bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 43 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134101
 28.09.2016
Don’t go fucking! If a man for several years in a row fainted to fuck the same thing and pretends he does not want others, he is unhealthy. If it speaks about love, it is unhealthy, even mentally.

Miloko, you can justify your husband’s folly with his “psychic health” as much as you want. Normal healthy men can want others as much as they want, but they will never do anything to have others. If I eat a spaghetti cake and see someone’s ice cream, of course, I may want ice cream, but I won’t quit taking it, even if I’m not in danger of it. Just because we are human beings, not cattle, to catch any piece of grass in the field of sight. Because we have love and you don’t have it, that’s why you’re fucking bored.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №134100
 28.09.2016
<putout> I like this idea. I will now approach the ladies who listened to the lecture and imagine: "Hello, I'm a racer, don't you want to write in your womb a few interesting genes so that your children are tall and beautiful? The service is paid."

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №134099
 28.09.2016
Alcohol is harmful. I’ve gotten a bit off and lost my phone.)
WOW: It is fine. I stood on the lighting yesterday, I wanted to cross the road, and I see - some busty man throws a girl under the car, he does not allow to pass. The girl jumped out, struck him between his legs, and pushed out on the side. She sat in the car, just left, and then apparently noticed that the man’s bag fell. He returned and broke the bag.
Here I am green, I go over, I get to the package - there were banks with beer and eggs. A strange combination. The man next to me is stuck. He didn’t eat eggs, in every sense.
This is the harm of alcohol, and you say the phone lost by drunkenness.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №134098
 28.09.2016
This is:

We need to teach children to "give out" adequately.
Called to? Let him be able to answer with words so that the offender will no longer sneeze.
And teaching him to move his fist in response to the words is a straight path to the colony or traumatology for the child himself.

Gentlemen, usually who says so thinks that a man speaking ugliness from the series "Natasha Bukashka". I will tell a secret, such jokes usually up to 3 class. The speakers often did not say that.
You said, “Nastia, a prostitute,” and then you couldn’t understand why Zhenka, your good friend from all the way, grabbed you with a wallet. It just liked the woman.
Or stick the gum into the girl’s hair. So she had to shave her hair clean.
And then insulting that “waste, waste.”
I remember the fun. He struck the boy in the shoe while he was in the dining room.
All of these moments are not taken from any dirty school. High School, one of the best schools in the region.
Teachers on the drum. They insult? Not their problems. Tinnitus in the hair? The fault itself. Damn in the shoes? He hurt the wrongdoers. They are such good boys... 20 years have passed, everyone is sitting.
The only hooligan who ceased to behave like a freak, who got puzzles.

So what is this? Adults on the drum. And those who have been hated try to protect their hated children by saying that "you can offend, no one will unleash fists."

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №134097
 28.09.2016
From Gipsylilya:

Three elderly women are talking.
The weather became awful.
The most disgusting time has come. From morning to evening, like in London.
At least we have something like in London.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №134096
 28.09.2016
> A hundred young people organized a massive fight in a town after a conflict in a disco bar "The shelter of a goat"

Babylon 1 hour ago:

Now about every fight of minors are written in the central media, in my youth there was a gathering of dancers up to one and a half thousand boys and even in the city newspaper did not mention this.)

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134095
 28.09.2016
I bake shrimp every day, not because I am a wealthy worker, but because I work in a shrimp.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №134094
 28.09.2016
HK: And I can’t do procrastination, I’m always distracted by something.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №134093
 28.09.2016
The organization “Officials of Russia”, which sought to close the “pedophile” exhibition, is headed by not an officer. It seems that’s all you need to know about her.

and Zzz:
@ Creates an organization "Generals of Russia"
@ You come to the office "Officials of Russia" and order them to build a mansion for you
@...
@ Profit

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №134092
 28.09.2016
[13:04:19] Husband: Scientists of the European Community Survey of Respiratory Health have concluded that prolonged contact with animals prevents many diseases of the respiratory system in the future.
Wife: What are you doing?
There will be no cats!!! to
[13:05:53] husband :' (

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №134091
 28.09.2016
xxx> what is it?
yyy> I decided
xxx> is a man!
XXX> What are you looking for?
H&M and I don’t know. I like all the concepts.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №134090
 28.09.2016
The Patriarch signed a ban on any kind of abortion.
Oh, butterflies, let’s stop the men, right? On the deck, what’s in us, what’s in the fist, what’s in the pictures of Joke, the gentlemen, Sturges. Interesting how long will it last?

