I found this. I saw with my own eyes. How to live in America?! to
The vodka light. and 23 degrees. It freezes in the refrigerator.

I hate Microsoft :)

He makes money for the bread.

XX: That doesn’t mean he’s doing the right thing. As the sale of heroin also allows you to make money on bread, but there are nuances

YYY: It is yes

xxx: It's like I worked as a rescue worker on the beach, and there were only floats on sale, which when soaked start to pull to the bottom.

XXX: I have a job for myself. On the other hand, it’s a fucking wrong thing :)

Discussion to release "War and Peace" from the Air Force on the router

XXX: The quality is terrible! The image doubles. For those who don’t want to go without eyes, try another version.
YYY: I also had a double image in the first series. However, the second I already looked absolutely sober, and the image became normal automatically. Maybe that’s the matter?
ZZZ: Commentary masterpiece :)

A friend of mine once told me an interesting story:

When I was in college, a girl lived with me in the room. She wanted to marry a rich man. For this I went to courses of English, which was given by a teacher living in Kutuzovsky. Every day, I woke up at 5 a.m., painted, dressed and traveled all over Moscow. From the subway she walked to see these wealthy papies standing in the traffic jams at this time. Every day, in any weather. So one day a man noticed her and offered to take her. Thus they turned everything. This is what it means to go to your goal!

Did she learn English? I say.

What kind of English? Do you listen to me at all? Married to!

Oh well okay. The good guys. Did the dragon know?
The eye serpent?
“Well, any cobra can be called a glass, because they are usually touched, and they do it right.

Some, and as I understand, including you, consider your pocket the greatest wealth of modern times. And from this point of view, they just don’t think about how two people, regardless of gender, can spend a few hours in fun just so, without giving each other half a kingdom for that.

Then my girlfriend suddenly gets pregnant. You know, it happens. None of them provide 100% protection. A girlfriend goes to the doctor for an abortion (suppose she’s not a ‘prolif’); so, she’s going, and the doctor scares her: after this abortion, girl, you risk never to give birth. It happens too, unfortunately. Some abortions are contraindicated. Suppose the girl is not "Childfrey". And then what? A former friend makes a sheep’s wheat in the sense of “I have nothing to do,” and after a lawsuit on the definition of paternity, he whispers, watering the “commercial fucks” with dirt, a former girlfriend? Was it worth a few hours of pleasure to pay for such consequences? Never sleep with a person unless you allow the opportunity to have a common child with him.

Dad asked to go to the pharmacy, buy him Viagra and candles from hemorrhoids (yes, in old age, I also want sex). My husband and I needed condoms, a lubricant, and I also needed a remedy for drought after taking an antibiotic.
And here I stand, loudly and joyfully listing the pharmacist everything I need. And you know what?
Everybody is messy.

Horoscopes are outdated due to changes in the position of stars, the US aerospace agency NASA says.

Over the fate of millions of women hanged a terrible threat.

I like to save money. But everything does not work.

Love for nature...

In one small (according to Chinese standards) industrial city there was a large (according to any standards) factory. What that factory produced is not important for the purposes of our history. And it is important that in the office of this factory from the Soviet times worked one lady. That is, in those distant Soviet times she was still a girl, a young specialist. Then she became an adult woman. My aunt of retirement age. And then retirement. This is where the crisis hit.

The plant was ordered to prepare lists of citizens for slaughter (i.e. for reduction). Of course, the chief, not hesitating long, included in these lists and our heroine (M.). But M. had other plans regarding his work activity. The small pension was not the limit of her dreams and was clearly losing her salary. The idea of living on funds comparable to the cost of monthly maintenance of the elite breed cat M. was not deceived. In connection with this, the quiet lady stood up and refused to go to honorary retirement voluntarily. Well, not the first and not the last, the bureaucratic machine worked and in the law-established time, with the observance of all necessary formalities, the aunt was reduced.

She gathered her personal belongings and took them into the car that stood on the street. I said goodbye to my fellow friends and went out. What is optimistic, you ask. Actually, nothing funny has happened in our story so far.

