bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №70589
 26.09.2012
Bart's lab will be at 4 p.m. today
Oleg: Will there be or will there be?
Bart will
Oleg: Are you joking?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №70588
 26.09.2012
I think that all people are given a certain stock of luck (say 1kg) that they can spend throughout their lives. Some spend 1 gram every day, they find a little bit on the road, get the last bus, don’t get into the lawn. Others take 300-400 grams and break the cushion in a lottery or jump the career staircase through a few steps. And someone eats the whole kilogram at the very start and dumbly wins in the race of sperm :-/

Lenif4eg ©

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №70587
 26.09.2012
XXX: And my girlfriend suggested that I remove Dota. Life has become easier, more time :)
Broke the girl?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №70586
 26.09.2012
My happiness says:
I sit at work, I work.
And then I remember I have you.
You have breasts.
As it does not work)

[ + 31 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70585
 26.09.2012
One girl managers insults another girl:
Dasha, sune the paper in the printer with your head down, Dasha, what are you doing? You don’t know where the head is???! to

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №70584
 26.09.2012
Thoughts from the Director:

He’s so young, and he’s all gone.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №70583
 26.09.2012
About the iPhone5.
I recently bought a new toilet, with an elongated barrel and seat shape "a rectangle with rounded corners" it’s just divine, I don’t change it for anything. The old models of this firm are also good, but this new one has an even larger tank and even more lengthy, it's straight "tron", indeed even on the old model never was able to empty the whole barrel when washed.
All the others who have simple toilets they just envy me when they say that their toilet is no worse. Competitors really also have a toilet with a large barrel and still washing power like the Niagara Falls, but it’s not as cool as I do! they have a toilet with a shelf, but they have the past century, I have a stylish, fashionable, youthful with a straight sludge all falls right into the water, really when you walk big, the water on the pop splashes,
But nothing I used to paper clothes, then it will not scratch. Yes, and the barrel is large, but not the standard proportions have to stretch a little to the sludge button, and there is no stool like all the others, but it is not needed here, everything is cleaned after use, and the fact that in the winter the pop will freeze is not a problem. And the erchic needs to be special to it only from the manufacturer's firm, it's such a complex device. He’s so dumb, so dumb, and everyone else is jealous of me.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №70582
 26.09.2012
Do you need an Ikeevsky table? The kitchen or the camp?
WOW: No, it seems to me. and what?
hhh: yeah to throw out the frog, and the place even the disassembled occupies
WOW: Well, I have a pretty decent table, I also have no particular place.
oxygen (
Don’t be sad. Buried as a Viking. That is. Go down to the water and shoot with a burning arrow from a distance... And be sure to put a sword in it, without a sword, they will not let Valhalla go.
Who else would I offer it?
Gather and take to the rubbish, who will take?
He is too cool!! Didn't you know that the loyal tables that are thrown into the laundry are revenge?
So I prefer to put a sword in them first, then drop it into the water, and then fire it from a distance with a burning arrow.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №70581
 26.09.2012
Really cold in the apartment is when you realize that I go to the refrigerator can not clean.
HH: It won’t ruin.

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70580
 26.09.2012
The most flawed Russian quest is a clinic. Run around a bunch of places, fight for your place under the sun in a row and get a magical paper wrap!

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70579
 26.09.2012
From the forum:

I bought a cat. According to the documents, pure sphincter, as well. I gave 10 thousand. Within a week, the cat grows. Shoot me please.

The commentary:
What a difference! Hairy, hairy - the main thing is that a person is good!

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70578
 26.09.2012
Commentary on the post on the hubre about a plush toy with an iPhone instead of a brain
xxx: Think of a toy... I have a few acquaintances, with an iPhone instead of a brain... ))

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №70577
 26.09.2012
I asked Betty to be with her 5 year old son today. I was at work, my wife at the universe. In the evening, the son proudly shows a living healing stone, pasturing in a poured bath.
Grandfather, for fun, bought a fish for his grandson. Well, in order not to traumatize the child’s psyche by talking about killing, I proposed to my son "let him live a little", and there we may roast (I think)
The clock passes, the son turns around (I sit, I work) and puts various caliber dining and kitchen knives next to him. The dialogue:
Dad, have you finished your job?
Yes, there is a little left.
Well, when you finish, turn off the computer - and let's go to kill the rock!
and??? The karp? to kill?? to
Well yes! I have already played. You can already eat.
Youth is nothing holy.

[ + 61 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70576
 26.09.2012
A week ago I got married..today I go home after work - my wife boasts upgrades.At the question about the cost of a new clothes so needed" I get a worthy and reasoned answer - "What a difference, this is my salary!". I kept silent, as if you’t argue... The woman thought a little and said, “Dear, forgive me, I shouldn’t have said that... now everything is OUR! Your salary is mine too!!!and "

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70575
 26.09.2012
XXX: Eating at home
YYY: Yes cat dog rabbit choose the advice cat he is the fatest

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70574
 25.09.2012
on the wall: "If your wife has a headache try attaching new Italian boots to the forehead:)))"
From the bottom of the comment-clarification: "Do you need to wear shoes with all your strength or how?"

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №70573
 25.09.2012
I turned on the telephone yesterday. There was advertising, stalling a grant. He checks the documents, then says the luggage compartment open... A man with a loose mouth opens the luggage compartment... and there AK 47 is brightly yellow... I am O_o wtf?? Ment in the frame asks: What is it? That is, replies the man of Grant with the machine. Not a pepper? I was still 5 minutes after this advertisement in the stupor. Are they the ones who invented them?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №70572
 25.09.2012
Yesterday in the store.
Before us, a man for 40 years bought a washing machine.
The worker asks the saleswoman: Do you have legs for my dishwasher?
Q: What kind of pool do you have?
M: Do I have it? Hm... the man!
and :)

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №70571
 25.09.2012
Interview with "MTS":
- On "Kievstar" do you bet?
and constantly.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №70570
 25.09.2012
Yandex is evil.
I had to find a rhythm to congratulate. Entered in the search "rhythms online"... So this bastard immediately gave a side picture with the image of the wall, on which is written "Anton Gondon"
I hate it (

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