19:28 Where are you?
19:31 – At work
19:32 – What is it?
19:40 – The salary has been raised.

There are three periods in my life: not before the babies, only the babies in the mind, one babies in the mind.

In the morning between the couples. After doing a huge homework at night.
How good to go to sleep...
YYY: Going to bed early?
XXX: Go to bed!

X: Well now it works?
YYY: It is no longer.
XXX Why?! to
Yyy: It worked, I fixed it, it doesn’t work now.

I go to school, in the crowd. I hear the dialogue of two students.

If I go to serve, I will only go to missile troops.
WOW why?? to
Oh yeah, look, there is everything computerized, which means that at least Starcraft or heroes will go.

I don’t drink, I don’t use drugs, I prefer tobacco from smoking. Classical education, respect for the elderly, not raising my hand on women, analytical mindset. Red Diploma, the army behind the shoulders. 24 years, 176 cm, 100 kg, brunette with blue eyes, I do not pursue fashion - I dress so that it is convenient for me, and not as gay fashioners want. In online games I do not play and I do not intend to make money, I know how to make money and spend it with a lot - not a tranche and not a mess. Do you think I’m looking for someone?=) I boast... And you continue to make sponges a bump, consider yourself a queen, treat acne in photoshop and put status "VIP". Just don’t forget that now in Russia there are 25 million more women than men, and for one born boy there are 3 girls. In your background, decent, modest and loyal girls are better visible!=) Really, thank you for that!=))

From a Dating Site
A mature woman, hot and temperamental, invites to acquaintance... With mutual sympathy, it is sucked out so that the puppy is swallowed.

We went on vacation home... took a friend under Voronezh, the navigator led me to Odessa through such chips of the Kharkiv province, that instead of beaches and clubs - automotive "Yama", collapse-climbing, repair of the suspension... but this, it turned out, not all... after the miracle route of Izum-Lozova in addition to square wheels was still formed and the Azzsky guddok - with a chripotts such dramatic as the head of the babouins... I today a traffic jamming on the MCAD broke in front of the braking UAZIK - so two furs on the right automatically shattered... and regretted "Lancer" to die.

Dtim
Then a dead Japanese woman will come out to you from the TV, raise her hands high and say, “No!

The Doctor 911
Then I will give you the hares.

Dtim
Why to me?

The Doctor 911
Because you knew it would happen.

Touch the chest. Do you see how the stitches are hardened? It is from the cold.
Petrovich, you are busy, let’s work!

"So, the impression is created that in order to make a career in the office, in the first place you need to have eb@nuty FIOs..."

I understand you guy... Blablin, Herov, Krutik, Scorina, Kilograms, Simson (note, not Simpson) and just the curtain: the general detector of the holiday base of the village of Tetkovo. As we called this client among our customers, "Sharovoz from Tetkovo"

Strong electrical girls
Anya
I was going to put the salad in the refrigerator now)) And there the door fell off)))) We made it))
00:36:28

Peter
Has it all been successfully completed?)
00:37:28

Anya
Yes)) the door holds on a nail pile)))

We ate lunch in a student’s dining room with a group member!!! We are sitting like these, using the manifests of the table. And at the neighboring table, two fellow women are cuddling, we must say so cute, and there is a dialogue clinging to the ear. Yesterday I went into two holes!!! It hurts so much!!!" When we got upset, it turned out that she was at the dentist!:-) :-) Vuddy

My sister looks at me thoughtfully.
Do you want me to show you something?
Well?
Here she gets out of the pocket of the pants headphones and they are not confused, not a single node, well out of the box get in worse condition. He looks at me so loudly:
No one will believe you anyway.
And he leaves. God what it was. And most importantly, how?

I work in the factory, scratching the whole toilet written, and here in the position of the eagle in front of my eyes the inscription: "At landing, combine the center." And below: "Compatible, the whole ass in splashes."

Attention to readers!
Given that the comments often contain complaints about the excessive talk of the characters, the blatant description of the weapons, too much information on the history of the war, the unnecessary descriptions of the landscapes and other nonsense, I experimentally create a text completely free of all these shortcomings:

About Zombies

I shot a zombie. Zombie has fallen. I shot another zombie. He also fell. I also shot 18 times from my weapon. There were 18 zombies. I shot four times. Four zombies have fallen. Then I shot 12 more times. 12 zombies fell, but 76 zombies came to the left, and 95 to the right. Then I shot 76 times to the left and 95 times to the right. All the zombies fell, but one of them got up and I shot again. Then he fell again.

She: I was asked by a student today about bad habits :-D It was so strenuous!
I: Type, do you have it?
I: I... what did you answer?
She said no, where to go.
It is not good for children to lie.
She: Well what had to be done?
I: You can answer something in the spirit: “I listen to METAL and pray to the Gods of the Great Night!”
She: by the way, after that, a drunken uncle approached us and asked where the rock bar is "Podval" :-D
I: You "did not know"...
She: No, I explained :-D The boy said nothing)

Father: I stole grain when I was 13 years old...and you! Playing in Dota

And I, you can imagine, have been rejected twice in the meeting under the pretext that I am too competent for the guy to write, which means - I try to show myself better than I really am.

O.O

An online translator gave me a translation of one recipe:
1 sandstone
150 grams of white branches
200 grams of Swiss cheese
200 grams of smoked slices of salt.
I could not read further.)