bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №35427
 02.09.2010
Belkino: Now you understand why I crampfully look for old Soviet textbooks? To teach a child at home, otherwise there will be +1 to the generation of those who have received the tower and who write "excited".

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №35426
 02.09.2010
xxx: (10:38:03 2/09/2010)
Hunted mouse yesterday.
zzz: (10:48:02 2/09/2010)
and how
xxx: (10:48:33 2/09/2010)
I put the bowl to the nork 3 l, poured oil there so that the legs would slip and it could not get out.
xxx: (10:48:40 2/09/2010)
We did not see her there yesterday.
xxx: (10:48:48 2/09/2010)
I come in the morning and in the bank.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №35425
 02.09.2010
XXX: What did you bring?
I don’t know, but I’ll drink it.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №35424
 02.09.2010
The Berry Juice:
Today I saw a district therapist (a former military doctor, a relatively young man) in a bullshit with the inscription:
What is the influenza coming to us?

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №35423
 02.09.2010
I want unforgettable impressions of something incredibly good and unusual.
Say just that you want to fuck and don’t shake your head.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №35422
 02.09.2010
We were defeated by ants. I asked my friend (p) counsel.
p: buy pearls and squeeze around the house along the perimeter
I: And what will happen?
Q: These pearls look like ants eggs. When they see them, they will be drawn into a antscape.
I: Well, they will move them all to themselves, and what then? They will return!
P: No, they won’t come back, they’ll go out!

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №35421
 02.09.2010
I sit down and fold the chicken. Mother stretches a peach (I don’t see it) with the words:
Do not throw the bone.
Why to you?
I will plant in the earth to grow.
That’s what they’re getting out of the eggs...

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №35420
 02.09.2010
Stories go crazy by things that sometimes come true.

[ + 39 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №35419
 02.09.2010
The story of the fact that in every minus is hidden a fat plus...
A woman received a notification by mail about a fine for excess speed.
I looked at the photo - her car, the fine she paid, but the fact is that during the violation of the PDD, the lady, along with the car, was in the country forty kilometers from the third ring, but in the police she did not say a word.
It is clear as a good day that it was a double car (the hijackers break the numbers under the already existing car).
Since the time on the photo was six in the morning, the lady suggested that her twin was rushing to work.
Every day, two weeks, from half-sixth to half-seventh, our heroine was waiting for a double on the same place of the third ring. I saw it once, but did not catch it, it was very fast. The other time, the movement was louder and she managed to adjust to him.
The man walked into some office and entered. The barkeeper parked away, approached the office and called the evacuator.
A truck arrived, the evacuator pulled a passport from the lady, documents on the car and, without unnecessary words, loaded the machine-double onto the platform. By the edge of the eye, the lady saw in the crowd a man who was very worried, but did not dare to say anything...
As a result, our heroine, as before, rides on her car, but her parents have the same carpet, on which the old women now drive to the village for milk. These were my neighbors and they told me this story.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №35418
 02.09.2010
In animal protection, vodka has done more in hunting than all Greenpeace records combined.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №35417
 02.09.2010
Alex is
Thank you very much for all the good words and wishes :)))) I love all of you, I shake my hands on the men, the female part :))))
Basilisk
Where is the male female part you kiss? % of

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №35416
 02.09.2010
A friend came to Luhansk for a meeting. Very dressed, everything is done. There was a free time, went to the cafe - to order coffee, then a dialogue with the waitress:
– American
I don't speak English

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №35415
 02.09.2010
denistnt> I will never forget how in the 90s, the running line was the announcement: "The whisky store sells wholesale and retail liquor and vodka products";

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №35414
 02.09.2010
1 of September. The office window goes out to the school. We sit at work.
There was a thunderstorm on the street, the thunderstorm began.
Flegmatic voice of colleagues: "Oh, children exploded school"

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №35413
 02.09.2010
Odin went on vacation. I decided to clean up in my office before this case. We go to the environmentalists.
The environmentalist looking at clean tables without servers, system drivers, printers and other iron gives out: what, you were robbed?

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №35412
 02.09.2010
Talk about antivirus:

I’ve never used antivirus, so I’m protected.
Do you have time to remove the wire from the compound?

[ + 58 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №35411
 02.09.2010
The Gamer Forum:

[13-06, 08:46] SIDOVSKY: and I got five in all the exams)
[13-06, 08:56] bon: the wicked
[13-06, 09:07] humbaS: Destroyed
[13-06, 09:15] WalWer
[13-06, 09:23] Mah Jongg

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №35410
 02.09.2010
The Prelude:
We run, look for a sex shop with a girlfriend, but we can’t find it. There was a museum store nearby. With his tools, he decided to come in and ask where he was.
Do you know where the sex shop is?
P is no. A small pause. I have a huge selection of microphones.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №35409
 02.09.2010
Technical support provider:
The operator: Good night.
Andrei: Hello to you. How is it?
A is good.
A: Do they often talk to you at night?
A: Now yes, so if you have any questions, I listen to you carefully.
A is trouble. I wanted to play with you in words. The internet has not turned on yet. If I distract you, I apologize.
A: Andrei, don’t miss, there is a sappar and a sink. All the good. to Goodbye.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №35408
 02.09.2010
XX: It seems that the bosses have put you in specific lulls for late, since you are at work today on time.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY It happened accidentally.

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