It should be mentioned that M. did not make a career at the factory, no matter how she tried, but in the process of trying to do such a career did not get her husband or children. Her only passion was gardening. At the six hundred she received in unforgettable times, she grew the most amazing apples and pears, butterflies and strawberries participated and won the exhibitions, a strawberry with berries the size of a child's fist struck everyone even by the fact that it yielded fruit almost to the snow. Knowing about this her passion, all her acquaintances brought her as a gift from business trips not a Moscow sausage and Chinese blankets, but various cranky herbs, which in the hands of M. raised their heads and flourished into unseen in our latitudes exotic plants.

But the real pearl of the collection was an amazing palm. At a time when the dominant agricultural culture of our country became corn, the son of one of his colleagues, M., the pilot of Aeroflot, who flew to Cuba, came to his parents in a distant cold Ural city and brought as a gift to M., knowing her passion, a lumpy green mill that grew in a bowl of mayonnaise. Changes in climate and time zones did not affect the shrub in the best way and it was visually clear that the shrub was not a resident. Sinking the leaves, he lay on overseas soil and with all his appearance hinted on the nearby panihid.

M. said “Hm...” and, without thanking the donors, rushed quickly to his workplace. There a special tube was made and installed vertically from vatman, a stem was placed in the center of the pipe, and another five mayonnaise pots filled with water were placed around the stem. The entire structure was on the southern window. To the astonishment of colleagues, the strange bull did not bend, but raised the stems and raised the spirit. A few months later, the already strengthened germ was transplanted into a bowl from under the sediment and covered on top instead of a paper tube with an empty aquarium.

The herb turned out to be some kind of exotic palm, which was not often found in Cuba itself, but to grow it in the Urals, even in an enclosed space, seemed an absolute feat. During the years of work of M. at the factory, the roof turned into a two-meter-high drill with a rotting trunk, thick at the base and equipped with a lush green crown on top. M. sent a photo of the palm to the department of the Academy of Sciences in Sverdlovsk, they confirmed it, palm, a rare breed, congratulated M. on the success and asked to keep them informed of the life of the plant.

M. duly measured the height and thickness of the trunk, described the diseases and temperature of the surrounding air, entered the table data on the graph and volume of irrigation, the duration of daily light exposure, photographed the palm and sent reports to biologists.

Nothing is eternal under the moon. And here, M. expelled from her native factory, bending under the weight of the carrier, went through a passing box with a two-meter palm. Those who worked in enterprises with a strict transmission system have probably already guessed the events that followed. The guard of M. stands on the passageway and requires a material passage to the palm. M. declares that the palm is her personal, so a pass is not needed. Notes about the importation of palm to the territory of the enterprise it has no, since it was introduced in the sixty-something year and the appearance then had a completely different.

Of course, everyone who worked with M. knows the story of the palm, the words of its history are confirmed by the security, but the protection is principle, and the power is to show. In a word, the palm of M. is picked, it is caught in it maniacally and does not give. It is a scandal. M. requests that an act of withdrawal be made. They called the WOHR (Wohr - military guard), the palm was forcibly taken, the act was made. In addition, from the great mind, in the act they wrote that M. palm refused to give, prevented the action of such a Vochrovec, had to use special means (touched it twice in the hands with a rubber oak). After that, they washed out of the territory of the covenant and answered a farewell penny.

M. goes to the trauma point, removes beating, goes to the police and writes a statement about the robbery. The police will be stubborn for a long time and will not accept the statement. As a result, M. sends a statement to the militia by mail, writes a complaint on the refusal to fix the statement of a serious crime to the superior chief of the militiamen, and submits to the court a statement on recovery from the factory of material damage caused to her by the withdrawal of palm. To the lawsuit applies an expert opinion that the price of an adult plant of such size is 150 thousand rubles, as well as all his correspondence with the Academy of Sciences and photography, the first still black and white, demonstrating the entire process of growing palm on the workplace. The factory shakes and shakes, in the court shouts that the factory office is not a dendrarium to grow palm trees there. But the fact is, and the factory loses.

