bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №10150
 21.09.2008
Prefecture in Economics:
When you write the spores, you will at least understand what the letter means, and then you will look in the sphere like a lamb in the calendar!

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №10149
 21.09.2008
<Daymarus> The lecturer today came cold: coughing, sneezing, coughing something
<Daymarus> I’m sitting there, and I can’t disassemble. Anton wrote something. I looked at it in the record, I want to rewrite it.
<Daymarus> And he has there in large letters "Arrgh, apchhi, khe, khe, oh, khe, khe-khe-khe, blas"

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №10148
 21.09.2008
It is right to circumvent it on the left.



Told by KYŠ</PRE>

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №10147
 21.09.2008
It was in Rostov.

History of a Dog



There is always a lack of money and love. Nature has caught the dog. her

The body produces love. The hair absorbs your trouble.

Agree, no woman will meet you like a dog! Exported

Three minutes of garbage. The dog welcomes you like you are after an amnesty.



Seeds of altar.



Twenty years ago, on Levberdon, right behind the Voroshilov Bridge,

In the cozy pension of the sanatorium type "The Quiet Don" served as a guard and

Compatibility with the courtyard, always subdued old uncle

by Grisha. He lived there, on the territory of the palace in a small unspoiled house.

Camorra, along with its inseparable barbos.

One evening, drinking in a circle of employees, asking about the breed of the dog

Uncle Grish inspired that he bought a dog from a circus.

Acrobat for the red (while the comrades, knowing his scorn,

with a smile looked around), and that the circus man struck the puppy from the famous

Trainer of rare dogs. "Races of cocktail terrier! andquot; –

Driving a sanitary. Uncle Grish, not paying attention to the offensive

The replica, continued to float that the puppy's father was a dog champion

The Olympic Games. "On the production of bullet mosquitoes", – again did not hold up

The channel compiler.

It was visible to the naked eye that the beetle happened, like most of them.

The result is uncontrolled selection of dogs.

There are many different types of trees, and they inherit such wonderful properties as:

wisdom, loyalty and malice. In terms of intelligence, they are not

Differentiated very well.

Barbos was small, with a disgusting character and chestnut lace.

wool, in which found shelter of small bloodthirsty impurity,

Why was he constantly itching, as, however, his master, since they slept?

They are together on a tight hospital couch.

Uncle Grisha baptized his pets by the Pyjonian nickname Rex. In the protected

The dog was very self-confident and self-confident. The owner he

He worshiped, laughed overwhelmingly at the encounter and, jumping, joyfully licked Grisha in the

His nose, while condemning his dog’s tenderness. The director was afraid,

The staff was treated with politeness, resting.

Ignored and despised. If he was crawling, he heard the tone, rather.

for order, as for temporary residents, but sensitively distinguished them from

Those with whom he was brave.

The guard, using Rex's innate hunting instinct, brought him to the

Their fishing was very profitable, and they went around early in the morning.

entrusted to them territory of the penitentiary and coastal grotto in the city

The beach. The dog ran ahead, carefully smelling the tall grass and

the bushes, and his master with the poisonous "Priboim" in his teeth, sowed traces of

with a large cat. Periodically, Rex found the prey and, joyfully

With a loud tail, he cried loudly. Within an hour, entrepreneurs

The hunters returned with a bag full of empty bottles.

It was converted into cheap local production.

Rex was a desperate hangover and left his guard post only twice in his life.

A year of dog weddings. Returning to the c

with the blades of the wool and, judging by the onish and fresh wounds,

He had something to remember. After such an event with

dramatic consequences when in the eyes of a collective lover

He was brutally crushed by a huge and ugly cabbage, a great bastard and

Loving to hurt someone. Rex long licked his wounds and forever.

He pledged to participate in group sex orgies. He brought himself

A young chollen fucks, seamlessly tied by a chain to a luxurious booth.

She lived on the opposite side of the pension in a small house.

In the village, and a loving cow with risk for life twice a year crossed.

The roadside of Rostov-Bataisk.

He was neither the first nor the last to risk his life in order to meet his beloved. by V

critical days at the green fence of the charming king gathered the best

members of the district, representatives of all dog blood groups, starting from

Intelligent Royal Puddle, Mother of the Caucasian Shepherd

nationality and ending with a shelled seam of unclear origin.

They stumbled down in the herd and waited hopelessly for the encounter with the

Wishes and desires, looking at them, looking at them.

The sexual dissatisfaction.

Rex was not in a hurry, walking along the fence, behind which he

The chain of the bride. In the eyes of surprising competitors

In a business-like way, he pushed his foot away by one of his badly known

fixed board in the fence and gracefully swept into a narrow gap, waving

The competitors said goodbye to the furry tail, after which the board took its

The initial position. A few unsuccessful brides.

I tried to repeat this trick, but without success.

Gabbars are not.

And the wise Rex, filled with love comforts, in the same way.

He left his beloved prison. Judging by a wretched smile, date.

was to glory. He turned away with a disgraceful gaze from those who were deceived.

The cobblestone touched his back leg and generously folded the fence. and after,

sweetly swallowed, waving a thin back, with dignity departed like a thunderstorm

clouds across the horizon, once again crossing the insidious route.

