Near the house opened a new sports complex - swimming pool, sauna, fitness, massage cabinet. First trial visit is free!



I think it would be very pleasant to go here, I think it would be comfortable. I leave the application.



Good morning, you are worried about the fitness club “Bla Bla Bla”. You have submitted a request for a free visit.

Yes, it is all right.

Have you been to our club?

You opened up for the third day.

Call your fi.

(I call it)

You are not in the base.

Let us think together. Maybe it’s because I’m not a visitor to your club.

Do you want to come to us?

- I really want to, so you have your application on the mail, and you call me on this application.

Well, now we will fill out a small questionnaire and I will be waiting for you for a guest visit.

(He asks me a few questions and I answer him.)

It is great, thanks! When would you be comfortable visiting us?

Give me that number.

I recorded, I’ll wait for you!

A free visit? Can money not be taken with you?

Yes, it is completely free!

Okay, until we meet.



I go to the club, I go to the reception.

I am on a trial visit.

What is the name of your manager?

In my heart, I don’t remember.

and accurate.

Is a printed invitation not enough?

No, remember the name.

(I go to the mail, look for the signature, look for the name).

If you are sick, another manager will take you.



I go to the manager, I sign a contract for a free trial visit.

Now go to the doctor for a certificate, the cost is 200 rubles.

On the phone, the girl told me nothing about the certificate.

Oh yeah right? It should have been.

I have talks, will you listen?

No, but we do not leave without a certificate.

About swimming pool, fitness, fitness club, subscription, long-range

Fuck you in shit. I go to the doctor, in 15 seconds my wrists and ankles are examined, a seal is placed. I go to the dressing room and see a miracle - closets without locks, without code, without nichu. Only the cushions under the castle are made.



Huge, his mother, the wardrobe, and there is no lock on any closet. I go to reception.

How do I close the closet?

You should have brought the castle with you.

What to fuck? What a castle? And the swimming pool and two trainers I did not have to bring with me under the mouse?

The manager should have warned you.

About swimming pool, fitness, fitness club, subscription, long-range

No warning, the conversation is recorded. I’ll deal with you after I swim, and now what to do with the closet?

The rental fee is 200 rubles for 1 day.

About swimming pool, fitness, fitness club, subscription, long-range

Give me your fucking lock.



The pool relaxed a little, the anger let go. I dress up, collect things, go out to the reception.



- I want to leave a complaint on your manager, who swung his tongue into his ass and did not talk about the necessary spending of money.

We have just opened, we have no complaint book yet.



It was fighting. Fuck you, the pool for 400 rubles although ugly in the shower, but not bad. I’ll come back to you again, I’ll vote for Ruby.



A couple of days. The call:

This is the Bla-Bla. Were you on a guest visit?

Aaa, it is you. Yes, and I will not come to you again.

And what happened?

Why didn’t you tell me that the lock of the closet should be taken with you? Why didn’t you say you needed a certificate? Why do I find out about spending money on a free visit when I come to you, not in advance?

I told you!

I have conversations written. I can let you listen to the record, so that 400 rubles are deducted from your salary and returned to me.

Oh, that is all! Goodbye, I’m sorry you didn’t like it.



It is angry! Blaat, say you about those 400 rubles in advance - no problem at all! And as long as you keep us fools and put us in front of the fact, you will have empty rooms and unhappy customers, and endless complaints.

The Chinese fake everything they can. They bought a cheap phone, and the Chinese Trojan was originally wrapped in its axis. After a while after the purchase, the phone started mining.
Q: How do you know that the phone is running?
Zzz: He gets new clothes, then a car, an apartment, and he leaves.

Only in our country the informatization and computerization of ministries and departments is accompanied by an increase in the number of officials.

People who go to work every day often ask:
“How do you, retirees, spend the day killing time?”
For example, yesterday, Saturday, my wife and I went to the city for shopping. We went to a huge shopping center, went around almost all the shops, bought something and gathered home.
As we walked out of the last shop to the parking lot, we saw a police officer issuing a fine for excess parking time. Polite, with a smile, I asked him if he could tolerate two retirees and not write out a fine. Without any reaction to my request, he placed the receipt of the fine under the doorstep on the front glass.
It pulled me out of myself, and I called it an impasse. 
He looked at me with nothing expressive and wrote out another penalty for the wheels down, putting it under the first.
My wife has already intervened. People who know her know - if she starts, it is very difficult to stop her. 
After a short verbal interruption, she told him that he was... for which a third fine was issued.
The more we insulted him, the more fines he issued. 
The whole process lasted ten minutes... 
Then our bus arrived and we went home.
We did not regret the owner of the car, as the sticker "Down Israel" was glued on the rear glass. I support Hamas.”
Oh yeah... 
At our age, it is very important to find various entertainment - we are retired and we have a lot of free time.

