bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103259
 25.09.2014
What is the name of the cabin in which you lie when you go?
YYY: What is it? Are you talking about Coupé?! to
Oh yeah yes, of course!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №103258
 25.09.2014
The main thing is forgotten!!! to
— — —
beef, pork, lamb, goat, horse, dog, kangaroo, rhinoceros, meat of salmon, bear, bear, zobrjatina, rabbit, chicken, goat, meat of duck, meat of wild birds and meat of turtles, snakes and frogs. There are more exotic types of meat. By the way, inhabitants of DV to the Chinese-Korean table also add red fish and wild meat.
___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
“Lossietta, "meat of salmon", fucking. A snake, a frog and a catch. I doubt about the turtle, but I do not contradict it.
Dog and cat.
Man is more.
–-----------
So is sushi! G K

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №103257
 25.09.2014
NN: What’s new in school?
I’m still trying to understand what’s going on and the people around me.
I started with this... Then I was treated for alcoholism...

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №103256
 25.09.2014
I sit in the cinema with my husband, I am to the word of life to tears cremation. The film is sad, sad, I strengthened with all my strength, but I could not withstand and revived. My hearing whispered, turned, rounded his eyes and said "Zayenka so you have me is also a man")))

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №103255
 25.09.2014
What is the dark cloud above your cat?
It was over his eggs that clouds thickened after he sucked into his wife’s expensive Italian shoes.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №103254
 25.09.2014
"Nationalist Tikhonov added 18 years to life"

Remembered by "Chipolino":

In short, the old Chipolone was sentenced to imprisonment not only for life, but for many years after his death, because there were also cemeteries in the prisons of Prince Limon.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №103253
 25.09.2014
In the morning at work:
I might get a macbook instead of a notepad. and (
See also: Cool
See also: HZ
You’ll get used to it in a couple of days and you’ll get into it.
XHH: I have never worked on macs and there has never been a special desire.
WOW: you will work, you will understand what its charm and how comfortable it is

The day:
Q: How do you make a menu?
by Mu-ha-ha-ha-ha

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103252
 25.09.2014
And laughter and sin in the truth about the dying villages:
In the absence of prerequisites for economic development, many small towns and villages are trying to attract tourists. For example, the Great Ustyug shattered the brand of Santa's homeland: now the 58-thousand population is fed on the account of a character that no one believes after the age of seven. Furthermore: Snowmen registered with him Kostroma, Alesh Popovich - Rostov the Great. The authorities of Pereslav-Zalessky signed the Thirteenth Kingdom. In time, the heads of the city of Myshkin, the village of Kukoba and the village of Ermakovo of the Yaroslavl region broke up, registering as their inhabitants Mysku-Norušku, Baba-Yagu and Kuroku Ryabu. And the flow of excursion buses to their rough hole grows every year.

Kolobok replaced Lenin as a tourist brand in the Ulyanovsk region, and in Tver it was decided that the homeland of the Immortal Koshchev must be located in the Stary Caves. In the guide to the Kaliningrad region you can find the title: "Zelenogradsk - the homeland of Buratino". The benefit of mutual cooperation is evidenced by the fact that in 2004 Santa Claus of the Great Ustyug made an official visit to the homeland of his wooden partner.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №103251
 25.09.2014
Ohhhhhh Okay, yesterday morning it was a joke! We have all mr. I cut off the light, the boiler showed a "fake" of hot water, and I am at 8 a.m. to work and I need to wash my head. I thought, better beautiful and wet than dirty. A silly decision, of course, but babblely.
Oh well. You are stupid! Let in the grave, but beautiful and with a clean head, right? ( by
Ohhhhhh What do you know about women’s beauty? I have two neighbors grandmothers, decided to paint my hair, eyebrows and eyelids. But they did it regularly. Well, they said beauty, they say, we will suddenly die, so that it is not shameful to lie in the grave.
Ohhhhhh The next day, Sima’s grandmother died. My grandmother says, you have succeeded!! A man at a funeral asks, “What, she’s 85?” I would not have given more than 60 in life. Such a fresh...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №103250
 25.09.2014
The clean socks ended, the dumb husband cuddled in the untouched, found nothing, a bunch of unwashed socks swelled with me. I try to translate it into a joke:
The owner gave Dobby a socks! Dobby is free!? to
Bobby is running!!! to

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №103249
 25.09.2014
>because in that case my child may decide that this is the norm.