To the astonishment of the owners of the sock, naively believing that the chain is reliable.

contraceptive, she had a party in due time

The castan dogs.

All this was told to me by the staff when I arrived there.

The dentist.

My office was located in the water clinic room next to the courtyard,

Where Uncle Grish lived with his dog. One day I tried to make a

Rex had a trusting relationship and even offered him an appetizing piece.

sausages, but he scattered scratchfully and did not even deserve me to swallow.

I could not tolerate family.

But one evening, when I had finished the reception and headed out,

The road was blocked by Rex, he was sitting next to my office and was desperate.

Shake your mouth. Usually he did not enter the apartment. sanitary

I tried to drive him out, but he did not leave and continued to stumble hard.

Fisting in the mouth. I bowed and saw that a sharp spark came from his palm.

A piece of bone. With fear I stretched out my hand, the dog has no aggression.

demonstrated it. Then I suddenly pulled out a bone from the dog’s right hand.

The fragment. Rex left the room immediately.

The next day, a sensation awaited me at work. The entire pension

Discussed a fantastic event: after my simple manipulation

A nurse found a bottle of vermut near the door of the dental cabinet. know

his skills in bottle fishing, no one doubted that Rex Sper

Vermouth has his master, especially since he preferred this one.

A cheap mark of wine, and thanked the doctor for the service of the ordinary

in a human way.

This legend has long walked in the walls of our institution and grown.

with new details. Until the bottle was dissolved.

Rex on the brush. The truth was revealed to me by Uncle Grish after the dog

Still, he fell the victim of his unrestricted passion - fell under the car.

On a similar occasion, Guberman wrote about his dog a high epitaph:



Goodbye Thomas, you have fallen beautifully.

and eternal darkness,

Happy and Dangerous

Pulling the back of a stranger.

And accepted death, obedient to fate,

And the lady, the sweetness of cabbages,

She walked away indifferently.

The cause of your death.



Having buried the faithful Rex, remembering him as appropriate, an orphaned courtier

He told me the true story of that mysterious incident. He went from

a store with an unlucky vermut, and meet the director of the pension.

Uncle Grish stumbled into the procedure room and hid the bottle behind the trash cart

near the dentist’s office. The director sent him to clean the falling ones.

the leaves, and at this time the water therapist closed. The morning sanitary.

Having found a half-liter, she sprinkled her own house.

version of the grateful four-legged: say, not that some people...



by a) Leonid

Discussion: http://gb.anekdot.ru/gb/362299.html</PRE>

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №10146
 21.09.2008
An old professor is crawling in the street. 7 suddenly stopped.

The BMW, from where the rattled man comes out and cries: Professor, dear, you are

Do you remember me? I was your assistant at the department until I left.

The Prof. I am currently head of a scientific committee in the Duma. Go to the office,

Drink the cup.



The professor goes on. Maybach is stopped. The road leaves

The aunt cries, “Professor, dear, do you remember me?” I was yours.

She was a graduate student at the department until she married our mayor. Now here

Collections in Europe. Here is a visit card, come to my house.

The Azure coast, we go to the casino, we drink vince.



The pleased professor blows down the street further. Rolls-Royce is stopped.

The man comes out and shouts, “Professor, dear, you’re me.

Remember, I was an assistant professor at your department until I started trading oil.

Come to me at Rubleva, we will eat a snack, we will cook a cognac.



Finally, the professor grabs to his house and, passing by the wash,

He hears from a kind of shameless type, crawling in the boxes: Professor,

How about health, how about work?



Professor – How is it? Did you work in my department too?

Bohm offended - Why it worked, I am teaching there now!



Told by Lust</PRE>

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №10145
 21.09.2008
Recently I saw the inscription on the multi-coloured gates: “CARE, DECORED IN BLUE.” Milla thought for a long time... very long.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №10144
 20.09.2008
Fr1Dom (12:05:39 16/09/2008)
I have thought

GOR (12:05:52 16/09/2008)
How did you do it? O_O

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №10143
 20.09.2008
Flip : Who? by :
by Fuck! My mother found a bug in me - today I woke up for 20 minutes in all sorts of ways, but I found a single but true bug!
She said, “You’ve gotten a bumper!!!” Oh how I jumped up to the window...

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №10142
 20.09.2008
by Fuck! Today is a strange day...
At first, the cleaner came to quarrel, like go see what’s going on in the bathroom. I come and look and I just say:
There is a piece of paper on which is written "Dear employees! Please do not throw toilet paper and personal hygiene products into the toilet (the mark is assigned at the bottom and the painting), and the toilet itself is filled with toilet paper and at the top is still early.
Then we went to our dining room. So sadly I eat and suddenly the trucks, 6 people, fly, and everything is friendly like this: "ORX ORX ORX ORX" and past the table they run, take the plates with the cracker and on the other side past my table "Eat Eat Eat Eat Eat";;
Something wrong is happening in our world.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №10141
 20.09.2008
Interview with Kolya Valuev:
I like to joke with my friends sometimes. In fact, I am a fun person. Many people think it’s crazy."

dub: I always thought Kolya Valuev was a fun man!!!))
Dub: I’m even afraid to imagine how he likes to joke with his friends.
Art: Cole jokes only once.
I’m looking for new friends.)