Kpacivo live not zappeitiš - on the day of desire ppocitytyky podpyžky ckinylyc and caused you to ask...

Are your designers responsive?
It is adaptive :)

The most chic for the country is capitalism with totalitarianism + a tough selection of doctors, engineers-constructors, etc. Requires heads on shoulders. There are no abilities - forward to the building, the factory or the garden. You get outraged and rattled right - with a wheel in the camps or under the shooting. Human rights – first prove that you deserve them.

You have forgotten to say WHOM you will prove that you have the ability and deserve the human rights (and how much it will cost you). Thus, we and under the totalitarian USSR had entrance exams to the university, but it happened that the three-year-olds passed them successfully, and the excellent ones fell asleep.

XX: Do you read the diagrams well? I just don’t see them at all and I don’t understand what they are painted on.
xxx: I remember drawing a circle in the RCS and there a rectangle with a circle smaller fit. Type "scheme of work of the geoportal" and then 5 years this illustration went on various articles and presentations. Schematically it works like this.

15:51 - R4nd0om1z3r: still skyrem fun thing
15:51 - R4nd0om1z3r: runs for himself archmag, head of the thieves guild, assassin of the dark brotherhood, vampire lord from the Kharkon clan in the armor of dawn guards and performs the instructions of the board of bars of solitude

24.05.2008 11:03 xxx: How to rename a block?
24.05.2008 11:06 yyy: _rename
24.05.2008 11:58 xxx: And the elephant did not notice. thank you.
08.06.2013 14:06 zzz: It is worth adding that to perform the _rename command it is necessary to initially highlight any object...
08.06.2013 22:17 qqq: zzz, Young man! XXX is 5 years old!!! to

Did you say you stopped drinking?
It’s been three days, how. But I already missed it...

Restore access to a service. A few years. I call them. and support. The girl says with a pleasant voice:
Of course, we can restore it. For this, please name me the code word specified during registration.
- (20 seconds of silence, I understand that in 5 years I will not remember exactly and say a long deep-minded word) BLA-aaa.
Yes, all right, we’ll send you a new one (no longer listening...)

and Gogol. The beginning.
This is a new trend in the cinema. Take the word. Add "Start" through a point or double point. And a straight kick for 10 points is ready! and the egg. Start", and "Spring. Start" and "Harry Potter. The beginning " " end. The beginning" and the beginning" The beginning"

In St. Petersburg, clowns from the Comic-Trust Theatre held a picket at the legislative assembly with the demand to ban in Russia the show of the film "It" based on the novel of Stephen King. The artists believe that the hero of the painting – the monster Pennywise, who appears in the image of a clown – will defile their profession.

But the Ayatollahs did not troll.
Because the truth.
It is scary clowns.

You, Russians, wrote in white - do not confuse harmless habits with disease. Comprehension of WU? Learn to read...

Strangely enough, from my surroundings, the greatest enemy of naked ankle and spiners is a friend who in his youth drank everything that burns, did not hurt grass, mushrooms and other natural substances, and bathed exclusively naked on any beach.

XXX: Stay silent in the cloth. Shouldn’t you go to the rallies?
YYY: Of course it is worth it. When in their head do not go different mute personalities such as parties from the debris of history, clichés-rusophobes and bullish hysterics of all kinds. In the country there are problems of doher, and to the protesters also all kinds of shushers are applauded, which need to cut off political glasses, work out bustling cookies or simply encourage. And when adequate people predictably do not want to go with such, they start screaming that they have endured around.

by Kirill 16:48

and :)
I had a strange feeling when I was invited to take an open lesson in 2010. High Middle Ages and the Crusades in the 6th Class
I came with the record. I begin to tell... and then suddenly I realize that at least half the class are small Muslims.

If on TV female nipples require censorship, and men do not, is it possible on TV to cover female nipples with male nipples?

I come to a friend. She has a bottle on the table.
I ask: What is it for you?
Answer: The wreath of marriage.

My mom tells my little boys how everything will go, well, and about the traditions of weddings in that village.
We will sell the bride and the bridegroom will buy her. It will be in game form.
My son is very doubtful:
Thus e. Will it be bought for money? How a thing? Like a toy machine?
Well yes. But the game is like that.
You have some stupid games.