And the decision of the court, which came into force, M. sends a complaint to the police chiefs. The decision of the court is no longer a scandal in the store, it needs to react. The police chiefs explain to the subordinates that the non-acceptance of statements from citizens with palms is interrupted by rectal stimulation, the facts need to work, otherwise the future police officers themselves have a chance to engage in gardening before retirement. The police officers, who are completely out of the way of such a stumbling, find M themselves, take a statement from her and even manage to initiate a case.

At this point, it becomes acidic to WOHRs, who begin to be dragged for interrogation during working hours, and in free time from work, they begin to run for M. themselves and persuade her to take the application.

M. such a nervous regime at retirement clearly threatens and she leaves for compensation received from the factory to rest in Kislovodsk. The gambling militia begins to document a crime committed by a group of persons on a preliminary conspiracy. The warriors desperately blame each other and friendly to the chief of the guard. In this perspective, acid becomes a factory and a specially trained cavalier with extraordinary powers goes to Kislovodsk.

What they talked about there with M., history is silent. But M. took her statement, suddenly she had money for an apartment in Kilovodsk, and the apartment in her hometown, where the factory is located, M. gives up, receiving a noticeable increase in retirement. To live M. became in a new apartment, acid house, and the tenant of the old apartment became the nephew of the palm donor with his wife and child. The case did not go to court, no one was arrested.
In the factory, the name M. is still forbidden to pronounce, like Voldemort in Hogwarts.

What about the palm, ask you. Unfortunately, the palm was lost, where it was divided after the withdrawal so no one could say and could not. It is said that she suffered greatly in the battle for the right to own it, so that the unfortunate flower fell the only and innocent victim of this story. Although,, it still grows somewhere away from the superior eyes. No one has seen him destroyed. A two-meter palm is not a needle. They picked up, they went out. We have people who are miserable and homeless, gardens for each other. Surely, past such a miracle, quietly standing on the territory of the factory, could not pass indifferently. To hide a two-meter palm on a huge factory territory, where entire railway structures disappeared without a trace, is not very difficult. At least I like this version more.

I specially keep in the apartment a full archive "House-2" on discs. If I have a search in any case, there is a chance that I will be recognized as unjustified in court.

Was your pattern broken by floating rabbits? And mine is a little bitch. Do you remember pictures from children’s books? These cuddly sweetheads with mushrooms, apples and berries on the back... And here in the social network there is a video of a cuddle lying in someone’s palm. And this kind of sympathetic serves a goose (or a worm? I didn’t see it.) And then the sweet-eyed snatches a huge toothpaste and fats it in two bites! O_O

Andie: Listen, master, harre to stand out already. What course are you? Maybe you have a baccalaureate in a hat? Per you have a crazy expert, with a blue rose and a red diploma? Close the fountain!

In fact, I am a docent.

Andie: Bl@j! by Bl@@e!

Master: Yes, you understood everything correctly. In your hometown, Andrew...

Andie: Sorry, Vyacheslav Igorovich, I wanted to write that you look very young, but you are sealed.

From the Hubble, Holivud on whether astrology is a science

Astrology is nonsense, I tell you like a typical scorpion.

News: in Odessa, Arkadia district, after the rain, the granite plate sailed into the sea

A woman at work said:

"Andrei, you as a programmer can tell where the hole in the table can be drilled?"

This is genius, comrades! Let us leave all the beautifully sounding names to the striptease, and the women who claim respect let them be called Mankas, Feklas or Parashkas in general. Let the situation pass through from childhood!

The History of World Culture Report on the Inquisition
I think to start with "and if we lived at that time, I would not read this report to you, and I would burn on fire".

Today I learned that I am a vicious non-payer - the stewards removed money from the card. The bill was 10 years old and paid.
I went to understand.
Hi, this is a mistake.
No mistake, the court was six months ago, here is the paper.
I want to appeal.
No, the time of appeal has passed.
And the time of the trial – 10 years as well!
This is how the judge decides.

This is how comrades Holops.
The law works, it doesn’t work – well, well.
It only remains to be a judge.

A girl came to me, we rolled on the couch, watched a movie, kissed. At some point I’ve forgotten about the movie, I start cutting off her jeans, and then she says:

Don’t dress me, I’m half an avatar.
O O O O?
and blue.
- O_O
The jeans are new!

She jumped and ran into the bathroom.