In our printing office, one angry designer on the day of his dismissal left the job last, putting on the print 15 meters of photo roll paper, which immediately from the printer splashed into the fist of the shredder... he asked, not to dismiss the creative...

Zet
If you want to go to me, come on foot.
I know you, if you come to my house on a white horse, the horse will strike right under the balcony.

Koljasha
You know about such a wonderful product of the company "Promt" called Magic Gooddy? )
Koljasha
There as an assistant acts an Aztec penguin in the vacuum. I’m constantly off because I don’t need to. I’m writing with you, I’m not touching anyone... And here suddenly!!!! This fucking penguin (he’s still talking straight through the columns with Darth Vader’s voice) goes out on the screen and says, “Cola! We stayed there all day!"
O_O

00:24 XXX: Can I ask an intimate question?
00:24 YYY: as you want
00:25 XXX: Aunt often think of a member?
00:25 YYY: ))))))))))))))))
00:25 XXX is well.
00:25 XXX: :)))
00:25 YYY: What do you mean by that?
00:25 YYY about sex?
00:26 XXX: Well there... there are such... think: "we still need to buy flour, sugar, a couple of biscuits for the cake. Here is! This is a great cake"

D is

Case from life: NASA, Satellite Communications Center. In the backyard there is a functioning satellite on which they check the correctness of the command before sending it to the same satellite to Mars. Once the space explorers did not have time to make a check, and in a hurry sent instructions immediately to the Martian satellite. Then the satellite stopped responding. NAS sheep long scratched their heads - what's wrong? They decided to send the same message to the test satellite. What would you think? He installed the receiving antenna.

Yesterday I ate half a strawberry. I dreamed all night that I was looking for
The city toilet. The dream turned out to be a nightmare: I looked everywhere, in the dungeons, in the
On the streets, in the subway, at McDonald’s.
I woke up in the morning and thanked the fate for not finding it.

K is

Lucky
We go with a friend on the street, around the bathroom saw two men approached, took, see, the cover was cut off, the hards were pulled out, the rest was left shit...
Then we see a man with a monitor so he looks at us, puts the monitor next to the washing machine, climbs into the pocket gets the notebook something he writes and lies on the monic and leaves.
We crawl and it is written so loudly: it doesn’t work!It doesn’t work at all!! It is ?

------------
2 system blocks, fucking, system blocks!!!! to

(Discussions on Polish-Russian relations in the comments to the article in Gazeta.ru)

1: Okay, and why did they kill Vanku Susanin?

What did they have to do to give him a compass?

to this:
Yesterday at work, looking at the 100 ruble note, I saw a hole!!! There, if you remember on one side, a man is depicted on a chariot. He was covered and forgot to cover. At work we have never roasted for so long!
= = = = = is = is = is = is = is = is = is = is = is = is
In the middle of the working day, everyone with a smart look works... silence... with a minute difference of 2 thirds of the staff climbs into the pocket for the grandmothers :) They work, bl*...

The Lord! Do not give in to provocation! Let us not allow the rape of the Russian language by all kinds of "yogurt" and "dOverlogs"! Keep speaking right!
The illiteracy of our government does not mean that we should be the same!

Panther (20:21) :
There was one thought in me.

The Star (20:21)
which

Panther (20:22) :
Mines were invented by sailors when they caught a mermaid.

by Star (20:22)
The perverted

If you scream on the street "Hey, fool!" – I don’t turn around.

Serg: Why is it?

friends (all those who want a normal BOR), let’s let this be the last "citation" that doesn’t fit under the definition of quote, on BOR. Let us foolishly ignore and disregard all kinds of eblocytes with morals, rules of spelling, etc. If each of us contributes to this and no longer enters the correspondence and puts + eblocytes, then the imbeciles who do not understand why this site is needed will have to be removed from here, because they will be tired of carrying achine with each other.

The Comrade! Not posting "quotes":
1) with morals
2) What a bad life
3) with "and I am one such?" "only with us" and td and tp
4) Rules of Orthography
5) Answers to other quotes
6) with the words " as you did with p.1-5)
7) with the words "author you p"breathe" (let it be better to compose a funny story than to write UG)
...
Let the BOR be, though not with IT quotes, but with funny household quotes. No rubbish on the boat.! to

XHH: Guess what we did in the first pair of third class?? to
Oh yeah... the diffusion?
We had the basics of computers. technology... and we painted an Excel table in a notebook.
Tagged: bleak

I want a guy
XXX with the car
You can do it without a guy.

In response to:

What is Freud.

A woman has a close friend – a man. That means he most likely likes her, which is why he spends so much time with her. She treats him strictly as a friend. Say, you’re a cool guy, but you don’t attract me in the "this" sense.
It’s the same as if a person came to an interview and the employer said:
You have a great resume, you have the qualifications we need, but we won’t accept you. However, we use your resume as a sample to compare with other candidates. But we’re going to take one who’s much less skilled than you, and most likely an alcoholic. And if it doesn’t work with him, we’ll take someone else, but not you anyway. Actually, we will never accept you. But sometimes we will call you to complain about those we have accepted.
Humor does not contain

This is one of the most important things in the world.

Fuck, how I understand you.

BOUGAGA: After Moscow (When on the pedestrian crossing at the green sphatofor real can drive on the pedestrian), being in Lipetsk was pleasantly surprised.
Drivers give in to pedestrians at the crossing. Either in Lipetsk all drivers are culturally educated or they are strictly...

Alister Crowley: They didn’t know you were a Moscovite.

<lisnake> No one is perfect
<No one> I know :(

Are you a type of vampire? and :)
and no. I am a youth girl.

Look at the video, I dropped it.

I: And I’ve seen this before, you and Lenka showed us :-)
Lena was impressed.

We come from you, an example dialogue:
Fuck, Oleg was a dumb man!
Yes, there is such a shit...
How did you meet him?
Noah, he is my father.
- O_O