And poorly explain to your child what is right (at least from your point of view), and what is not? And if weak – how are you going to explain to him that killing, stealing and using drugs is not the norm too? And propaganda in these directions will not give in to homopropaganda at all.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №103248
 25.09.2014
This is NID HELLP!

In some ancient KVN was "Pushkin's Sack", about salary.

O Lord, you are powerful.
You are chasing the hole,
Forced on Saturday.
Come to work.
Do you know the answer,
Have you seen anywhere in the world
Is your annual salary?
and.
I saw her, stop!
There are mountains in the north.
In it there is a deep noire.
In that hole on three lines
The tomb comes from gold.
Your wages are in the grave!! to

It is? )

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №103247
 25.09.2014
My cats are super pessimistic. Even when they have the floor of a bowl of food, they think it’s completely empty.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №103246
 25.09.2014
Mat filter gave birth to the phrase: Rotate around the axis of reproduction

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №103245
 25.09.2014
The doctor is Georgian. A good doctor and decent.
So the aunt came to her, like a normal, dressed with no fur fur.
“Doctor, I was raped by two aliens tonight. One flew away and the other was stuck in me. I have to take him out!
The doctor lowered his head so as not to sting. He says, go to the chair. Let us see.
She looked at her and said, “You have no one there.”
My aunt was surprised! I’ll come in a month and check again.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №103244
 25.09.2014
> Also with the propaganda of homosexuality. She is not beating adults, she is beating children and adolescents.

A man will not associate life with a representative of his sex if he is drawn to the opposite. Experiments in youth are one thing, especially from the same sex children do not happen, but the choice of life companion is quite different. Most will prefer a traditional family and their own children when they grow up. But the non-traditional will get the opportunity to understand and accept their nature, and not to live on the principle of all-people, if homosexuality is not considered something shameful and almost criminal at the state level.
Ten years ago they were very popular "Tattoos". The girls who admired them are now not married and have children, but sometimes turn into broken eggs instead of becoming lesbians after such propaganda. At the same time, there are teenagers from conservative, religious families who feel a craving for their gender in spite of education. I will not even talk about adolescent suicides, and so everyone knows.
Licking and footing each other on the street is ugly, gender does not matter. But walking, holding hands, or just hugging is not propaganda, it is a normal, decent expression of feelings.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103243
 25.09.2014
1: How is it? We had a hurricane, at night, the raft from the pavilion in the courtyard crashed to the hell (I thought I’t get into the game today!
Do you catch up with the internet? My friend's whole village from the roof of his house speaks on a cell phone - the only reception point in the district.)))

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №103242
 25.09.2014
The xxx:
Zoran opened a diary on the pages for the past week and gave herself an estimate there. The good ones. The funniest thing is the drawing of the estimates themselves, and the signature - I would not distinguish from the original if I did not notice that the estimates are too many.

and ZZZ:
The belt.

The xxx:
For what?
That is talent!

and ZZZ:
In the water and in the aquapark.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №103241
 25.09.2014
The word democracy, like the word ass is, only democracy, unlike ass is not!

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103240
 25.09.2014
Imagine a situation: you’re driving in your car on a dull, stormy night – and suddenly you see three people waiting at the bus stop. These people:

1st An old woman who looks like she is about to go to a different world.

2nd An old friend who once saved your life.

Three The woman/man of your dreams.

Which one would you take with you if your car is two-seat? Think and give your answer before you read the answer.

Reply
This moral and ethical dilemma, in fact, was offered as a test when recruiting in one company. You can drive an old woman who feels bad, because first you have to save her life. Or maybe you choose an old friend because he once saved your life, and it would be a great chance to thank him? When will you be able to meet your second half?

Of the 200 candidates for the position, only one candidate did not have problems with answering, and he was accepted. His decision was this: “I would give the car keys to my old friend and ask him to take the elderly woman to the hospital. At that time I was with the woman of my dreams.

Sometimes non-standard thinking and creative approach to the matter gives us the key to solving a problem of any complexity.

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