A man in his life should do at least two heroic acts - to say to a girl "marry me" and years later "go to bed, I will wash this mountain of dishes."

Starget: The question as a fighter, in fact
The Roman: Well?
Starget: When you beat your foot, you have to fold your fingers on it in your fist, like on your hand? )))))
It is a php)))

History of the world at school. The teacher calls the girl to the board and asks to tell about Cesare Borgia. The girl starts pretty vigorously, it is visible that she has studied.
Q: Who was Caesar’s father?
D: * clinging to * A – Alessandro.
“Alexander,” and then what? If you answer correctly, you get five.
D: I thought a little, but I don’t remember the serial number.
The class is hysterical. In the end, the teacher still put a “5” to the girl. Her father works as a programmer.

Everyone once was drunk, don’t raise this topic anymore!
I am all, silent
Is it better in front or behind?
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Tag: from behind

I want a house on the ocean shore.
Why Why?
That the fools surround me only from three sides.

Reaction of the ionizer:

It looks great next to the monitor :)
Disadvantages: I don't know if it works

Comments on the video of the tornado from Sochi:

This damned aliens are stealing our water! All the conscience lost, green cheeks)))

The received money (100%) is desirable to be distributed in this proportion: 50% - to sacrifice for a good cause, 25% - to postpone for unexpected expenses, 10% to needy relatives and 15% - to spend on yourself.

WOW: I have 50% to pay for public services. Is it considered a good thing?

You are helping someone to buy a third villa.

Love is when you know for sure that your wife is stupid, but you hide it from her for a lifetime.

We and the guys rushed to the gay parade and Serega acted like a real friend he said Run guys I’ll hold them back.

Dialogue with a girl on the subject of physical culture in the university.
I want to do something like aerobics. You can several times a week. Not easy and not an athlete.
It’s called sex, and I’m at your service :D

One of the first computer systems of U.S. air defense (the 1960s) in the first duty raised the alarm, assuming the moon rising from beyond the horizon as an enemy missile, as this "object" was approaching the territory of the U.S. and did not give signals that it was "your"

And was it not stated further that this happened because of the mistake of a man who put the maximum altitude of danger instead of 600 kilometers in 6 million kilometers?

I ended up with his unseen shower gel, used mine - with the smell of chocolate. We roll, we press, he smells of me), then his hand:
You’re chocolate, and I’m now chocolate, fun!
And so proudly:
You’re just chocolate and I’m chocolate with nuts.

Jk: I have a fly on the monitor, as if I understand what shit I’m writing.

You just need to push the press.
Deffachka: You press something on your legs and start
Deffachka: until the stomach hurts
Dexter: it does not hurt yet.
Deffachka: another catch
Only the legs hurt.
Deffachka: It’s OK
In the place where I put them in the couch.

The Orthodox Church warns: Reading the Bible leads to atheism!

I set up a taxpayer.
What is usually written on the check?
Any joke out there...

My wife told me.
In the kindergarten of the son in the group holiday is the Day of the Family.
The teacher asks the mother and son questions alternately so that they do not hear each other's answers, and then the mother must guess how the son replied? I asked my mother:
What is your favorite dish and how do you call it at home?
The wife answers:
He loves kindergarten surprises. I call him a cat, a rabbit.
What the teacher answers:
Not so... think again. Your son answered differently.
The Wife:
Amy...?! to
The Educator:
Gastronomic answers :)
The Wife:
O O O O? !! by! to
It turns out that the son loves potatoes with meat (a delight – and then how?). As for the loving nicknames, he admitted that his house is called "Bulochka" and "Sosiska".
Such a contagious laughter from the other parents had never been heard before.

She bought a cream, gave a candle as a gift. What to do with her...?
He: Go home, I’m going to snowboard!

You won’t believe what picture I saw today at 8am.
Olya:???????????????????????and.
Svetlana: in the fucking drunk GUSAR (!!!) She sits at the stop and the white horse eats the grass behind her!!!!..
Svetlana: in addition to everything else the Kazakh GUSAR))))))))))))))))))))))))