If they accept, in the spring in the forest plantations oh how many small bodies will be found!

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №134089
 28.09.2016
A strong family is when you argue only about one thing – who will be on top.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №134088
 28.09.2016
On the advice of the prime minister, the sister went to business - a seller in a small store "bread and vodka".

Being a woman from birth extremely delicate and polite, from the very first day she understood how much everything is started in our kingdom. Buyers of Hamlet. Hamili is not because they were sold something wrong or overwhelmed, but Hamili is simply by nature. Well, our dear average Russian can not do two things: not spit his mouth in the olive and not hide others.
When the alkashi are chanted, it is understandable at least somehow a drunk person who does not control himself. But why the teenagers cheat, why the women cheat, making themselves out in front of their companions, was completely unclear.

The weapon was found in the person of the husband-employee of the RWD. No, he didn’t run around the store with the face of a petcantrop guard, he didn’t run with a gun after the hamas. The husband just hung a video camera over the shelf and recorded everything that was happening. The next ham did not force himself to wait long - after being loaded up and habitually placed on the seller's mat, he was firmly fixed by the approaching police officer. The seller immediately wrote a statement and after a quick trial, the ham left for 15 days. On the first day, the local alkas did not count two dozen of their comrades of both sexes. The struggles for the culture and purity of the Russian language went with stunning success.Already a week later, the owner of the store noted the growth of revenue-shoppers, without risking to be beaten or worn, became longer in the store and bought more.

The trouble came from where you did not expect it. A month after the innovation in the store, the head of the row in anger called on the carpet everyone he could reach. The cause was the explosive increase in the number of people planted on the "huliganka". But God is there and he proved it, directly during the "discovery of flights" the chief was called from the headquarters and congratulated with the rise in the rank for the sharp decrease in criminal crimes in the area.

The chief was not Lobachevsky, but was able to establish a direct relationship between those who left for 15 days and a 30-percent reduction in crime in the area. Employees were asked to work out a new method and spread it to the entire territory of the district-the head of the roads is very keen to become a general.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №134087
 28.09.2016
He wanted to go to the extrasensus, but something doubted his capabilities and changed his mind. Soon came the SMS:
“Well in vain.”

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №134086
 28.09.2016
After asking how I was dealing with the exhibition, I had to look at the news. There I learned that in our country, in addition to the committee of unborn soldier mothers, there is a union of non-serving officers.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №134085
 28.09.2016
And if in the dark a dog runs on you, you can get a lighter (if any) and light it in front of the dog.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYY? Illuminating the goal?

zzz: If a dog smokes, it will shrink from such politeness, smoke, thank and go on with its affairs.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №134084
 28.09.2016
One of the recent CSKA matches. The soldiers do something strange in someone else's penalty, did not score a true goal. Slucki is shown: it crumbles like Fuko's pendulum, and the whole screen is seen as a whisper: "Blia-ja-ja! I am so happy!"
There is a short pause in the comment, during which the speaker apparently decides whether to leave the show without a comment, or to say something, after which he issues:
We only have to guess what Leonid Slutsky talked about with his assistant Victor Onopko..."

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №134083
 28.09.2016
Title: "NASA has discovered water geysers in Europe".
First comment: not in Europe, but in Europe.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №134082
 27.09.2016
The Background: All Salad with Smolecules!
Stokermolchun: with molecules you salad!

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