bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №52863
 05.09.2011
Q: Did Nakhera Sobyanin spend so much money on the day of the city?
WOW: He probably found Lužkov’s treasure under one of the sidewalks.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №52862
 05.09.2011
I can't find cowards and I only have one clean socks.
YYY: Well, put it on the h*j and go to work!

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №52861
 05.09.2011
of Novosibirsk.
xxx: What you are on foreigners, I was here a few years ago in Peter, just finished school, so the hostess whose apartment was rented, asked where we were from, I said that from Novosibirsk, she said, "A... We came to proceed." We said no, we have our own universities. She was so surprised that there are universities in Novosibirsk.
yyy: Join us, our partners (!!!) In Moscow, they rejoice, for my beautiful city on the Volga, they admire our Ural mountains, they envy that enough to cross the river and you will be in China!
zzz: Yes, and also Moscow colleagues always clarify: Novosibirsk? In what area is this?
Perm taxi drivers are burning: Well, tell me you have a subway!
aaa: brought here some guys-Moscow from the airport... amused the question of the girl... and right away to Vladivostok nearby? Approximately 6000 km. and yes? I thought it was somewhere nearby.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №52860
 05.09.2011
There are two mothers with little children talking about something. One girl cries and cries through, cracking - "Maamaaa! Why does he not love me? Mother is distracted and shouts the same - "The life is not fair at all!and "

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №52859
 05.09.2011
I sit in the smoking room, listening to the conversation of two employees (women in the summer).
There are always ants in the sugar bar!
And I was taught how to do so that they didn’t climb on the table.
I worry...
I will pour them sugar on the floor and they will no longer climb on the table!! to
I was smoking :) :)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №52858
 05.09.2011
He burned the bridges, but left the boat.

[ + 53 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52857
 05.09.2011
The preamble.
This was in America in 1999. We worked on a joint program with the Americans. Installation of equipment both Russian and American. As a result, Russian installers and American workers work in one not very large space. Communication, if necessary, is carried out only through an interpreter. Our installers, knowing that American engineers and workers do not understand Russian, no longer embarrassed, accompany all their actions with familiar expressions.

The Ambulance.
I stand on the bottom floor. There are two Americans there. I want to communicate, but the language barrier does not allow.
A few squares above, someone runs a hole key, which crashes to the bottom square just outside of us and falls. A man standing next to him, throwing his finger into the falling key, commented:
“The Devil!“He looks at me with a happy face. I was going to sneak, right. At this point, the second American corrects:
“Wow, the dolphin!” I cried from laughter.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №52856
 05.09.2011
and dear! Your “nothing to wear” is nowhere to put together!

[ + 49 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52855
 05.09.2011
Discussions about sex.

xxx: vegetable oils can not be used for lubrication ;)
In the extreme case, eggs.
I’m who I want to be.)
It’s for egg protein 😉

YYY: ahah 😉

XXX is not funny.)

yyy: I presented it))

xxx is not good 😉
It is OK 😉

xxx: once, got an egg, a knife, broke like a bowl xD

YYYY: and you cook)))

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52854
 05.09.2011
...
She says, “Who are you holding me for?” From the seeds the sunflower grows!! to

You and others like:
Where do you find such empty-headed girls? I never met...

My ex (two higher education, one of the diplomas - red) up to 25 years old was sure that the thushenka was in front of the legs, and in the back - a copytka! Cappuccino, the Cappuccino! to
She is not empty. She is just a grandmother =)
Buxxxy

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №52853
 05.09.2011
An acquaintance (65 years old) told how her grandson (4 years old) approached her and with sad eyes, seriously asked: "Grandmother, why do I not remember you young?"

[ + 60 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52852
 05.09.2011
Many of the girls on the benches say that they love New York, and on the face - that Perm...

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №52851
 05.09.2011
Tatiana: How to install the Macintosh [Apple] operating system for iPhone on the LG CR500 phone?
Yes, I know that requires a request. I would be glad to know how this case is to apologize for the "apple" operating room was.

KRV: How to plug a ship diesel into a rubber boat? Yes, I know I have to remove the bench...

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №52850
 05.09.2011
Supplement to:
<UncleFedor> children’s progress has gotten dumb
<UncleFedor> earlier in the institute schedule will be suspended - and you will not push to rewrite
<UncleFedor> the squid approached - the squid - gone.

Why go somewhere if there is a website of a native universe with a schedule?and :)

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №52849
 05.09.2011

Irina
I removed you from my life!! I removed you from my heart!! to
Evgeny
I forgot my friends.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №52848
 05.09.2011
From VIO on mail.ru
Q: Where can I download the primitive human speech for free?
Write yourself on a dictionary.

[ + 66 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52847
 05.09.2011
Commentary on the game on the tracker:

xxx: How can you tell people how much traffic is left?
yyy: Buy a video card at a reasonable price
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Someone has an E.Y.E. Divine Cybermancy?
BBB: That’s such a drunk. I sell a motorcycle! urgently!
ccc: I'm not going to drop off but I have a lot of bugs in the game...

[ + 87 - ] Comment quote №52846
 05.09.2011
I read the article about the sporting system of the grant. For better maneuverability in it used drives of equal length, so when accelerating the car does not pull to the right.
That is success! These are good guys!

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №52845
 05.09.2011

20:49 Why are we not sleeping?
The girls usually write these questions!!))
00:22:46 xxx ln Do you sleep a horse?

[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52844
 05.09.2011
The Ministry of Education and Science of the Russian Federation has announced a tender for the creation of a engine for its new project - the multiplayer game "Battle for Moscow".

“Politics... here the phrase ‘new Russian engine’ is more important than common sense. I’t worry about the engine. What is "The Battle of Moscow" and an analogue of WoW?

Will children be forced to play in schools? 10 tanks of the Wehrmacht - 3, 10 tanks and the capture of the barracks - 4. Olya, to the board, show you how you defeat the Hitlerites. Well, who shoots so, da-ka Josefina Pavlovna will show as it should be, for the last time!"

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