bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №70549
 25.09.2012
The cat entered the house. In a few minutes, the woman:
Do not bite! Do not bite!
The Tone Up:
Do not bite!! to
Don’t bite... Kitty!

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №70548
 25.09.2012
I bought potatoes yesterday. Looking at the harvest, we came to the conclusion that we have a new variety of potatoes - Cherry Potatoes!! = (

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №70547
 25.09.2012
X: The cast of Rebut will only resurrect him.
Y: How long have you been talking like Yoda?
X: Who is this?
Star Wars, that was the movie.
X: Well, my childhood was far from Star Wars.
Y: On the tattoo?

[ + 44 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70546
 25.09.2012
After the operation, they said they could not lift more than three kilograms. The scuts! My cat weighs 5 kilos!

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70545
 25.09.2012
Yin: Generally speaking, girls are such dumb creatures, fuck them.
Yin: It is disgusting
The Witch: Aha Aha
Yin is fucking. How do you tolerate us?
Wizard: We’re trashing you for that.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №70544
 25.09.2012
I have been teaching English, but I am currently on leave.
At the kindergarten, a neighbor-mama complains to us, her Koreish, that her husband took an English teacher, a 25-year-old girl (that is, a couple of years younger than her). "Why did he take her? Why can’t you take an old, terrible aunt? Olive oil for example!!" ) )

[ + 43 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70543
 25.09.2012
Question from the Survivor Forum:

Why the topic of close-knit mixing is important for survivors is obvious.
Remember how we were taught in school - close-kind mixing leads badly to degeneration and it cannot be allowed. And generally speaking, the overwhelming majority of people have no other opinion. Well, that the topic of taboo was also fooled so long thought to create or not, but I will still try.
My logic is nothing more.
What happens in a close relationship:
1) the option - a child is born sick in our society it is a big trouble for parents and a serious burden for society but in the post-BP world such a child is most likely to die from natural causes very quickly well and the norms of marali will most likely be somewhat different and probably will not allow him to live well within the framework of morality.
2) the option - the dangerous-harmful genes will be passed on to the offspring but will not act and will remain asleep just as it is now happening to unrelated individuals
3) the option - the harmful gene is derived from the genes of the individual and will actually have a positive effect on the genetic health of the population.

What do you think about this?

The first answer

Go straight to the essence. Who did you fuck?

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №70542
 25.09.2012
Brainsluggg: borrowed money from parents
Brainsluggg: they called it a loan to develop a small biceps

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №70541
 25.09.2012
Discussion of two developers
In this weather, you should sit at the fireplace with whiskey and cigar :D
yyy: no shit with this option and I’t want to work, but I don’t have a fireplace, no cigars, no whisky.
I have a fireplace and a whiskey and a cigar, but I sit here.
YYY: Is that what you now call your balcony, a bottle of beer and a cigarette?
What kind of work is aristocracy.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №70540
 25.09.2012
1: in the office in the toilet constantly on the bottom lie one or two scraps
They disappear, then lie back.
1: there was a version that someone was rubbing the twists from the printer
1: so you think - today there is a self-cut!
2: the rigid gips carton installers entered?

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №70539
 25.09.2012
To cook cabbage from the Topor is easy, to loosen it is difficult.

[ + 41 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70538
 25.09.2012
About the alarm. The alarm is more accurate.
As a child, I was fascinated by radio hobbyism, well, in the sense of listening to the radio and spinning radio details in the name of progress. I got caught up by chance, but it turned out – for the rest of the time...Where I taught Morse’s alphabet, there was a collective radio station and the elderly guys were talking to different countries. It was 1976! Then there were no televisions in the country, and some had them at home...After radio communication with a new country, a bulldozer with a flag was stuck into the world map and everyone was jealous of the one who made such a feat. In short, the line to work at the radio station was around the clock and I, as the youngest, once or twice a week got two hours, but at the very "this" time - 3 or 5 nights-morning. No alarm clock could beat the school sleep, and in the morning he almost cried that he had spent his time on the radio station. I honestly don’t remember who gave me the advice. The advice is this: before going to bed, already in bed, 3-5 times mentally (at the same time it is desirable to look at the clock sheet) say - "I wake up at... hours", then knock your left foot on the wall and... all - sleep. It worked from the first time, as if someone had pushed at three o’clock in the night. And it has been working for more than thirty years. The mechanism of this phenomenon is unknown, and not very much wanted...

[ + 108 - ] Comment quote №70537
 25.09.2012
Somebody calls and asks:
This is who?
I’ve come up with a brilliant answer that just makes the caller stupid:
Where is?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №70536
 25.09.2012
Neighbor: Listen, and there was no announcement on the door to turn off the water?
The neighbor hasn’t been there for two hours.
I: Maybe it was. I went out at 7 in the morning.
I woke up at 8.
I: That’s why I could not notice.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №70535
 25.09.2012
From the Lanos Club Forum

Question: How to use the light?

Answer: Once it is dark, turn it on.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №70534
 25.09.2012
I am Ebu.
Two hours of night. I am already in bed. I hear,
A terrible sound, like
The pyramid heads its enormous
The sword. When I pray, I look out the window.
A drunk man wraps an old Soviet
The refrigerator.
I adore this country.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №70533
 25.09.2012
Credo: I was in a shock at all, I thought tea would not be something to drink...and there is no tea.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №70532
 25.09.2012
From comments to the article about the "elections" in the Belarusian "parliament":

I, 23:08, 23.09
And I bought salad in the buffet at the polling station, 2 kg at the price of 29,000 tonnes per kg. It costs 55,000 in the market. Of course I did not vote.

Alesi Z., 23:24, 23.09
Is it normal or also falsified?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №70531
 25.09.2012
Yesterday I drank with a friend: today to work, from the hellish hammer, I found literally nothing in the kitchen, except some probiotic Olin (at the time the cat was taken). At the end of the day, the hand removed. This is the power of veterinary medicines :-)

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №70530
 25.09.2012
xxx> here I encountered a qualitative example of nonconformism at work
xxx> worked with us in the summer, the 15-year-old son of the boss, Kolyan. Without much enthusiasm, I was probably forced to work. Then at the beginning of the school year I left, I go off the next day to remove his computer, and I see, the keyboard under the gap is written "Go all of us";.
xxx> I think this is an infection, I should have to remove it. A week later he came here for something, apparently his mother called for help. We go together in the elevator, and I ask, “Did you write on the key?” and “Yes,” he replies. This is what I wrote".
And I even wanted to slander him, because by the hardness of my gaze I realized that before me was a young but harsh post-cyberpunk rebel who had embarked on the bold path of fighting the hated Corporation. Such people have respect.

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