Brother: A group member complained at the lab that the iPhone box cannot be used as a lineup.
Sister: Apple’s patent policy prohibits?

I took a taxi yesterday. A young Eastern man. On the crossroads, a small lighthouse burns little. I was driving for a short time thinking through two consecutive meetings on the red - wick! Right is not a pity? He replies, I do not have them!
I love Moscow.

My mom is on vacation, she writes:
Mother: We are in Rome.
Son is OK. Send a greeting to Dad.
I went without my dad, alone.
Go to Rome with your father!? to

xxx: ate, probably, sushi in Russian: a caras with a strawberry wrapped in a loophole

From Mail News:

"The world’s first real Russian smartphone is almost ready"

You just think...

Gift from GIBDD by 1 September: +20km/h FREE!!! to

Comments on the flooding in Khabarovsk:
Oh, we shouldn’t have offended Neptune!

A colleague said:
-I go to the subway, the automatic crawler broke, the driver announces the next station of the pebble... thyfu, pebble"

Slayer :
How is your rest? How about Thailand?
by wgr:
To whisper at all. The second day I sit and don’t get out of the room.
Slayer :
Is the rain coming?
by wgr:
Worse... has it come? To me a thick Thai grandmother and a rough male voice said (said?) "I will be your lady. Let’s go today!" Apparently, it wasn’t even a question. That was where my imprisonment began.

xxx: We are calling now, asking to call the accountant's phone. I explain to them that the accountant comes, she is not in the office. At the end of the wire specify whether they correctly entered the number, call OOO "Nimbus". No, I say I was wrong.

I wondered what Nimbus was like. have stunned. Google helpfully adds an article from the Wiki on Harry Potter: "High-speed hamsters Nimbus" - a company for the manufacture of high-speed hamsters series "Nimbus".

Colleague, thoughtfully: they should have told us that the accountant is not coming, but coming.

When you leave, you always get in good company.

The Shell

told me.
A friend had a dog. Twenty years ago, or even more. A wonderful dog of the Caucasian-Alabayev breed, with a size of a medium bear and a rare kindness. The latter is not a joke, the dog for his entire long life if suddenly scared anyone, then exceptionally accidentally, and then - only by its size.
The dog had a very special sense of humor and loved his owners very much. For example, she thought that if she was tired of walking, but it was ignorant to climb to the owner with a bag – the size of a suitcase – and also with saliva. Might be easier. With a little run-off, knock this suitcase at the entrance door. “The Booch! But what, do they not guess? Of course they guess! How can we not please such intelligent people?
She handed away her stuff and brought it to her owners. To rejoice, because it is a mess - someone has it, and the favorite masters do not have it.
So then.
The evening, the summer, the beach and the fishermen.
The dog safely turns out of the collar and is taken somewhere there "there". The owner, accustomed to such fints, quietly sits on the bench, smokes and waits when he wills to go for a walk, simultaneously giving in to philosophical reflections.
and here...
He barely swallowed a cigarette.
Directly on him goes something, most like a giant turtle, but with a reservation - such healthy turtles he has not even seen in "Walk with Dinosaurs". In addition, this without the head and legs of the turtles from below, and not to the sides as the turtle.
"Pancyr" safely throws away, after which it turns out to be a rubber boat from which the "motor part" is selected with a joyful smile into the whole vast palm. “Sir, look at what a great thing!”
The owner smokes the second and says, “Have you brought it? The young man. Now take where you got it!”
The dog is not offended, well, what do you do, did not like the gift... turns the boat, carefully "blows" it on itself and itches in the opposite direction. The owner, drowning, proceeds in the footsteps.
He finds on the shore a completely stunned fisherman.
His story :
“The boat was blown up, I was about to sail away, and here this beast appears, as if it would crumble, but the tail is rolling. I am standing like a fool, with a wretch – which you will not get rid of anyway from such a machina. And she... a boat cap – and it wasn’t! No boats or dogs. I am already standing up with happiness as a complete idiot, because to whom you tell - to a psychiatrist will be sent, and I am not very sure of his adequacy. The dog stole the boat!! to
But further is better. While I was trying to turn my brains on, the bushes were shrinking and my boat came back. The Same. On the feet.
If I hadn’t seen a man, I’d definitely go to a psychiatrist.”

Wife to husband: - You will offend me, I will go to courses "How to become a straw"
A husband as a teacher?

XXX is Healthy! Where are you missing?
I am in the Peloponnese.
Fuck the details! What country?? to

Xxx: Everything, I can’t do more, I don’t even work anymore
YYY: Massage it and keep working!!! to

Alby: I don’t understand, the fly doesn’t slip from Monica all day, and he’s hardly hot. Next to the lamp, on top of it is much warmer, why not turn it off there.

REYH: This is an independent assessment of content quality.

XX: as usual
YYY: Who are they?
xxx are they! and Onyia!
Zzz: Yyy, don’t pay attention, he blames them for everything.
YYY: Who are they?
ZZZ: They are of Iii!

The Habr:

Ms got married to Nokia, after all this shit.
I did not cheat, yes.
Rather taken hostage.

Strange days have passed. Suddenly the roads began to work. Although there are roads, in my yard decided to make a normal entrance. People have become more properly behaved. All very strange.
And I guessed what the problem was when I saw a new task in the task list (I work in tech support).
The Huhuhuh Department. Theme of the task: "Problems with the Matrix"

Why do you "Fundamentals of Orthodox Culture" walk?
The end of the quarter is already, and you have a rating - between epithymia and anathema!