One of my acquaintances on anti-spam asks:
"Jack the Sparrow?" Guess the correct answer.

The whole essence of our universe in one letter:
On the 1st of September at noon there is a message that informs that the classes on the Day of Knowledge begin exactly at 10.30.

Today, in a computer science lesson, I learned how people become Linux.
Teacher: Schools don’t have money for Windows, so we’ll have Linux.

From the transmission about Ivan Ohlobystin.

Before shooting the program, while everything is set up.
I’ll sit in the jacket, okay? My whole body is painted. Uncomfortable somehow.
From the filming group: Okay. Timothy came to us. He is the same.
Ohlobystin: Noow... He has a position, I am drunk.

I go to the bar and drink beer with a girl. He takes a towel, wipes out his mouth and says:
She: Kakieto wipes are hard, like they are made of wood!
I: so it is, a towel is made of paper, and paper is made of wood.
What is the tree made of?
I: Well, it happens, a seed falls on the ground and a tree grows out of it.
She says, “Who are you holding me for?” From the seeds the sunflower grows!! to

You and others like:
Where do you find such empty-headed girls? I never met...

Advertising: How many seeds are needed to squeeze a bottle of oil?
WOW: Give a bunch of seeds to the hopper and he will press anything for you.

Fuck, when my grandmother was sitting at my computer, she caught a virus. Now she thinks I’m watching gay men rape minor boys and I can’t convince her. Meeting with parents on Monday. x_x

Be careful UG!! to

A boy who sheltered two “Angels” as Jehovah’s Witnesses.
This sect is actively mocking the so-called "attack of love."Honestly, you don't know about sex, etc., the mouth just slightly overwhelmed you, but I've already seen how such kind and responsive sectarians turned completely guilty people into brainless fanatics.
Do not relax too much carrot.

I mean, I wrote it naked? As I said above, I’ve already seen this and I don’t want the sect, to which I am very negative, to be filled with another person.

Software Developer: Why is there no access to the server? We cannot set the program.
Admin: The fact is that the employees of the company disconnect the power of the server. They are "interfering" Noise, whistling and heating increases the possibility of miscarriage in pregnant employees.

Give me a tail, don’t forget to bring me a tail.
WOW: Why
XHH: Why is it?
Why do you have a tail
I’ll be tired of chrysanthemums.

Commentary on the match "Russia-Ukraine"
Where does Ellie look?! to
Eldyrin is not an emotion, but the name of a Turkish referee.

XEOn8: Purity is one of the keys to quality. Look at the photos of the Honda factories, there are all the workers in the cleanest white costumes, white gloves.

ALEMALYOu: and shoot in the Euro-4 standard.

SMS correspondence
...
D: I don’t want to talk to you anymore!! Remove my number!! to
M: very good :)
D: In the sense?? to
M: Who is this?

To instruct passengers to exchange large bills before boarding the city transport, decided in Tobolsk. Now, by buying a ticket, people risk getting a whole bag of little stuff in the form of delivery.
Sergey Kugaevsky looked at the solution to the problem of ticket-free online and, without thinking about it, introduced the same system at his passenger enterprise.
From 500 rubles the passenger receives a deposit in rubles, from a thousand - two, and from 5 thousand - five-ruble coins.
Every day 2-3 people come out with bags from the city buses of Tobolsk. The gift is not of pleasant: the delivery from 5 thousand weighs about 7 kilograms.

From TV :
Medvedev offered oligarchs to tell schoolchildren how they became billionaires. The oligarchs asked him to tell how he became president.

Not an anecdote. It was. Last week, two comrades from neighboring streets were buried. One father sang. to replace. Now the picture: a crossroads, two men stand, waiting for a procession to conduct, so to speak, the last path of a friend. Five minutes standing, ten... smoking. Finally, because of the corner, the puppy rolls out, sharply seeds on the crossroads, the phone is pressed to the ear:
Yes, we sent it, we sent it! Meet all of you!
The second man, the second man:
What do you think is he calling now?! to

I broke my whole brain and cut off a bunch of paper: it turns out if you cut the tape of Mebius exactly in the middle the first time, it doubles in length and twists again, and if you cut it again in the middle you get two strips wrapped together!!! Try it!! And that’s not her only interesting property.

Who in childhood wrote a journal "Quantum" and read "Interesting Geometry" of Perelman, he knows. I’m glad the kids are excited about this again :)

A Muslim holiday in Moscow. If anyone does not know: thousands of believers gather in one place in the capital, almost in the center, and then all this crowded with a thick stream flowing through the streets of the city. I needed to get to the client quickly. I am in one metro-closed with mints, the second, too, in the third-all passed into one door. It was a very bad mood for the entire Muslim crowd. I go down the escalator and I hear the standard ad:"When you find suspicious faces, immediately report bla bla bla..." So I wanted to scream: "There are thousands of people here, crazy!!! ! to

Shorter, they sleep together
He hugs her, she’s already asleep.
HHH: And there, Vanke needed his hand.
What does this Niibaca Copperfield do?
XHH: right, reminds me of the focus with the paddle
He decides to pull out his hand quickly.
In short, he doesn't know how, but Katka, having made a coup, falls to the floor, and he spends a wonderful night on the floor and day in apologies.
When he told me, I roasted like a gray burka.

Nature has not yet known a creature more intricate and insidious than the student at the exam.