bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №133141
 05.09.2016
XXX: Here you laugh, and in case of failure, I am waiting for a viciously laughing ass!
YYY: I don’t even want to imagine what it will look like.
XXX: I have presented...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №133140
 05.09.2016
Evidence has been obtained that the Aztecs used selfies for their bloody ceremonies.

We won’t show you those pictures. With love. of your reptiles.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №133139
 05.09.2016
It could not be so in the United States. Store guards here carry a completely decorative function, and they are strictly prohibited to touch visitors. The most they can do is stop verbally and ask (! - You are not obliged to obey) to check the bags, and if you did not listen - to call the cops. and all!

/////////////////////////////////////

It is the same shit in Russia. Even if you look them in the eyes, you hold a bottle of whisker behind your sinuses. But, periodically, it is necessary to read how another old lady was broken hand and foot by the security guards of a particular trading network.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №133138
 05.09.2016
When I was a child, I had two diaries at school, the first I provided when the five and praise came to me, the second contacted the teachers when it came to the pairs and comments. Not much has changed since then, now I have white and black accounting.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №133137
 05.09.2016
Purchased Kinesio tape through an online store, their point of sale of goods they do not have, but the warehouse is near the house. Called, agreed to pick up the goods at a personal meeting, they said that they would meet near the TC, so as not to look for a warehouse. The woman asked what color she wanted, and she answered that body.

We talked, called and met.

I bought a beige and black. In any case.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №133136
 05.09.2016
told one acquaintance. He himself worked in the ambulance, and saw a lot, but one case remembered clearly. They hit a guy with a knife in the chest (yes, people don't die immediately from the knife, you have to try to die immediately: ))

What happened next.

P is the patient, B is the doctor.

Q: Doctor, you can sit down, which is very bad.

A: Okay but carefully.

The guy sat down, sat down Min 2 and pulled a knife out of his chest.

Q: What are you doing? ! to You can’t take a knife until you get to the hospital.

Q: Okay okay okay! Do not be so nervous.

He pushed the knife back into his chest. They continued in silence, the patient’s actions were stunned. Eventually, he has a slightly damaged lungs. Now he is whole and healthy :) This is the story of the ambulance.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №133135
 05.09.2016
A psychologist, drunk from the awareness of his own rigidity, told the participants of the seminar about his author’s method of diagnosing psychological problems in a child:



When a child is brought to me. I first ask him to pick a toy out of this box. If a child chooses a soft toy, it means that he is lacking in parental love, cluttered jewel - aggressiveness, a hard ugly begemot - disrupted communication with his father, a doll - a negative experience of communication with his mother.



I was tired of this nonsense, and I broke the glow of the domestic psychology of the local spill:

What should a child choose to be recognized as normal?



The psychologist looked at me and replied sharply:

I am not brought to normal people.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №133134
 05.09.2016
Opium for the people?

I remember once being in Peter, took a tour of the temples. So everywhere the group was introduced inside, and the mosque was not allowed, say not Muslims can not enter. The most crazy thing in the synagogue was: everywhere ads that it is forbidden to photograph, but right next to the sign that for 500 rubles you can.

It is interesting, and in the places of predominance of Muslims in the mosque and so allowed, and excursions are conducted. Probably, in Peter they fear that the spirit of Muslims in the mosque will weaken if unbelievers are allowed there.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №133133
 05.09.2016
The all-creator personally did not help when the Holocaust was created on earth by the ugly, and you, fucking, expect him to control the Pokémon!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №133132
 05.09.2016
Fuck you guys. I went blind on the cats.
Metallica - pop, Iron Maiden - Via Balalaečnikov, Timati - rapper. Stop to! Timothy is really a rapper. Just a fucking

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №133131
 05.09.2016
If Fallout were done in Russia, the most popular currency would be the multi-colored covers from the

The Soviet milk.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №133130
 05.09.2016
I don’t see any difference between a fool who catches Pokémon in a church and an Orthodox who comes to the bordell and is outraged by the corruption that is happening there.
And the state sees :(

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №133129
 05.09.2016
Emma Watson and Margot Robbie will play the lovers in the remake of "Gorbatha Mountain"

The main characters are not gay, but lesbians. thank you. You can die happy.


[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №133128
 05.09.2016
The hunt for Pokémon is old. It’s time to hunt the pops. Not with a smartphone, but with an arbalet.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №133127
 05.09.2016
Give me that box of candy!
They are not fresh.
I don’t care, I’m a doctor.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №133126
 05.09.2016
The level of happiness hormones reaches a peak during sex and when consuming sweets.

So, if you eat chocolate and fuck at the same time, you can break from happiness. Take care of yourself.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №133125
 05.09.2016
The former of my sister was literally proud of every new pound. I was 129, when I remembered the last time, and I wanted to...
YYY: is it a sumoist?
XXX: The Idiot

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №133124
 05.09.2016
During the installation, it turned out that the bath pipet with some screw and bush. If you put it on a plane instead of a propeller, it will take off. I think it is better for all employees of this company to apply for disability. Workers, respectively, assign the group as handless, management and ITR as persons with intellectual disabilities.

[ + 46 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №133123
 05.09.2016
My friend complained about the internet. During the conversation, it turns out that she does not have a password on Wi-Fi. I explain to her that she probably feeds the internet of all her neighbors. I explained how to set a password. I put. His speed to joy improved.

Then the neighbor came down to complain. I said what kind of shit, you why wifay paroled, the year was normal and here on the.. Give me a password.

I don’t understand how people come here to complain about this. It was crazy, be glad. And coming up with an enemy and asking for a password is the top of boldness. Paying for it didn’t come to mind.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №133122
 05.09.2016
Gigil (Tagal, Philippines) is an irresistible desire to bite someone you love, caused by an excess of feelings.
xx: I understood, it turns out, my cat had an enthusiasm from the beginning

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