled like an insane. broke along with him.
All the holidays were relaxed and fun.
So Petrovich, one case is not a case at all, but a coincidence.
For far-reaching conclusions, you need to consider as much sample as possible...

If anyone else hopes to knock out any plugs from the party of power, hurry: on September 19, all their promises will turn into a pumpkin...