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №10140
 20.09.2008
The xxx:
Imagine that Casper has wiped out :)

Yesterday he stumbled on a file driver.
There is a virus. The Trojan Taram.
Well, I have a file especially unnecessary, I say indifferently - say prison saji

Casper is out.
confused so
I'm talking on the leisure a little jail checked - well healthy file, maybe let go?))

YYYY :
with whom it does not happen.)

The xxx:
Rooffle: He barely drowned

The xxx:
Could he have noticed and recovered? and :)
Treatment of claustrophobia.

YYYY :
Tagged with: rofl

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №10139
 20.09.2008
girlfriend and boyfriend (4 years)
She: Sasha, I want sex
He: What does it have to do with me?

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №10138
 20.09.2008
From the ASCII.
Shust: This is another topic...)
Shust: These are the nice guys... guys you want me to show you a special, Slavic hostility?))
Reidel: YY=))) In my mouth the lips! That’s Daniel Blaine!
Emm, where are you going from?
Reidel: From the new fair) you don’t know her, she’s not trending yet))
Shust: What did you buy there?
A new shirt! with red pattern)
Shust: Are you sure there’s not a cluttered mouse?? = )
“Emma, you guys, it’s a good mouse!” Return the shirt, the devil!! to
What are you drinking like that?
Reidel: Is it this? and beef juice)
Shust: Or maybe something else?
Reidel: What else is it? Blind what? Fake my goats!! Blondes and Blondes!! to
Shust: Y=)) Where is your car?
Reidel: My lips are in my mouth! You missed my car! What is this fucking? Our horse is now a doll! Faq my goats, unclean!! to
Shust: =))) And now the last wrist and I will retreat.
Reidel: No No No No No! No to Daniel Blaine.
Shust: I’ll give you a hundred breezes for that.
Reidel: A hundred crowns? Well... only the last one.
Shust: Let’s go to your cell.. put your trubadur box on!))
Reidel:)) That makes me sick...
Shust: “I owe your boy a hundred breeze crowns!
Reidel: O_o Emma people are good!! There is a devil there!! Get rid of it!! to
by Shust:...........
by Shust:...........
Reidel: He got rid of... Berry Juice...
Shust: O_o In my mouth...

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №10137
 20.09.2008
of generations...

There is a generation that doesn’t know what it’s like to hear a song you like on the radio, press on the magnetophone "rec", and then understand that you’ve lost your favorite cassette... :(

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №10136
 20.09.2008
Dear Tarakanov Maxim Andreevich, I know that you are sitting on the tower now, and that means you have free time. Call me fuck! Your favorite wife.and :-)

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №10135
 20.09.2008
vituwa
"..... treatment of alcoholism, tobacco smoking, obesity in 1 session..."
How can it be

Avdeeff
The mouth shut.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №10134
 20.09.2008
In the morning I was given a catalogue of the company Kemper, it produces extraction equipment. And, judging by the text, the catalogue was translated into Russian by the Germans themselves.
All the way I was killed by the adjective "flexible". I couldn’t understand the first 20 pages. I had to guess what it comes from the German "flexibel", which in the normal translation into the domestic sounds only as "flexible". It is interesting what the Germans would have said if I had translated into their language words I do not know the translation of, receiving something like "gibken" or "suschtschestwowanijen".
The most taste. Yes, in German there is a verb "absaugen". Only in Germany it has no negative connotations, unlike Russian. Despite the fact that "saugen" - "sugging", and the console "ab" - "from". But it was not necessary to translate this word in parts and literally... And they got this:
The suction machine is perfectly able to suck from the welders directly on the desk with optimal suction force. The suction force can be adjusted from the minimum to the maximum suction level, which is very pleasing to the welders"... "The suction table will make the work of the welder much more enjoyable"... And finally "Kemper is a recognized leader in the suction industry". This is about 200 pages of text.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №10133
 20.09.2008
I was in the store today, picking my sister’s toy on the day. She is still small, loves soft mice. I go and watch the bears. Here I see the slogan 2 for the price of one, and on the shelf there are two mice in a hug. Like any Russian person, I buy and run to the box with toys.
On my birthday, my sister approaches me and absolutely quietly asks:"Who are these pedics??" I am naturally in a shock, and she stretches my mouse, and it is written on them " Pediki-bears"

The conclusion is not: do not behave on the hole, crack on pedics...bears.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №10132
 20.09.2008
I never thought that smoked pork would be translated as "cotted pork", not smoked pork(((

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №10131
 20.09.2008
Would you advise me to play?
XXXL: Fallout 2
Tagged with: mmm!! Fallout 2 theme, stop!
Crac: Definitely a Fal2 cacao.
Hm, I will read.
[ from 5 minutes ]
It has 256 colors. What a shit?
Go to hell, you little fool!
XXXL: be you cursed!! to
Feodor: dirty bowlen, nihuya hasn’t played a podium except racing?
Feodor went to download Fallout2 to then behave as well

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna